最幽默爆笑的英文笑話大全

　　笑話,不同文化背景的人的反應有時是不同的,甚至會截然相反。究其原因,是說話雙方沒有真正理解對方的文化。小編整理了最幽默爆笑的英文笑話，歡迎閱讀!

　　最幽默爆笑的英文笑話：墓地驚魂

　　One dark night two guys were walking home after a party and decided to take a shortcutthrough the cemetery.

　　一個漆黑的夜晚，兩個小夥子參加完聚會，決定抄近路穿過一片墳地走回家。

　　When they got to about the middle of the graveyard they were startled and stopped moving.There was this terrifying noise, "TAP-TAP-TAP" coming from the shadows.

　　走到墳地的中間，從陰暗處傳出來恐怖的“嗒、嗒、嗒”聲音，嚇得他們再也走不動了。

　　Trembling with fear, they spotted an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at oneof the headstones.

　　渾身顫抖著，他們發現有個老人正拿著榔頭和鑿子鑿一塊墓碑。

　　"Holy cow, Mister," one of them said after catching his breath.

　　“噢，主啊，”其中一個屏住呼吸說，

　　"You SCARED us half to death. We thought you were a GHOST! What are you doing workinghere so late at night?"

　　“你嚇死我們了，我們還以為你是鬼了。這麼晚了你在這幹什麼呢?”

　　"Those fools!" the old man grumbled. "They misspelled my name!!"

　　“這些傻瓜!”老人抱怨說，“他們拼錯了我的名字!”

　　最幽默爆笑的英文笑話：酒後駕車

　　Late one night a police officer was patrolling a rowdy bar to anticipate possible DUI violations.

　　一天深夜，一名警察去一個經常有人鬧事的酒吧門口巡邏，為了避免有酒後駕車的情況發生。

　　At closing time, he saw a fellow tumble out of the bar, trip on the curb, and try his keys in five different cars before he found his.

　　酒吧打烊了，他看見一個傢伙跌跌撞撞的跑出來，一下摔在路邊，隨後又用鑰匙試著開了五輛車的門才找到他自己的車。

　　Then he sat in the front seat fumbling around with his keys for several minutes.

　　坐進車裡，好幾分鐘他又都是在摸著那些鑰匙。

　　Everyone else left the bar and drove off. Finally he started his engine and began to pull away.

　　這時人們都從酒吧出來並且開車走了。最後他也發動了車子準備開走，

　　The police officer was waiting for him and turned on his light and pulled the driver over, read him his rights and administered the breathalyzer test.

　　警察已經等這個機會很久了，他開啟燈，把司機從車裡拉出來，給他宣讀了他所享有的法定權利，然後作了酒精的測試。

　　The test results showed a reading of 0.00.

　　測試的結果是零，

　　The puzzled officer demanded to know how could that be.

　　於是困惑的警察問他是為什麼，

　　The driver replied, "Tonight I'm the designated decoy!"

　　司機說：“今晚他們派我當誘餌。”

　　最幽默爆笑的英文笑話：***

　　A man left for a vacation to Jamaica.

　　有個人去牙買加度假，

　　His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day.

　　他的妻子正好出差，所以打算在他到之後的第二天去找他。

　　When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick e-mail message.

　　他到了賓館，想要給妻子發封郵件，

　　Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her e-mail address, he did his best to type it in from memory.

　　但是記著郵箱的紙找不到了，於是他憑著記憶把信發到了一個郵箱。

　　Unfortunately, he missed one letter, and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher's wife whose husband had passed away only the day before.

　　很不幸，他漏掉了一個字母，因此他的信發到了一個老傳教士的妻子的郵箱裡，而傳教士恰好在前一天去世了。

　　When the grieving widow checked her e-mail, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor dead.

　　悲痛的老婦人察看郵箱，看著顯示器螢幕她尖叫一聲，隨後就倒在地上死去了。

　　At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen: "Dearest Wife, Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.

　　聽到她的聲音，家人趕忙跑進她的房間，只見這樣一句話顯示在螢幕上：“親愛的，快來吧。為了你明天的到來，一切都準備好了。愛你的丈夫。

　　Your Loving Husband. P.S. Sure is hot down here."

　　順便說一句，這裡可真夠熱的。”

　　最幽默爆笑的英文笑話：離事故有多遠?

　　A carpenter was giving evidence about an accident he had witnessed.

　　一位木匠正在為他目擊的一起事故作證。

　　The judge asked him how far away he was from the accident.

　　法官問他當時離事發現場有多遠。

　　The carpenter replied "twenty seven feet, six-and-one-half- inches".

　　木匠回答，“27英尺，6.5英寸”。

　　"What? How come you are so sure of that distance?" asked the judge.

　　法官問：“什麼?你怎麼能這樣確定?”

　　"Well, I knew some idiot would ask me. So I measured it!" replied the carpenter.

　　木匠回答，“是啊，我知道一定會有傻瓜問我這個問題，所以我事先測量了一下。”