簡短但要爆笑的英語笑話

　　英語冷笑話是一種新興的語言現象,伴隨著網路的普及它已經滲透到了青年群體的日常生活,偶爾爆出的一兩句冷笑話能使交流氛圍變得輕鬆愉悅,也能展示交談者的幽默和智慧。小編精心收集了，供大家欣賞學習!

　　：Mounted Cop

　　There was a cop on his horse waiting to cross the road when a little boy on his new shiny bike stopped beside him.

　　"Nice bike," the cop said, "did santa bring it to you?"

　　"Yep," the little boy said,"he sure did!"

　　The cop looked at the bike and while handing the boy a $20 ticket he said, "Next year, tell Santa to put a license plate on the back of it."

　　To go along with the cop, the little boy said, "Nice horse you got there sir, did Santa bring it to you?" "Yes,He sure did," said the cop.

　　The little boy looked up at the cop and said, "Next year tell Santa to put the dick onunderneath the horse instead of on top."

　　：Typewriter

　　A husband and wife decided they needed to use "code" to indicate that they wanted to have sex without letting their children in on it. They decided on the word Typewriter. One day the husband told his five year old daughter, "Go tell your mommy that daddy needs to type a letter". The child told her mother what her dad said, and her mom responded, "Tell your daddy that he can't type a letter right now cause there is a red ribbon in the typewriter." The child went back to tell her father what mommy said. A few days later the mom told the daughter, "Tell daddy that he can type that letter now." The child told her father, returned to her mother and announced, "Daddy said never mind with the typewriter, he already wrote the letter by hand."

　　：I won, is that because...

　　Three third graders are playing at recess. A white kid, Jimmy, an Italian kid, Joey, and a black kid, Tyrone. Jimmy says, "I'm bored, every day we come out at recess and do the same thing. Lets do something different. Lets measure our penis'." So they all whip out their penis' and Jimmy and Joey say "Wow Tyrone, u have the biggest penis, you win." So that night Tryone's mother asks what he did in school, so he tells her, "we were really bored at recess, so me Joey and Jimmy measured our penis', and mom, guess what. I won, Is that because I'm black?? so his mother looks at him and says, "No son, its because your 23.

　　：What do you want for Xmas?

　　A little boy goes to the local mall to see Santa. When Santa askes the little boy what he wants for Christmas, the little boy replies, "I don't know". So Santa startsthinking of things that the little boy might like and spells it out. Each time he says a letter, he pushes the boys nose. B-I-K-E. C-A-T.

　　Etc. Santa runs out of ideas and asks the little boy one more time what he wants for Christmas. The little boy says, "I want some P-U-S-S-Y, and I know you have some because I can smell it on your fingers.

　　：Is The Seal Broken?

　　A mother and her young son returned from the grocery store and began putting away the groceries.

　　The boy opened the box of animal crackers and spread them all over the table.

　　"What are you doing," his mother asked?

　　"The box says you can't eat them if the seal is broken," the boy explained. "I'm looking for the seal."