經典爆笑英文笑話閱讀

　　民間笑話是一種頗受人們喜愛的民間敘事型別,材料豐富,有廣泛的現實基礎。本文是經典爆笑英文笑話，希望對大家有幫助!

　　經典爆笑英文笑話：Looking Young

　　A woman was in the kitchen cooking dinner and she was just singing,

　　humming and giggling all over herself. Her husband asked her why she was

　　so happy. She said, "I went to the doctor today and he said I have the

　　breasts of a twenty year old."

　　The husband then asked, "What did he say about your fifty year old ass?"

　　"Your name didn't come up in our conversation." She replied.

　　經典爆笑英文笑話：Brown Balls

　　The father of 17 kids goes to the doc's with a rash on his belly. "All right" says the Doc, "drop 'em and let's have a look." Having been confronted with the evidence the Doc exclaims "Yes, you've got a bad rash there, but my word, what brown balls you've got. They're trulyremarkable!".

　　The patient is a bit embarrassed and says "Look Doc, what about the rash?"

　　"Oh that's easy," said the Doc, "Here's some cream to rub on. By the way, those brown balls are amazing, my I ask....."

　　"No," said the patient, "You can't. Now, is that all Doc?"

　　"Well, " said the Doctor, " You could stop the rash coming back with a bit better hygiene. Tell your wife you need clean underpants every day. And those really are the brownest balls I've ever seen!"

　　The guy goes home and tells his wife that the Doctor says he needs clean underpants every day.

　　"What?" she yells, "Clean underpants every day, and me with 17 kids to chase after! Seventeen kids to wash, feed, clothe, get to school, tidy after, and you want clean underpants every day? You must be bloody joking, I haven't even got time to wipe my arse!"

　　"Ah" he said, "And that's another thing I wanted to talk to you about..."

　　經典爆笑英文笑話：Dead Husbands

　　A woman announces to her friend that she is getting married for the fourth time.

　　"How wonderful! But I hope you don't mind me asking what happened to your first husband?"

　　"He ate poisonous mushrooms and died."

　　"Oh, how tragic! What about your second husband?"

　　"He ate poisonous mushrooms, too, and died."

　　"Oh, how terrible! I'm almost afraid to ask you about your third husband."

　　"He died of a broken neck."

　　"A broken neck?"

　　"He wouldn't eat the mushrooms."

　　經典爆笑英文笑話：Affair With The Dentist

　　Laura fell for her handsome new dentist like a ton of bricks and pretty soon had lured him into a series of passionate rendezvous in the dental clinic after hours.

　　But one day he said sadly, "Laura, honey, we have to stop seeing each other. Your husband's bound to get suspicious."

　　"No way, sweetie, he's dumb as a post," she assured him. "Besides, we've been meeting here for six months now and he doesn't suspect a thing."

　　"True," agreed the dentist, "but you're down to one tooth!"

　　經典爆笑英文笑話：Virgin's Confession

　　A sixteen year-old virgin girl has a bad day, so she goes to visit her priest after hours in his office. Late that evening, she goes to his office for guidance and confession.

　　"Father, I called a man a son-of-a-bitch yesterday."

　　" Why did you call him a son-of-a-bitch?" the priest asked.

　　" Because, Father, he touched me on my arm without permission."

　　" Do you mean like this?" he asked, as he touched her arm.

　　" Yes, Father."

　　" That's no reason for calling him a son-of-a-bitch."

　　" But, Father, he also touched my breasts."

　　" Do you mean like this?" he asked, as he touched her breasts.

　　" Yes, Father."

　　" That's no reason to call him a son-of-a-bitch."

　　" But, Father, he took off my clothes."

　　" Do you mean like this?" he asked, as he removed her clothes.

　　" Yes, father."

　　" That's no reason to call him a son-of-a-bitch."

　　" But, Father, then he put his you-know-what in my you-know-where."

　　" Do you mean like this?" he asked, as he put his you-know-what in her you-know-where."

　　" Yes, Father."

　　" That's no reason to call him a son-of-a-bitch."

　　" But, Father, he has herpes!

　　Remarked the Father, "That son-of-a-bitch!