輕鬆生活英語趣味故事

　　“哪裡有人,哪裡就有笑聲。”從古到今,笑話是人們生活中不可缺少的“調劑品”。笑話使人們在刻板的生活中感到一絲快意和放鬆，在人們的日常生活中起著重要調劑作用。下面小編為大家帶來，歡迎大家閱讀!

　　：那隻雞實在是美味啊

　　There was a little old lady who was nearly blind, and she had three sons who wanted to prove which one was the best to her.

　　Son 1 bought her a 15-room mansion, thinking this would surely be the best that any of them could offer her.

　　Son 2 bought her a beautiful Mercedes with a chauffeur***司機*** included, thinking this would surely win her approval.

　　Son 3 had to do something even better, so he bought her a parrot that he had been training for 15 years to memorize the entire Bible. You could ask the parrot any verse in the Bible, and he could quote it word for word. What a gift that would be.

　　Well, the old lady went to the first son and said, "Son, the house is just gorgeous, but it's really much too big for me. I only live in one room, and it's too large to clean and take care of. I really don't need the house, but thank you anyway." Then she confronted her second son with, "Son, the car is beautiful. It has everything you could ever want on it, but I don't drive and really don't like the chauffeur, so please return the car."

　　Next, she went to Son 3 and said, "Son, I just want to thank you for your most thoughtful gift. That chicken was delicious."

　　從前有一個近乎失明的小老太，她有三個兒子，每一個都想向母親證明自己對她最好。

　　第一個兒子為她買下一棟有15個房間的大屋，他覺得這是對母親最好的孝順方式，其他兄弟都比不上。

　　二兒子為她買了一輛漂亮的賓士，還配了個司機。他也覺得他一定會贏了。

　　老三為母親買了一隻鸚鵡。這隻鸚鵡接受了15年的訓練，能一字不落地背誦整部聖經，並且不論你問他什麼，他都能從聖經裡原句引出。

　　這位老太太對他的第一個兒子說：“孩子，你買的房子很棒。但是它太大了，我只能睡一間屋，還要花時間去 打理剩下的房間，謝謝你，但我實在不需要它。”接著她對二兒子說：“你的車也很好，再不能找到比那更棒的車了，但我不會開車，也不喜歡那個司機，所以你把它拿去推了吧!”

　　最後，她對她的小兒子說：“孩子，我要感謝你最棒的禮物!那隻雞實在是美味啊!”

　　：午飯是他自個做的

　　An Irishman, a Mexican and a blonde guy were doing construction work on the 30th floor of a building.

　　The Irishman opened his lunch box and said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch I'm going to jump off this building."

　　The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "burritos again! If I get burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too."

　　The blonde opened his lunch and said, "Bologna again. If I get a bologna sandwich one more time I'm jumping too."

　　Next day the Irishman opens his lunch b box, sees corned beef and cabbage and jumps to his death. The Mexican opens his lunch, sees a burrito and jumps too, the blonde opens his lunch, sees the bologna and jumps to his death also.

　　At the funeral, the Irishman's wife is weeping, she says, "if I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage I never would have given it to him again!" the Mexican's wife also weeps and says, "I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much." Everyone turned and stared at the blonde's wife. "Hey, don't look at me," She said. "He made his own lunch."

　　一個愛爾蘭人，一個墨西哥人和一個金髮男子在一棟樓房的第三十層施工。

　　愛爾蘭人開啟飯盒說：“鹹牛肉和捲心菜!下次午飯還吃鹹牛肉和捲心菜，我就從這樓上跳下去。”

　　墨西哥人開啟飯盒說：“又是玉米煎餅。下次如果還是玉米煎餅，我也跳下去。”

　　金髮人開啟飯盒說：“又是大臘腸。下次如果還是大臘腸三明治，我也跳下去。”

　　第二天，愛爾蘭人開啟盒飯看到鹹牛肉和捲心菜便跳樓死了。墨西哥人開啟飯盒看到玉米煎餅也跳了樓，金髮人開啟飯盒看到大臘腸也跳樓自殺了。

　　葬禮上，愛爾蘭人的妻子在哭泣，她說：“如果我知道他如此討厭鹹牛肉和捲心菜，我決不會再給他吃!”墨西哥人的妻子也在哭泣著說：“我會給他做玉米麵豆卷和春捲!我沒有發現他是這麼不喜歡吃玉米煎餅。”每個人都把目光轉向金髮男子的妻子並盯著她看。“嘿，別看我，午飯是他自個做的。”她說。