關於初中生簡單的英語笑話

　　冷笑話是近幾年才出現的新興語言現象，它以網路為主要的傳播方式。它是幽默的一種特殊的表現形式，主要流傳於網頁，微博，貼吧等。小編精心收集了，供大家欣賞學習!

　　：家醜不可外揚

　　Teacher of Physical Education: Have you ever seen mixed doubles, boys?

　　Nick: Yes, sir. Quite often. I saw it even last night.

　　Teacher: Please tell us something about it.

　　Nick: Oh, sorry, sir. My father always says, 'Domestic shame should not be published.'

　　混合雙打

　　體育老師：孩子們，你們見過男女混合雙打嗎?

　　尼克：見過，老師，經常見。就在昨天夜裡我還見過呢?

　　老師：你給大家講講當時的情形吧。

　　尼克：啊，對不起，老師。我爸爸常說，”家醜不可外揚。“

　　：A Smart Housewife 精明的家庭主婦

　　A smart housewife was told that there was a kind of stove which would only consume half of the coal she was burning. 一位精明的家庭主婦聽人說有一種爐子用起來可以比她現在用的爐子省一半的煤。 She was very excited, and said: "That'll be terrific! Since one stove can save half of the coal, if I buy two, no coal will be needed!"她聽了大為興奮，說：“那太好了!一個爐子可以省一半的煤，那麼如果我買兩個爐子的話，不就可以把煤全都省下來了嗎?”

　　：The New Baby 新寶寶

　　Mr. and Mrs. Taylor had a seven-year-old boy named Pat. Now Mrs. Taylor was expecting another child.

　　泰勒夫婦有一個七歲的兒子，名叫帕特。現在泰勒太太正懷著第二胎。

　　Pat had seen babies in other people's houses and had not liked them very much, so he was not delighted about the news that there was soon going to be one in his house too.

　　帕特在別人家看見過小寶寶，他不太喜歡他們，所以他對自己家裡也將有一個小寶寶的訊息感到不悅。

　　One evening Mr. and Mrs. Taylor were making plans for the baby's arrival. "This house won't be big enough for use all when the baby comes," said Mr. Taylor.

　　一天晚上，泰勒夫婦正在為這個嬰兒的降臨做安排。泰勒先生說：“有了小寶寶，我們的房子就太小，不夠住了。”

　　Pat came into the room just then and said, "What are you talking about?""We were saying that we'll have to move to another house now, because the new baby's coming," his mother answered.

　　帕特恰好在這個時候走進屋，他問：“你們在說什麼?”他的母親回答說：“我們在說我們得搬家了，因為小寶寶就要來了。”

　　"It's no use," said Pat hopelessly, "He'll follow us there."

　　“那有什麼用?”帕特絕望地說。“他會跟我們到那兒去的。”

　　：The Indian Who Could Foretell the Weather

　　The Indian Who Could Foretell the Weather

　　Two men were travelling in a very wild and lonely part of America. For days they had not even seen a house， only a few huts made of wood， or tents made of skins. Then one day they met an old Indian who earned his living by trapping animals for heir fur. They found that he knew their language and they had a little conversation with him. One of them asked him if he could tell them what the weather would be like within the next few days.

　　“Oh yes，”he said.“Rain is coming， and wind.Then there will be snow for two days， but after that there will be bright sunshine.”

　　“Is n't that wonderful?” said one man to his friend.“These old Indians know more of the secrets of Nature than we do with all our science. They have not been spoiled by civilization.” Then he turned to the old Indian.

　　“Tell me，”he said，“how you knew all that.”

　　The Indian replied，“I heard it on the radio.”

　　預報天氣的印第安人

　　有兩個人在美洲一個非常荒涼偏僻的地區旅行。好多天來，他們連所房子也沒看到，只看見幾個木棚子和皮帳篷。一天，他們遇到一個靠獵取獸皮謀生的印第安老人。他們發現他懂得他們的語言，就和他聊了一會兒。其中一個人問他，能否告知近幾天的天氣如何。

　　“哦，行啊”，他說。“就要下雨了，還要颳風。接著還得下兩天雪。這以後，就是大晴天了。”

　　“這不是太神奇了嗎?”一個旅行者對他的朋友說。“這些印第安老人深知大自然的祕密，比我們有科學知識的人知道的還多。他們並沒有被現代文明所迷惑。”接著他轉向印第安老人：

　　“請問，”他說，“你是怎麼知道這一切的呢?”

　　印第安老人答道：“我是從無線電裡聽來的。”