英文短笑話

　　笑話作為一種典型的幽默現象,對其進行系統的研究對於闡釋幽默現象具有舉足輕重的作用。下面是小編帶來的經典短篇英語笑話，歡迎閱讀!

　　經典短篇英語笑話篇一

　　How Long, Doctor? 要多久,醫生?

　　When the surgeon came to see his blonde patient on the day after her operation, she asked him somewhat hesitantly just how long it would be before she could resume her sex life.

　　手術後第二天，外科醫生去看他的金髮碧眼的美女病人，她有點吞吞吐吐地問他多久以後她能恢復性生活。

　　Uh, I hadn't really thought about it" replied the stunned surgeon. You're the first one ever to ask that after a tonsillectomy."

　　“啊，我真的從來沒想過這點!”醫生萬分驚諤，“你是第一個做了扁桃體切除手術後問我這種問題的人!”

　　經典短篇英語笑話篇二

　　Have you ceased beating your wife你停止打你老婆了嗎?

　　This story is told of a browbeating counsel，who habitually endeavored to terrorize his opponent's witnesses.

　　這個故事講的是一個咄咄逼人的辯護律師，他慣於儘量去恐嚇對方的證人。

　　One witness rather tended to preface his replies with lengthy explanations.

　　有一個證人有點傾向於在回答問題之前做冗長的解釋。

　　“I want‘yes’or‘no，’”thundered counsel.“There is no need for you to argue the point!”

　　“我要你回答‘是’或者‘不是’，”辯護律師怒喝道： “你沒有必要就這個問題進行爭論。”

　　“But there are some questions which cannot be answered by‘yes’or‘no，’”mildly responded the witness.

　　“可是有些問題無法用‘是’或者‘不是’來回答。”這位證人溫和地回敬他。

　　“There are not!” snapped the lawyer.

　　“不存在這樣的問題!”律師厲聲打斷他。

　　“Oh，” said the witness，“answer this then：“Have you ceased beating your wife?”

　　“噢，”證人說：“那麼請你回答這個問題：“你停止打你老婆了嗎?”

　　經典短篇英語笑話篇三

　　I am acting like a lady我要表現得象位女士

　　One day when womens dresses were on sale at the FarEast Department Store， a dignified middle-aged man decided to get his wife a piece.

　　一天，遠東百貨公司的女裝大減價，一位看起來很高貴的中年男子想給太太買一件。

　　But he soon found himself being battered by frantic women. He stood it as long as he could; then， with head lowered and arms flailing， he plowed through the crowed.

　　但是不久他就發現自己被瘋狂的女人們擠得不成樣子了。 他盡力忍耐著。後來，他低下頭，猛烈地舞動著手臂擠過人群。

　　"You there!" challenged a thrill voice. "Cant you act like a gentleman?" "Listen，" he said， "I have been acting like a gentleman for an hour.

　　“你幹嘛?”有人在尖叫，“你難道不能表現得象位紳士嗎?” “聽著，”他說，“我已經象紳士一樣表現了一個小時。

　　From now on， I am acting like a lady."

　　從現在起，我要表現得象位女士。”

　　經典短篇英語笑話篇四

　　Headstone墓石

　　A lawyer named Strange was shopping for a tombstone. After he had made his selection, the stonecutter asked him what inscription he would like on it.

　　一個姓Strange的律師去買墓碑。他選好了以後，石匠問他，要在墓碑上刻什麼碑銘。

　　"Here lies an honest man and a lawyer," responded the lawyer. "Sorry, but I can't do that," replied the stonecutter.

　　律師回答：“這裡長眠著一個誠實的人，一個律師。”“對不起，我辦不到，”

　　"In this state, it's against the law to bury two people in the same grave.

　　石匠說，“要是這樣的話，違反了一個墳墓只能埋葬一個人的法律。

　　However, I could put ``here lies an honest lawyer" "But that won't let people know who it is" protested the lawyer.

　　不過，我會刻上：‘這裡長眠著一位誠實的律師’。律師抗議：“但是那樣人們就不知道這裡埋葬的是誰啊!”

　　"Certainly will," retorted the stonecutter. "people will read it and exclaim, "That's Strange!"

　　“當然知道啦，”石匠反駁道，“人們看到會驚呼‘太奇怪了!’”

　　經典短篇英語笑話篇五

　　They Are directly from America它們是從美國帶來的

　　Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her.

　　一位中國老太太去美國看望女兒回來不久，到一家市銀行存女兒給她的美元。

　　At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real.

　　在銀行櫃檯，銀行職員認真檢查了每一張鈔票，看是否有假。

　　It made the old lady out of patience. At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money.

　　這種做法讓老婦人很不耐煩，最後她實在忍不住說：“相信我，先生，也請你相信這些鈔票。

　　They are real US dollars. They are directly from America."

　　這些都是真正的美元，它們都是直接從美國帶來的。”