小學爆笑的英語笑話帶翻譯

　　笑話一般比較短小,喜劇性很強,普遍存在於人們的日常生活中。小編整理了，歡迎閱讀!

　　：提前了的聖誕大搶購

　　An offender was brought to trial before a judge. The judge asked him, "What is the crime you have committed?"The offender said, "I went shopping too early during the New Year."

　　有個犯人被帶到法官面前審案，法官問他：“你犯了什麼罪?”犯人說：“因為我在新年時，太早去採購了。”

　　The judge said, "This is not a crime! Is there a mistake, perhaps? So how early did you go shopping?"He answered, "The shop was not yet open for business, and I was already inside."

　　法官說：“這不是罪呀!可能是弄錯吧?那你多早去採購呢?”他說：“商店還沒開門，我就已經進去了。”

　　：吝嗇鬼被下地獄

　　When a very miserly man nicknamed the "stingy ghost" died and went to hell, the Yama King reproached him, saying, "You stingy ghost! When you were alive, you clung hard to everything and wouldn't give to anyone. Even when you saw others in poverty and misery, you refused to offer them help. Also, you didn't take good care of your parents, relatives or friends and let them suffer and starve. For your evil karma, you'll be dumped into a pot of boiling oil."

　　有一個人很吝嗇，叫吝嗇鬼，他死了以後下地獄，閻羅王罵他說：“你這個吝嗇鬼，在塵間的時候什麼東西都抓很緊不放，什麼人都不給，看到貧窮、痛苦的人也不幫助，父母、親戚、朋友也沒有照顧好，讓他們都捱餓受苦，你這種凶惡的業障，應該被放入***的油鍋裡面。”

　　The ghost wardens then escorted the man to the pot of boiling oil, and when they arrived, he looked at the pot and said, "Hey! Wait a minute! There's so much oil in it. What a waste! Please drain out the oil, sell it and give me the money. Then, you can simply dump me in a pot of boiling water! There's no need for oil. You're using too much oil to cook one person anyway!"

　　鬼差就帶他到滾得很熱、很燙的油鍋那邊，吝嗇鬼一看就說：“喔，等一下、慢一下!油那麼多，怎麼那麼浪費呢?你們先把這些油倒出來，賣出去後把錢給我，然後丟我在熱燙的水裡就可以了!何必用油，而且還用那麼多油!”

　　：話說最佳興奮劑

　　A patient said to his doctor, "Doc, please give me something that will stimulate me, excite me, and put me in a, very, very highly stimulated spirit, a fighting, excited spirit."

　　病人跟醫生說：“醫生，請給我一些可以振奮、刺激、充滿鬥志的藥。”

　　So the doctor said, "Don't worry, take this, and after you see the bill, you will have all these feelings."

　　醫生說：“別擔心，這個拿去，看到這張帳單以後，你要的這些就都會有了。”

　　：精確到1億零三年的準確數字

　　A tourist was visiting New Mexico and was amazed at the dinosaur bones lying about.How oldare these bones? the tourist asked an elderly Native American, who served as a guide.Exactlyone hundred million and three years old.

　　一位遊客在新墨西哥遊覽，他對隨處可見的恐龍化石甚感驚奇。這些化石有多長的歷史?遊客問一個上了年紀的當地美國人，他是作嚮導的。整整十億零三年了。

　　How can you be so sure? inquired the tourist.Well, replied the guide, a geologist came by hereand told me these bones were one hundred million years old, and that was exactly three yearsago.

　　你怎麼這麼肯定?遊客問道。哦，嚮導回答道，一個地質學家來過這兒，他告訴我說這些化石有十億年了，再加上那是整整三年前的事了。