關於有趣的英文小笑話

　　笑話是民族文化不可或缺的一部分。透過笑話我們可以看到一個民族的生存環境、生活方式、社會關係和心理特徵等等。小編精心收集了，供大家欣賞學習!

　　：Two Leprochans

　　Two leprochans have a bet. To settle their bet, they take it to a convent. Mother Suprior answers the door, and says "Oh my goodness! Its a leprochan!"

　　The firt Leprochan replies, "Take it easy sister, I only wanna ask you a qustion. Are there anynuns in your convent that are my size?"

　　"No, little man, there is no nuns in my convent that are your size."

　　"Alright then. Are there any nuns in all of Ireland, that are my size?"

　　"No, little man, there are no nuns in all of Ireland that are your size."

　　"Alright then. One more question: Are there any nuns in all of the world, that are my size?"

　　"No, little man, I am quite sure there are no nuns in all of the word that are your size!"

　　"Okay then." The second leprochan starts laughing his ass off. But through the laughter, he manages to say "You see, i told you fucked a penguin!"

　　：Ernesto the Caretaker

　　At dawn the telephone rings. "Hello, Senor? This is Ernesto the caretaker at your country house." "Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?" "Um, I am just calling to advise you, sir, that your parrot died."

　　"My parrot? Dead? The one that won the International competition?" "Si, that's the one." "Damn! That's a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird.

　　What did he die from?" "From eating rotten meat." "Rotten meat? Who the hell fed him rotten meat?" "Nobody, Senor. He ate the meat of one of the dead horse."

　　"Dead horse? What dead horse?" "The thoroughbred, Mr. Lucky. He died from all that work pulling the water cart." "Are you insane? What water cart?" "The one we used to put out the fire."

　　"Good Lord! What fire are you talking about, man?" "The one at your house! A candle fell and the curtains caught on fire." "What the.....!!! But there's electricity at the house!!! What was the candle for?"

　　"For the funeral." "WHAT BLOODY FUNERAL?!" "Your wife's... She showed up one night out of the blue and I thought she was a thief, so I hit her with your new Tiger Woods Nike Driver."

　　SILENCE...

　　"Ernesto! If you broke that driver YOU'RE FIRED!"

　　：What's A Man?

　　Eve, in the Garden of Eden, called out, "Lord, I have a problem."

　　And the Lord said, "What's the matter, Eve?"

　　"I know you created me and this beautiful garden. But I'm lonely-and I'm sick of eating apples."

　　"Well, in that case, " replied the Almighty, "I'll create a man for you."

　　"What's a man?"

　　"He's a flawed creature with aggressive tendencies, an enormous ego and an inability to listen. But he's big and fast and muscular. He'll be really food at fighting and kicking a ball and hunting animals-and not bad in the sack."

　　"Sounds great!" replied Eve.

　　"There's one condition," added the Lord. "You'll have to let him believe that I made him first."

　　：Dealing With A Juggler

　　Juggler, driving to his next performance, was stopped by the police. "What are those knives doing in your car?" asked the officer.

　　"I juggle them in my act."

　　"Oh yeah?" says the cop. "Let's see you do it." So the juggler starts tossing and juggling the knives.

　　A guy driving by sees this and says, "Wow, am I glad I quit drinking. Look at the test they're making you do now!"

　　：Scotsman and Baseball

　　A recent Scottish immigrant attends his first baseball game in his new country, and after a base hit he hears the fans roaring, "Run....run!"

　　The next batter connects heavily with the ball and the Scotsman stands up and roars with the crowd in his thick accent, "R-r-run ya bahstard, r-run will ya!"

　　A third batter slams a hit and again the Scotsman, obviously pleased with his knowledge of the game, screams, "R-r-run ya bahstard, r-r-run will ya!"

　　The next batter holds his swing at three and two and as the ump calls a walk. The Scotsman stands up yelling: "R-r-run ya Bahstard, r-r-run!"

　　All the surrounding fans chuckle quietly and he sits down confused. A friendly fan, sensing hisembarrassment whispers, "He doesn't have to run, he got four balls."

　　The Scotsman yells even louder, "Walk with pr-r-ride man! Walk with pr-r-ride!"