幽默英語笑話短文閱讀

　　笑是一種人類生存的能力，恰如醫師檢查身體各部位一樣，笑已成為衡量身體健康的一種正確有效的指示器。因此笑話從人類誕生以來就一直存在，從未消亡。小編整理了幽默英語笑話短文，歡迎閱讀!

　　幽默英語笑話短文：讓我的司機來回答

　　A famous scientist was on his way to yet another lecture when his chauffeur offered an idea. "Hey, boss, I've heard your speech many times, I bet I could deliver it and give you the night off.

　　一個著名科學家起程去再作一個講座。他的司機出了個主意：“老闆，您的講座我已聽了這麼多次了。我打賭我能作這個講座，讓您休息一個晚上。”

　　"sounds great," the scientist said.“

　　那太好了。”科學家說

　　When they got to the auditorium, the scientist put on the chauffeur's hat and settled in the back row. The chauffeur walked to the lectern and delivered the speech. Afterward he asked if there were any questions.

　　到了禮堂，科學家戴上了司機的帽子，坐在了後排。而司機走上了講臺，作講演。講演結束後，他問聽眾是否有什麼問題。

　　"Yes," said one processor.Then he launched into a highly technical question.

　　一個教授說有，並提出了一個高深的學術問題。

　　The chauffeur was panic-stricken for a moment but quickly recovered. " That's an easy one, " he replied, "so easy, I'm going to let my chauffeur answer it. "

　　司機一時被問懵了，但很快就鎮定下來。“這很容易，”他說，“太容易了，我要讓我的司機來回答。”

　　幽默英語笑話短文：富有挑戰性的搜尋

　　A woman answered her front door and found two boys holding a list. "Lady," one of them explained, "we are on a treasure hunt, and we need three grains of wheat, a pork-chop bone and a piece of used carbon paper to earn a dollar. "

　　一個婦人開啟前門，看到兩個男孩手裡拿著一張字條。“夫人，”其中一個解釋道，“我們在尋寶。我們需要三顆麥粒、一塊豬排骨、一張用過的複寫紙來掙一美元。”

　　"Wow," the woman replied, "who sent you on such a challenging hunt?"

　　“哦，”那位婦女回答道：“誰讓你們作這樣富有挑戰性的搜尋的?”

　　"Our baby-sitter's boyfriend. "

　　“是我們保姆的男朋友。”

　　幽默英語笑話短文：標題是什麼

　　When a man in Macon, Ga. , came upon a wild dog attacking a young boy, he quickly grabbed the animal and throttled it with his two hands. A reporter saw the incident, congratulated the man and told him the headline the following day would read, "Local Man Saves Child by Killing Vicious Animal. "

　　一位男子在喬治亞州的麥根城遇到一條狗在襲擊一個男孩。他敏捷地用兩手卡住了狗的脖子並掐死了它。一位記者目睹了這件事，向這位男子表示祝賀並說次日的新聞標題將是：“本地男子殺惡畜救孩童”。

　　The hero, however, told the journalist that he wasn't from Macon.

　　然而，這位英雄卻告訴記者他不是麥根人。

　　"Well, then," the reporter said, the headline will probably say, 'Georgia Man Saves Child by Killing Dog. '"

　　“那麼，”記者說，“標題可能為‘喬治亞男子殺狗救孩童’。

　　"Actually," the man said, "I'm from Connecticut."

　　實際上，”那男子道，“我是康涅狄格人。”

　　"In that case," the reporter said in a huff, "the headline will read ,'Yankee Kills Family Pet.'"

　　“這樣的話，”記者怒氣衝衝地說，“標題將是‘北方佬殺死家庭愛犬’。

　　幽默英語笑話短文：窗簾掛於何處

　　drill sergeant ordered two young female recruits to paint a room in the barracks, stressing that they not get any paint on their uniforms. Doubtful they could avoid ruining their clothes, the women locked the door, stripped naked and painted in nude. After about an hour they heard a knock at the door . "Who is it?" asked one of the women.

　　一位軍事訓練中士命令兩個年輕的女兵去油漆營房裡的一間屋子，並一再強調不得把漆弄到她們的制服上。她們很懷疑能不把衣服弄髒，所以就把門插上，脫了衣服，裸體在裡面油漆。大約一個小時過後，她們聽到有人敲門。“誰呀?”其中一女子問。

　　"Blind man, "came the reply.

　　“送窗簾的***與‘盲人’同音同詞----編者***，”來者答道。

　　Seeing no harm in letting a blind man in, they opened the door.

　　她們覺得讓一個盲人進來無妨，就開了門。

　　"Wow, what knockouts!" the man said with surprise. "Now, where do you want these blinds?"

　　“哇，多動人的人兒呀!”那男子驚奇地說，“現在你們想把窗簾掛在哪兒?”