簡單點的英文小笑話閱讀

　　笑話一般指短小、滑稽的故事,是一種民間口頭創作形式,在民間文化中以口口相傳的形式傳播。小編精心收集了簡單點的英文小笑話，供大家欣賞學習!

　　簡單點的英文小笑話：Who wants that jerk back? 誰願意讓那個混蛋回來

　　Marcella Vespa called her friend Winona about the disappearance of her husband, who had been missing for several days.

　　When asked by the police for a description of her husband, she replied, "He's over six feet tall, with beautiful, wavy blond hair. He's got a fetching***迷人的*** smile that shows a perfect set of teeth. He wears Brooks Brothers clothes and is muscular, weighting about two hundred pounds."

　　Winona waited until Marcella had finished her phone call, then asked what it was all about. "Your husband is over five feet and his hair is gray and almost gone. He grins like a polar bear and he's bought every darned tooth in his head. Marcela, that was an untrue description of your husband."

　　"Sure it was," Marcella replied, "But who wants that jerk back?"

　　瑪賽拉·維斯帕打電話告訴他朋友溫納她丈夫失蹤的事情，他已經失蹤好幾天了。

　　當被警察問道對她丈夫的描述時，她回答：“他有六英尺多高，漂亮的金色捲髮。他的笑容很動人，牙很齊。他穿著布魯克斯兄弟牌的衣服，很健壯，大約兩百磅重。”

　　溫納一直等到馬賽拉把電話打完，然後問他為什麼這麼說。“你丈夫有五英尺多高，灰色的頭髮而都快掉光了。他笑起來就像北極熊一樣，而且每顆牙都補過。馬賽拉，這個對你丈夫的描述不真實啊。”

　　“當然，”馬賽拉回答道，“但是誰願意讓那個混蛋回來呢?”

　　簡單點的英文小笑話：What are you going to do this evening?

　　Mrs. Jones was still cleaning the house when her husband came back from work. She was wearing dirty old clothes and no stockings, her hair was not tidy, she had dust on her face, and she looked dirty and tired. Her husband looked at her and said, "Is this what I come home to see after a hard day's work?"

　　Mrs. Jones's neighbor, Mrs. Black, was there. When she heard Mr. Jones' words, she quickly said good-bye and ran back to her house. Then she washed, brushed and combed her hair carefully, put on her pettiest stockings, painted her face, and waited for her husband to come home.

　　When he arrived, he was hot and tired. He walked slowly into the house, saw his wife and stopped. Then he shouted angrily, "and what are you going to do this evening?"

　　瓊斯太太正在家裡打掃房間，這時，她的丈夫下班回來了。瓊斯太太穿著又髒又舊的衣服，光著腳，頭髮亂糟糟的，臉上還滿是灰塵，她看起來髒兮兮的，一臉倦容。她丈夫看到這一切，說：“這就是我辛辛苦苦一天回家要看到的嗎?“

　　瓊斯太太的鄰居——布萊克太太當時也在場，她聽到瓊斯先生的話，立刻告辭，跑回家去。她洗臉漱口梳頭，穿上她最好的衣服和最漂亮的襪子，化好妝，等著她的丈夫回家。

　　布萊克先生回來時，又熱又累，他拖著腳步慢慢地走進屋子，看到妻子，他停住了腳步，生氣地大聲吼道：“你今天晚上要幹什麼去?

　　簡單點的英文小笑話：It was too late 為時已晚

　　Although I had never met him, I knew that my grandfather had been five feet, sixinches tall, while my stately grandmother stood five feet, eleven inches .

　　As a teen-ager leafing through***迅速翻閱*** old photographs with grandma, Ifinally realized how unusual they must have looked together.

　　"Grandma," I asked, "how could you have fallen in love with a man five inches shorter than you?"

　　She turned to me "Honey," she said, "we fell in love sitting down, and when I stood up, it was too late."

　　儘管我未見過祖父，不過我知道他身高只有五英尺六英寸，而我高貴典雅的祖母身高卻有五英尺十一英寸。

　　我十幾歲的時候，和祖母一起翻看著老照片，我覺得他們在一起看起來很彆扭。

　　“奶奶，”我問道，“你怎麼會愛上一個比你矮五英寸的人呢?”

　　她轉過臉來看著我。“寶貝，”她說，“我們是坐著相愛的。當我站起來的時候，已經太晚了。”

　　簡單點的英文小笑話：A Nervous Wife 神經緊張的妻子

　　A man fell ill. His wife called a doctor in for him.

　　While the doctor was looking over the man, his wife kept fussing***煩躁，發牢騷*** andjabbering***快而含糊地說*** all the time. The doctor told her: "Your husband must get absolute rest and quiet." Then he left some sleeping pills.

　　The man's wife asked, "When do I dive them to my husband?" The doctor replied, "No, they are not for him. They are for you. You need them."

　　有個人生病了。他的妻子請了一位醫生來給他治病。

　　醫生在給他治療的時候，他的妻子一直大驚小怪，神神叨叨地緊張不安。醫生對她說：“你的丈夫必須絕對休息和保持安靜。” 然後他就留下了一些***。

　　她問醫生：“什麼時候給我丈夫吃這些藥呀!”醫生回答說：“不用，這些藥不是給他吃的，是給你吃的，你需要。”

　　簡單點的英文小笑話：Birthday presents 生日禮物

　　A woman had bought birthday presents for her husband.

　　She was so excited and anxious to tell him. She said, "I've bought two presents for your birthday, dear. I would tell you now because I can't wait until that day. One present is a mat to put in front of my dressing table. Another one is a bronze statuette***小雕像*** for the drawing room mantelpiece." And then she added: "Now me?"

　　Her husband thought for a while and then replied: "I'd better get you a new razor and some ties, so that we may exchange presents with each other."

　　有個女人給她的丈夫買了生日禮物。

　　她很激動，並且急於要告訴她的丈夫。她說：“親愛的，我買了兩樣東西給你做生日禮物。我現在就要告訴你，因為我等不得到那一天才說。一件禮物是一個地墊，可以放在我的梳妝檯前。另一件是一個青銅的小雕像，可以放在客廳的壁爐架上”她還說：“好啦，你準備給我買什麼呢?”

　　她的丈夫想了一會就說：“我最好是給你買一個刮鬍刀和幾條領帶。這樣我們就可以互相交換禮物了。”