搞笑的英語笑話帶翻譯

　　冷笑話作為一種新興的頗受年輕人和網民喜愛的語言方式,一般不會使讀者在聽到或者讀到之後立即發笑,而往往會停頓一下才能明白其中的幽默點。小編精心收集了，供大家欣賞學習!

　　篇1

　　A Nail Or A Fly?

　　釘子還是蒼蠅?

　　An old gentleman whose eyesight was failing came to stay in a hotel room with a bottle of wine in each hand. On the wall there was a fly which he took for a nail. So the moment he hung them on, the bottles fell broken and the wine spilt all over the floor. When a waitress discovered what had happened, she showed deep sympathy for him and decided to do him a favour.

　　一位視力正在衰退的老紳士住進了一家旅館的客房。他雙手各拿一瓶酒。在牆上有隻蒼蠅，他誤以為是枚釘子。他把兩隻瓶子朝上一掛，瓶子掉下來摔碎了，酒灑了一地。一個女服務員發現發生的事情以後，對他深表同情，決定幫他個忙。

　　So the next morning when he was out taking a walk in the roof garden, she hammered a nail exactly where the fly had stayed.

　　於是，第二天早上他到樓頂花園散步時，她把一枚釘子釘在了蒼蠅停過的地方。

　　Now the old man entered his room. The smell of the spilt wine reminded him of the accident. When he looked up at the wall, he found the fly was there again! He walked to it carefully adn slapped it with all his strength. On hearing a loud cry, the kind-hearted waitress rushed in. To her great surprise, the poor old man was there sitting on the floor, his teeth clenched and his right hand bleeding!

　　這裡，老人回到了房裡。倒灑的酒味讓他想起了那件事。他抬頭往牆上一看，蒼蠅又停在了那兒!他輕手輕腳地走近，使盡全力拍了一掌。聽到一聲大叫，好心的女服務員衝進房來。讓她大為吃驚的是，可憐的老頭正坐在地板上，牙關緊咬，右手滴血不止。

　　篇2

　　Chaude and Cold

　　熱與冷

　　A patron in Montreal cafe turned on a tap in the washroom and got scalded. "This is an outrage," he complained. "The faucet marked C gave me boiling water."

　　蒙特利爾自助餐廳的一位顧客擰開盥洗室的龍頭，結果被水燙傷了。“這太可惡了，”他抱怨道，“標著C的龍頭流出的是開水。”

　　"But, Monsieur, C stands for chaude - French for hot. You should know that if you live in Montreal."

　　“可是，先生，C代表Chaude-法語裡代表‘熱’。如果您居住在蒙特利爾的話就得知道這一點。”

　　"Wait a minute," roared the patron. "The other tap is also marked C."

　　“等等，”那位顧客咆哮一聲，“另外一個龍頭同樣標的是C。”

　　"Of course," said the manager, "It stands for cold. After all, Montreal is a bilingual city."

　　“當然，”經理說道：“它代表冷。畢竟，蒙特利爾是個雙語城市。”

　　篇3

　　A Soldier's Brilliant Idea

　　士兵的高招

　　Mr. Robinson had to travel somewhere on business, and as he was in a hurry, he decided to go by air. He liked sitting beside a window when he was flying, so when he got on to the plane, he looked for a window seat. He found all of them had already had been taken except for one. There was a soldier sitting in the seat beside this one, and Mr. Robinson was surprised that he had not taken the one by the window; but, anyhow, he at once went towards it.

　　由於生意方面的事，羅賓遜先生得出趟門。因為有點緊急，他決定坐飛機。乘機旅行時，他喜歡靠窗坐，故而一登機，他就尋找一個靠窗的座位。他發現只有一個靠窗的座位還空著。在那空座位邊坐著一名士兵。令羅賓遜先生納悶的是，這位士兵沒有坐靠窗的位置。羅賓遜先生不管那些，他馬上徑直朝那個空座位走去。

　　When he reached it, however, he saw that there was a notice on it. It was written in ink and said, "This seat is preserved for proper load balance, thank you." Mr Robinson had never seen such an unusual notice in a plane before, but he thought that the plane must be carrying something particularly heavy in it, so he walked on and found another empty seat, not beside a window, to sit in.

　　然而，等到了那兒，他看見座位上有則啟事，是用鋼筆寫的：“為保持裝載平衡，特預設該位置，謝謝合作。”羅賓遜先生還從來沒有在飛機上見過如此不同尋常的啟事。不過，他想飛機上一定裝了什麼特別重的物品，於是他找了個不靠窗的位置。

　　Two or three people tried to sit in the window seat beside the soldier, but they too read the notice and went on, when the plane was nearly full, a very beautiful girl hurried into the plane. The soldier, who was watching the passengers coming in, quickly took the notice off the seat beside himself and in this way succeededin having the company of the girl during the whole trip.

　　又有兩三個乘客試圖坐在那個士兵旁的靠窗座位上，他們看到那則啟事就走開了。當快滿座時，一位非常美麗的姑娘匆匆走進機艙。一直在注意進艙旅客的那個士兵趕緊拿掉他旁邊空座位上的啟事。士兵用這種辦法，成功地找到了一位姑娘一路做伴。