短篇英語笑話選集摘抄

　　笑話理解起來不用動腦筋,可以達到思維方式和精神上放鬆的目的;它蘊藏了蓄勢待發的下一波主流文化,可發掘年輕人洞察力的細節。下面小編整理了短篇英語笑話選集，希望大家喜歡!

　　慷慨***中英***

　　An Italian walks into a bar with a bad knee and notices a guy sitting at the end of the bar. He walks to the bartender and asks who it is. The bartender tells him it is Jesus. The Italian orders a drink for himself and Jesus.

　　一個義大利人一瘸一拐地走進了一個酒吧，他注意到酒吧裡的一個人，於是就走到酒吧服務員那裡問那個人是誰。酒吧服務員告訴他那個人是耶穌。那個義大利人點了一杯酒，也給耶穌點了一杯。

　　Next, a mute walks in. He asks if that is Jesus. He then orders a drink for himself and for Jesus.

　　接著，一個啞巴走了進來。他過去問那個人是否是耶穌。然後他也為自己和耶穌各點了一杯酒。

　　Finally, a redneck walks in and orders a drink for himself and Jesus. A few minutes later, Jesus gets up and goes to the Italian. He thanks him for his generosity and heals him Jesus walks over to the mute, thanks him, and heals him Then, he walks over to the redneck. The redneck jumps up and shouts, "Don't heal me, I've no disability

　　最後，一個農民走進來也給自己和耶穌點了酒。過了幾分鐘，耶穌站了起來走到那個義大利人跟前。他感謝了那個義大利人的慷慨並且治癒了他的腿。耶穌又來到了那個啞巴跟前，謝了他之後也治癒了他的殘疾。最後，他走到農民這裡。那個農民跳了起來大喊道:“不要治我，我沒有殘疾!”

　　短篇英語笑話選集鑑賞

　　司機與比爾•克林頓***中英***

　　Bill Clinton and his driver were cruising along a country road one night when all of a sudden they hit a pig, killing it instant1y. Bill told his driver to go up to the farmhouse and explain to the owners what had happened.

　　一天晚上，比爾·克林頓和他的司機驅車行駛在鄉村的公路上，意外的撞死了一頭豬。克林頓讓司機去向農場的主人解釋所發生的一切。

　　About 1 hour later Bill sees his driver staggering back to the car with a bottle of wine in one hand, a cigar in the other and his clothes all ripped and tom. "What happened to you，”asked Bill. "Well, the farmer gave me the wine, his wife gave me the cigar and his 19 year old daughter made mad passionate love to me.” "My God, what did you tell them"，asked Clinton. The driver replied, "I’m Bill Clinton’s driver, and 1 just killed the pig.”

　　大約一小時後，克林頓看見司機搖搖晃晃的回來了，一手拿著一瓶葡萄酒，另一隻手拿著香菸，衣服破爛不堪。克林頓疑惑地問:“發生了什麼事?”司機回答說:“沒什麼，農場主給我葡萄酒，他老婆給我香菸，他們19歲的女兒瘋狂地愛上了我。”“哦，_L帝，你到底對他們說了些什麼?”司機回答“我是比爾·克林頓的司機，而且剛剛撞死了那頭豬。”

　　短篇英語笑話選集賞析

　　賺錢***中英***

　　A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money.

　　一個年輕人向一位老富翁請教如何賺錢。

　　The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said，"Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel. I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and，at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents. The next morning, I invested those ten cents in two apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them at 5:00 pm for 20 cents. I continued this system for a month，by the end of which I’d accumulated a fortune of $1 .37. Then my wife's father died and left us two million dollars.”

　　這個老人指著自己那破舊的羊毛馬甲說:“看，孩子，這是1932年的。在經濟大蕭條時期，我窮困到只剩一個硬幣了。我用它買了一個蘋果，並用一天的時間把這個蘋果擦亮，到了晚上，我把這個蘋果賣掉了，得到了10美分。第二天，我用這10美分買了兩個蘋果，又用了一天的時間把它們擦亮，晚上5點多的時候，我把蘋果賣20美分。這樣幹了一個月之後，我幸運的積累到了1. 37美元。然後，我妻子的父親去世了，留給了我們200萬美元的遺產。”