關於經典的英文小笑話

　　笑話使人們在刻板的生活中感到一絲快意和放鬆。與此同時,笑話也是人們反對極權和專制制度的有力武器。小編整理了，歡迎閱讀!

　　：Name For The Bar

　　There are five people in a bar, a bartender, three normal guys and a girl. The bar tender tells the guys, "I am opening up a bar and need a name for it." He then says, " That whoever thinks of the best name, that, that person could come to the grand opening for free." Then he asks the first guy, the first guy is too drunk to answer and just falls of his bar stool, then he asks the second guy and he says, "To hell with you, I don't want to come to your new stupid bar."Finally he asks the third guy, the third guy says," Hang on, i am looking at Mary's leg's", then bar tender says,"That's great, Mary's Legs." About three months later the guy who won by coming up with the best name is waiting outside and a cop comes up to him and says," What are you doing sir? Then the guy says, "I am waiting for Mary's legs to open so I can get a drink."!!!!!!!!!

　　：Dumb Robber

　　Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words, "Give me all your money or I'll shoot," the man shouted, "That's not what I said!"

　　： Can't Explain

　　A Farmer walks into the local bar and sits down at the bar.

　　The Farmer mumbles, "Some things I just can't explain." The bartender, who knows the Farmer as Jim, asks, "What do you mean Jim?".

　　"Well, you know my old cow Betsy? I was milking her this morning and out of the blue she knocks the pail of milk over with her right back leg. So I picked up a piece of rope laying nearby and cut me off a piece. I tied her leg to the post nearby, but some things I just can't explain," Jim said.

　　"Jim, What do you mean by that," the Bartender asks.

　　"Well, I commenced to milking her again and when the pail got half full she kick it over with her left back leg. So I took the left over piece of rope and tied her other leg to another post, but some things I just can't explain," Jim added.

　　"Jim, tell me what it is you can't explain and I'll see if I can help," the Bartender said.

　　"Well, after that I went back to milking her and again I got the pail half full and I'll be darned if she didn't knock the pail over with her tail. Since I didn't have any more rope left I took off my belt and tied one end to her tail. Then I stood up on my stool and reached up to hook the buckleon a nail just above. About that time my pants fell to my ankles and my wife walks into the barn. That's what I can't explain."

　　：Christmas Party

　　What did the guest sing at the Eskimo's Christmas party ?

　　Freeze a jolly fellow !

　　What party game did Jekyll like best ?

　　Hyde and Seek !

　　Did you hear about the man who went to the fancy dress party as a bone ?

　　A dog ate him in the hall !

　　What would you do if you saw Dracula, Frankenstein & The Swamp Thing ?

　　Hope they were going as a fancy dress party !

　　Why couldn't the butterfly go to the Christmas ball ?

　　It was a moth ball !

　　How did the chickens dance at the Christmas party ?

　　Chick to chick !

　　Did you hear about Dracula's Christmas party ?

　　It was a scream !

　　Did you hear about the party with lots of fireworks, balloons & crackers ?

　　It went with a bang !

　　What did Dracula say at the Christmas party ?

　　Fancy a bite ?

　　Why couldn't the skeleton go to the Christmas Party ?

　　He had no body to go with !

　　：Brunette Meets Genie

　　A brunette is walking through the country, when she finds a bottle. She rubs it and, you guessed it, a genie appears.

　　The genie says, "You are allowed three wishes. But, I must warn you, anything you get, all the blondes in the world get twice as much."

　　The woman says, "Okay. Give me a nice house."

　　The genie replies, "You now have one nice house and all the blondes in the world have two."

　　The the lady says, "Give me a gorgeous man."

　　The genie replies, "You now have one gorgeous man, while all the blondes have two."

　　The lady says, "For my last wish, Genie, see that stick over there? Beat me half to death with it."