英語短笑話精選

　　從古到今,笑話是人們生活中不可缺少的“調劑品”。笑話使人們在刻板的生活中感到一絲快意和放鬆，在人們的日常生活中起著重要調劑作用。下面小編為大家帶來，歡迎大家閱讀!

　　1

　　One day when women's dresses were on sale at the FarEast Department Store, a dignified middle-aged man decided to get his wife a piece. But he soon found himself being battered by frantic women.

　　He stood it as long as he could; then, with head lowered and arms flailing, he plowed through the crowed.

　　"You there!" challenged a thrill voice. "Can't you act like a gentleman?"

　　"Listen," he said, "I have been acting like a gentleman for an hour. From now on, I am acting like a lady."

　　一天，遠東百貨公司的女裝大減價，一位高貴的中年男士想給太太買一件。可是，沒過多久，他發現自己已被瘋狂的女人衝得踉踉蹌蹌。

　　他竭力忍耐著。後來，他低下頭，揮動雙臂，擠過人群。

　　“你幹嘛?”有人尖聲叫道，“你難道不能表現得象位紳士嗎?”

　　“聽著，”他說，“我已經象紳士一樣表現了一個小時。從現在起，我要表現得象個女士。”

　　2

　　An American, a Scot and a Canadian were killed in a car accident. They arrived at the gates of heaven, where a flustered St. Peter explained that there had been a mistake. "Give me $$500 each," he said, "and I'll return you to earth as if the whole thing never happened."

　　"Done!" said the American. Instantly, he found himself standing unhurt near the scene.

　　"Where are the others?" asked a medic.

　　"Last I knew," said the American, "the Scot was haggling price, and the Canadian was arguing that his government should pay."

　　一位美國人，一位英格蘭人和一位加拿大人在一場車禍中喪生。他們到達天堂的門口。在那裡，醉醺醺的聖彼德解釋說是搞錯了。“每人給我五百美元，”他說，“我將把你們送回人間，就象什麼都沒有發生過一樣。”

　　“成交!”美國人說。立刻，他發現自己毫不損傷地站在現場附近。

　　“其他人在哪兒?”一名醫生問道。

　　“我離開之前，”那名美國人說，“我看見英格蘭人正在砍價，而那名加拿大人正在分辯說應該由他的政府來出這筆錢。”

　　3

　　A couple of hunters chartered a small plane to fly them to a forest, and made an appointment with the pilot to come back and fetch them in about two weeks. At the end of the two weeks, they had shot a lot of animals that they wanted to load onto the plane. But the pilot said, "This plane won't be able to take more than one wild buffalo. You'll have to leave the others behind." Then the hunters protested, saying, "But last year, another pilot with the same airplane let us take two buffalos and some other animals in the plane as well." So the new pilot thought about it. He was a little bit skeptical, but finally he said, "OK, since you did it last year, I guess this year we can do it again." Then he loaded the two buffalos and a few other animals in, and the plane took off. Five minutes later, it crashed in a neighboring area. The three men climbed out and looked around, and one hunter said to the other, "Where do you think we are now?" The second one surveyed the area and said, "I think we're about one mile to the left of the place we crashed last year."

　　有兩個獵人包機前往一座森林，到了以後，他們和飛行員約定好兩週後來接。兩週後，他們射了許多動物，而且打算把這些動物全部搬上那架小飛機，可是飛行員說：“這架飛機除了一頭野牛外，沒辦法再多載了。你們必須把其他的獵物都留下。” 獵人說：“但是去年另一個飛行員開一樣的飛機，就讓我們帶兩隻水牛，還有一些其他的動物上機!” 因為他們這樣抗議，所以那個新飛行員想了一想後，儘管還是有點存疑，最後還是妥協說：“好吧!如果去年可以做到，今年應該也可以。”所以他裝了兩頭水牛和一些其他的動物。結果飛機起飛五分鐘後，就墜落在鄰近的地方。這3個人從飛機爬出來看四周，其中一個獵人對另一個說：“你認為我們現在在哪兒?” 那個人瞧了一下，說：“我想大概距離去年墜機的地方西邊一英哩遠!”

　　以上就是小編為大家帶來的，希望大家喜歡!