爆笑的經典英語小笑話

　　笑話是近年來語言學研究比較盛行的話題,其研究方法主要側重於語用學研究,但幽默的產生機制和複雜性決定了幽默研究需要多種語言學理論的交叉與合作。下面是小編帶來的，歡迎閱讀!

　　篇一

　　Job interview with FBI

　　3 men were at the FBI Building for a jobinterview.

　　有3個人正去參加美國聯邦調查局總部的工作面試。

　　The first man walked into the office. The interviewingFBI agent said “to be in the FBI you must be loyal, devoted, and give us yourall. Your wife is in the next room. I want you to go in there and shoot herwith this gun.” The man took the gun, hesitated, and said “sorry, I can’t doit.”

　　第一個人走進了聯邦調查局大樓。聯邦調查局的面試官員：“要做一個聯邦調查員，你應該做到忠誠，專心，並把你的一切都奉獻出來。你的妻子就在隔壁期間，我想讓你去用這把槍打死她。”那個男子拿起槍，開始猶豫，說道：“對不起，我不能夠這樣做。”

　　The next interviewee came into the office. Theagent said “to be in the FBI you must be loyal, devoted, and give us your all. Yourwife is in the next room. I want you to go in there and shoot her with thisgun.” The man took the gun, walked into the room, then walk out. “Sorry, I can’tdo it.” He said.

　　第二個人走進了聯邦調查局大樓。聯邦調查局的面試官員：“要做一個聯邦調查員，你應該做到忠誠，專心，並把你的一切都奉獻出來。你的妻子就在隔壁期間，我想讓你去用這把槍打死她。”那個男子拿起槍，走進房間，接著又退了出來。他說：“抱歉，我不能夠這樣做。”

　　The last man came into the office. Theinterviewer said “to be in the FBI you must be in loyal, devoted, and give usyour all. Your wife is in the next room. I want you to go in there and shoother with this gun.” The man took the gun and went into the room. The agentheard 6 shots, silence, and then a lot of screaming.

　　第二個人走進了聯邦調查局大樓。聯邦調查局的面試官員：“要做一個聯邦調查員，你應該做到忠誠，專心，並把你的一切都奉獻出來。你的妻子就在隔壁期間，我想讓你去用這把槍打死她。”他拿起了槍走進了房間。代理聽到了6聲槍響，一陣安靜，接著聽到了一陣尖叫。

　　The man came out of the room and said “someoneloaded the gun with blanks, so I beat her to death with the curtain railing.”

　　那個人走出房間說道：“有人裝著空子彈，所以我用窗簾杆子把她打死了!”

　　篇二

　　Teacher: whoever answers my next question, can go home.

　　老師：誰能回到我下一個問題，誰就可以回家了。

　　One boy throws his bag out the window.

　　一個小男孩把書包扔到窗外。

　　Teacher: who just threw that?!

　　老師：誰剛剛把書包扔出去了?

　　Boy: Me! I’m going home now.

　　男孩：我!我現在要回家了。

　　篇三

　　Teacher: Cassandra, if I saw a man beating a donkey and I stopped him, what virtue would I be demonstrating?

　　Cassandra: Brotherly love?

　　老師：Cassandra，如果我看見有人在毆打一頭驢，我制止了他，我顯示出了什麼美德?

　　Cassabdra：兄弟般的關愛?

　　篇四

　　One day a lady saw a mouse running across her kitchen floor. She was very afraid of mouse, so she ran out of the house, got into a bus and went to the shops. There she bought a mousetrap. The shopkeeper said to her, "Put some cheese in it and you will soon catch that mouse."

　　有一天某位女士看到一隻老鼠在自家的廚房地板上竄過。她很害怕老鼠，所以她衝出屋子，搭上了公共汽車直奔商店。在那兒，她買了一隻老鼠夾。店主告訴她："放點乳酪在裡面，很快你就會逮住那隻老鼠的。"

　　The lady went home with her mousetrap, but when she looked in her cupboard, she could not find any cheese in it. She did not want to go back to the shop, because it was very late, so she cut a picture of some cheese out of a magazine and put that in the trap.

　　這位女士帶著鼠夾回到家裡，但她沒有在碗櫥裡找到乳酪。她不想再回到商店裡去，因為已經很晚了。於是，她就從一份雜誌中剪下一幅乳酪的圖片放進了夾子。

　　Surprisingly, the picture of the cheese was quite successful! When the lady came down to the kitchen the next morning she found a picture of a mouse in the trap beside the picture of the cheese!

　　令人稱奇的是，這畫有乳酪的圖片竟然奏效了!第二天早上，這位女士下樓到廚房時，發現鼠夾裡乳酪圖片旁有一張畫有老鼠的圖片

　　篇五

　　A woman walks up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch.

　　"I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she says.

　　"What's your secret for a long, happy life?"

　　"I smoke three packs a day, drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods and never, ever exercise."

　　"Wow, that's amazing," says the woman. "How old are you?"

　　"Twenty-six."

　　長壽祕訣

　　一位女士走向坐在門廊的椅子上搖動的小老頭。

　　“我無意中發現，你是多麼幸福，”那女士說。“你幸福而長壽的祕密是什麼?”

　　“我每天抽三包煙，每週喝一箱威士忌，吃高脂肪食品，而且從來不曾鍛鍊。”

　　“哦，真神奇，”女士說。“你高壽?”

　　“二十六。”