幽默英語笑話

　　笑話是日常生活中人們消遣娛樂的一種常見語言現象,其目的在於在會話過程中傳遞和激發幽默感。下面是小編帶來的爆笑幽默笑話大全，歡迎閱讀!

　　爆笑幽默笑話大全篇一

　　花的語言

　　A gentleman entered a busy florist shop that displayed a large sign that read "Say It With Flowers".

　　一位先生走進一家生意興隆的商店。他見到花店的大廣告牌上寫著:“讓鮮花代替您的語言。”

　　"Wrap up one rose,"he told the florist.

　　“請包一支玫瑰。”他對賣花的人說。

　　"Only one?"the florist asked.

　　“就要一支?”賣花人問。

　　" Just one，“the customer replied.“I'm a man of few words. "

　　“對，就一支。”那位先生說:“我這個人講話不多。”

　　爆笑幽默笑話大全篇二

　　治癒的人

　　"We rarely use the word cure，"said the psychiatrist to his patient. "But after five years of therapy it is my pleasure to pronounce you completely cured. "To his surprise，an unhappy look came over the woman's face. "What's wrong?"he asked.”I thought you`d be thrilled."

　　“我們很少用‘治癒’這個詞。”心理醫生對他的患者說:“但經過五年的治療，我十分高興地宣佈你已徹底治癒了。”出乎他的意料，這位婦女的臉上露出了不高興的神色。“您怎麼了?”醫生問，“我以為您會喜出望外的。”

　　" Oh，it's fine for you,"she said，”but try to look at it from my point of view. Three years ago I was Joan of Arc.Now I'm nobody.”

　　“對於您來說，這當然是許好事。您應該替我想一想，三年前我還是聖女貞德。而現在我變成了普通人。”

　　爆笑幽默笑話大全篇三

　　烹飪節目

　　Two neighbors were chatting over the back fence. "Did you know that my wife has started a cooking show on television?"one asked.

　　兩個鄰居在後院隔著柵聊柳天。一個問:“你知道我妻子在電視上開始主持烹飪節目了嗎?”

　　" Really?" replied the other fellow.”That's terrific!What's the show called?"

　　“真的嗎?”另一個說，“那可太棒了，那個節目叫什麼名字?”

　　"That's Inedible. "

　　“不能食用的東西。”

　　爆笑幽默笑話大全篇四

　　那又怎麼樣?

　　"With a single stroke of a brush,"said the art teacher，taking his class around the National Gallery," Joshua Reynolds could change a smiling face to a frowning one. "

　　“只需揮一下筆刷，”美術老師站在國家美術館前對他的學生說，“宙華理諾思就能把一張微笑的臉變成一幅長滿皺紋的臉。”

　　" That's nothing，“said one small boy.”So can my mother."

　　一名男生說:“那有什麼，我媽媽也能做得到。”

　　爆笑幽默笑話大全篇五

　　上帝與惡魔

　　A preacher was asking for contributions to the church's sprogram to buy food for the needy. The town gambler, who also owned the salon and several other shady operations，offered the preacher $500.“You can't take that," a scandalized deacon told the preacher. "That's the devil's money.”

　　教堂活動中有個專案是為窮人捐錢買食物。一次一位牧師在請求公眾捐資時，鎮上一名擁有一個沙龍和幾個***的***老闆捐了五百塊錢。“你不該接受他的錢。”一位名聲很

　　壞的收師對那位牧師說，“那錢是魔鬼的錢。

　　"Well，brother，"said the preacher，cheerfully accepting the gift,"in that case，the devil has had his hands on it long enough. Now let's see what the Lord can do with it.”

　　“澳，我說兄弟，”高興地收了捐贈的牧師說:“要是那樣的話，魔鬼的手印一定還在這錢上，現在咱們就看看上帝會怎樣來對什它吧!”