關於英語笑話小作文閱讀

　　與一般日常會話不同,笑話刻意地違反合作原則,引匯出會話含意,並且利用會話含意之間的衝突來達到其預定功能。下面是小編帶來的，歡迎閱讀!

　　篇一

　　The Bait 把誘餌扔回海里

　　A man and his wife were on a holiday.Theywent for a sail. Unfortunately the wife fell overboard and was drowned. The man asked the pier-master to let him know if her body was found. Two weeks later he received a wire saying: "Body recovered yesterday covered with crabs. Send instructions." The man sent a wire back saying, "Sell crabs, send the money; reset bait."

　　一個男人和妻子去度假。他們乘風出海，不幸的是妻子掉入海中淹死了。這個男人叫碼頭的負責人在妻子的屍體找到後通知他一聲。二個星期後，他接到了一份電報：“屍體已於昨日找到，上邊爬滿了螃蟹。請指示。”男人回電報說：“賣掉螃蟹，收入匯過來;誘餌扔回海里。”

　　篇二

　　I Lost 我輸了

　　It was at a five o’clock tea. A young man came to the hostess to apologize for his lateness.

　　“So good of you to come， Mr.Jones，and where is your brother?”

　　“You see we're very busy in the office and only one of us could come，so we tossed up for it.”

　　“How nice!And so original， too! And you won?”

　　“No，” said the young man absently，“I lost.”

　　五點鐘，下午茶的時間，一個年輕人因為遲到向女主人致歉。

　　“您能來可真好，瓊斯先生，您的兄弟在哪兒呢?”

　　“您知道我們在辦公室裡有非常忙，我們倆只能來一個，所以就擲幣來決定由誰來。”

　　“太有意思了!還那麼有獨創性!那您贏了?”

　　“不，”年輕人心不在焉地說，“我輸了。”

　　篇三

　　A burglar breaks into a house. He sees a CD player that he wants so he takes it. Then he hears a voice "JESUS is watching you". He looks around with his flashlight wandering "What The HELL Was That?". He spots some $ on a table and takes it......Once again he hears a voice " JESUS is watching you". He hides in a corner trying to find where the voice came from. He spots a birdcage with a parrot in it! He goes over and asks " Was that your voice?". It said "YES". He then says "What's your name?". It says "MOSES". The burglar says " What kind of person names his bird moses??" The parrot replys "THE SAME PERSON THAT NAMES HIS Rottweiler "JESUS".

　　一個竊賊潛入一戶人家。他看到一個喜歡的CD機，他趕緊拿了。就在這個時候他聽到有人說：“耶穌正在看著你。”他照著手電看來看去，嘀咕著：“到底是什麼人在說話?”這時，他看到桌子上有些錢，他又拿了。。。那聲音又來了：“耶穌正在看著你。”他躲到一個角落，想找出是誰在說話。結果看到一隻鸚鵡，於是他問鸚鵡：“是你在說話嗎?”鸚鵡承認了。 小賊說：“你叫什麼名字?”“摩西”。小賊說：“什麼人給鳥取這種名字?”鸚鵡回答：“就是那個給他的羅威那犬取名為‘耶穌’的那個人啊。”

　　篇四

　　The best answer 最佳答案

　　A newspaper organized a contest for the best answer to the question: "If a fire broke out in the Louvre, and if you could only save one painting, which one would you carry out?"

　　The winning reply was: "The one nearest the exit."

　　一份報紙組織了一場競賽，為下面的問題徵集最佳答案：“如果盧浮宮起了火，而你只能救出一幅畫，你將拿出哪一幅?”

　　獲獎的答案是：“最接近出口的那一幅。”

　　篇五

　　Do you think I'm stupid? 你以為我傻啊?

　　Mike and Bob were on the roof, laying tile, when a sudden gust of wind came and knocked down their ladder.

　　"I have an idea," said Mike. "We'll throw you down,and then you can pick up the ladder."

　　"What, do you think I'm stupid? I have an idea. I'll shine my flashlight, and you can climb down on the beam of light."

　　"What, do you think I'm stupid? You'll just turn off the flashlight when I'm halfway there."

　　Mike 和Bob正在屋頂上鋪設瓦片，突然一陣大風把他們的梯子吹倒了。

　　Mike說：“我有個主意，我們把你扔下去，然後你就可以把梯子撿起來了。”

　　“哼，你以為我傻啊?我也有個主意，我點著手電筒，你可以沿著燈柱爬下去。”

　　“哼，你以為我傻啊?如果我爬到一半你把手電關了，我怎麼辦?!”