五年級好笑的英語笑話帶翻譯

　　唱歌、笑話是學生樂於參與的形式,遇到教學難點,通過它們來降低難度,減輕學生負擔,起到了事半功倍的效果。小編分享，希望可以幫助大家!

　　：Bat Problem

　　Three pastors in the south were having lunch in a diner. One said, "You know, since summer started I've been having trouble with bats in my loft and attic at church. I've tried everything----noise, spray, cats----nothing seems to scare them away."

　　Another said, "Yes, me too. I've got hundreds living in my belfry and in the attic. I've been had the place fumigated, and they still won't go away.""

　　The third said, "I baptized all mine, and made them members of the church...haven't seen one back since!"

　　蝙蝠的問題

　　三個南部的牧師在一家小餐館裡吃午飯。其中的一個說道：“你們知道嗎，自從夏天來臨，我的教堂的閣樓和頂樓就被蝙蝠騷擾，我用盡了一切辦法----噪音、噴霧、貓----似乎什麼都不能把它們趕走。”

　　另外一位說：“是啊，我也是。在我的鐘樓和閣樓也有好幾百只。我曾經請人把整個地方用煙燻消毒一遍，它們還是趕不走。”

　　第三個牧師說：“我為我那裡的所有蝙蝠洗禮，讓它們成為教會的一員......從此一隻也沒有再回來過。”

　　：Snorer 瞌睡者

　　The preacher was vexed***生氣的*** because a certain member of his congregation***集會，聖會*** always fell asleep during the sermon.

　　As the man was snoring in the front row one Sunday, the preacher determined he would teach him not to sleep during the sermon. So, in a whisper, he asked the congregation. "All who want to go to heaven, please rise." Everyone got up except the snorer. After whispering "Be seated", the minister shouted at the top of his voiced, "All those who want to be with the devil, please rise."

　　Awaking with a start***嚇一跳*** , the sleepy-head jumped to his feet and saw the preacherstanding tall and angry in the pulpit***講道壇*** , "Well, sir," he said, "I don't know what we're voting on, but it looks like you and me are the only ones for it."

　　牧師非常生氣，因為總有一個人在他說教時打瞌睡。

　　一個星期天，正當坐在前排的那個人又在瞌睡時，牧師決定要好好教育他一下，讓他不要再在佈道時睡覺。於是他低聲對信徒們說：“想去天堂的人，都請站起來吧。”所有的人都站了起來——當然，除了那個打瞌睡的人。在低聲說過請坐後，牧師高聲喊道：“想去下地獄的人請站起來!”

　　打瞌睡的人被這突然的喊叫聲驚醒了，他站了起來。看到牧師高站在教壇上，正生氣的看著他。這個人說道：“噢，先生，我不知道我們在選什麼，但看上去只有你和我是候選人。”

　　：The Liars 說謊者

　　The minister announced that he would preach on the subject of liars next Sunday. He said, "To make preparation for my discourse***論述，演講***, I hope you all read the seventeenth chapter of Mark."

　　On the following Sunday, when the minister began to preach, he said: "Now, if you have read the seventeenth chapter of Mark as I requested, please raise your hand." Almost everybody's hand went up.

　　Then the minister said: "I want to tell you that there is no seventeenth chapter of Mark."

　　牧師宣佈下個禮拜天他佈道時要講說謊者的問題。他說：“為了給這次佈道做好準備，我希望大家都去看看《馬可福音》的第十七章。”

　　到了下個禮拜天，牧師開始佈道時說：“如果你們按照我的要求看過《馬可福音》的第十七章，現在舉手。”幾乎每個人都舉了手。

　　牧師就說：“我要告訴你們，《馬可福音》並沒有第17章。”