世界上最搞笑的英語笑話

　　人們在日常生活中經常聽到，讀到或自己講述笑話，笑話產生幽默效果而使人發笑。下面是小編帶來的，歡迎閱讀!

　　篇一

　　On the day of our final exam at my Community College in Santa Maria, Calif., we heard that the bookstore had changed its policy and would buy back our business-management textbooks. Before class, several of us dashed over to the store and sold our books. We were seated and waiting for the test when our professor announced that considering the difficulty of the final, it would be an open-book exam.

　　我在加利福尼亞的聖瑪麗亞市一所社群大學讀書。期末考試那天，聽說書店在回購我們的工商管理課本。考試前，我們幾個趕忙跑到書店把書賣了，隨後，我們坐在教室裡等著考試。這時候教授宣佈：考慮到試題的難度，今天的考試我們決定開卷。

　　篇二

　　One of my favorite teachers at Southeast Missouri State University in Cape Girardeau is known for his droll sense of humor. Explaining his ground rules to one freshman class, he said, "Now I know my lectures can often be dry and boring, so I don't mind if you look at your watches during class. I do, however, object to your pounding them on the desk to make sure they're running!"

　　在開普吉拉多市的東南密蘇里州立大學上學的時候，我喜歡的幾個老師之中有一個以他的幽默感而出名。給新生上頭一節課，他給學生解釋在他課上的紀律，他說：“我知道我的課經常會很枯燥乏味，所以我並不介意你們在課上看錶。然而，我堅決不允許你們把表重重的摔在課桌上，以此來檢查你的表是不是還在走。”

　　篇三

　　A man was driving to work when a truck ran a stop sign ... hit his car broadside, and knocked him cold. Passerbys pulled him from the wreck and revived him. He began a terrific struggle and had to be tranquilized by the medics. Later, when he was calm, they asked him why he struggled so. He said, "I remember the impact, then nothing. I woke up on a concrete slab in front of a huge, flashing 'Shell' sign. And somebody was standing in front of the 'S.'

　　有個人開車行駛在上班的路上，一輛卡車闖紅燈從側面撞上了他的車，當時他就不省人事了。路旁的行人把他從車裡拉出來並喚醒他。剛一醒過來，他就拼命的掙扎著，最後不得不用了藥物才讓他鎮靜下來。過了一會兒，他平靜了，別人問他為什麼要這麼恐怖的掙扎，他說：“被撞之後我就什麼都不知道了，當我醒過來，我發現我躺在了路邊，前面是一個巨大的廣告牌上面閃爍著‘殼牌’，但是有個人擋住了那個“S”。”

　　篇四

　　A little boy needed $50 very badly and prayed for weeks, but nothing happened. Then he decided to write God a letter requesting the $50. When the post office received the letter to God, USA, they decided to send it to the president. The president was so amused that he instructed his secretary to send the boy a $5 bill. The president thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy. The little boy was delighted with the $5 bill and sat down to write a thank-you note to God, which read: Dear God: Thank you very much for sending the money. However, I noticed that for some reason you sent it through Washington, D.C., and, as usual, those turkeys kept $45 in taxes.

　　有個小男孩非常需要50美元，他為此禱告了數週但是什麼也沒發生。後來，他決定寫封信向上帝索要這50美元。郵局接到這封信，想了想覺得還是應該交給總統比較好。總統被逗笑了，於是指示祕書寄給小男孩5美元，因為他覺得5美元對於一個小孩來講已經是不少了。小男孩收到了錢很高興，給上帝回了一封感謝信，信裡寫道：尊敬的上帝，非常感謝你把錢寄給我。然而，我發現這些錢是通過白宮寄出的，因此，和往常一樣，那幫傢伙收了我45美元的稅。

　　篇五

　　Professor Tom was going to meet his students on the next day, so he wrote some words on the blackboard which read as follows: "Professor Tom will meet the class tomorrow." A student, seeing his chance to display his sense of humor after reading the notice, walked up and erased the "c" in the word "class." The Professor noticing the laughter, wheeled around, walked back, looked at the student, then at the notice with the "c" erased--calmly walked up and erased the "l" in "lass", looked at the flabbergasted student and proceeded on his way.

　　湯姆教授打算第二天與他的學生見面，因此他在黑板上寫道：“湯姆教授明天將和大家見面”。一位學生看到這條通知後，覺得展示自己幽默感的機會來了，就走上前，將“class”中的“c”擦掉，教授聽到笑聲，轉過身走回來，看了看那位學生，又看看被改動過的通知，不動聲色地走上前，把“lass” 中的“l”擦掉，看了看那位目瞪口呆的學生，教授揚長而去。