關於最搞笑的英語笑話大全

　　前蘇聯著名作家高爾基說過,“哪裡有人,哪裡就有笑聲。”從古到今,笑話是人們生活中不可缺少的“調劑品”。本文是關於最搞笑的英語笑話，希望對大家有幫助!

　　關於最搞笑的英語笑話：The Interview

　　Three blondes were all vying for the last available position on the local police force. The detective conducting the interview looked at the three of them and said, "So you all want to be a cop, eh?"

　　The blondes all nodded. The detective got up, opened a file drawer and pulled out a filefolder. Sitting back down, he opened it up and withdrew a photograph, and said, "To be a detect, you have to be able to DETECT. You must be able to notice things such as distinguishing features and oddities such as scars, etc." So saying, he stuck the photo in the face of the first blonde and withdrew it after about 2 seconds. "Now, he said, "Did you notice any distinguishing features about this man?"

　　The blonde immediately said, "Yes, I did. He only has one eye!"

　　The detective shook his head and said, "Of COURSE he only has one eye in this picture! It's a PROFILE of his face! You're dismissed!"

　　The first blonde hung her head and walked out of the office. The detective then turned to the second blonde, stuck the photo in her face for two seconds, pulled it back and said, "What about you? Notice anything unusual or outstanding about this man?"

　　The blonde immediately shot back, "Yep! He only has one ear!"

　　The detective put his head in his hand and exclaimed, "Didn't you hear what I just said to the other lady? This is a PROFILE of the man's face! Of COURSE you can only see one ear!! You're excused, too! You'd never make a good detective!"

　　The second blonde sheepishly walked out of the office.

　　The detective turn his attention to the last blonde and said, "This is probably a waste of time, but....". He flashed the photo in her face for a couple of seconds and withdrew it, saying, "Alright. Did YOU notice anything distinguishing or unusual about this man?"

　　The blonde said, "Yes, I did. This man wears contact lenses."

　　The detective frowned, took another look at the picture and began looking at some of the papers in the folder. He looked up at the blonde with a puzzled expression and said, "You're absolutely right! His bio says he wears contacts! How in the world could tell that by looking at this picture?"

　　The blonde rolled her eyes and said, "DUH! He has only one eye and one ear, he certainly CAN'T WEAR GLASSES!"

　　關於最搞笑的英語笑話：What's So Funny?

　　A blonde had just gotten a new sports car and was out for a drive when she accidentallycut off a truck driver. He motioned for her to pull over. When she did, he got out of his truck and pulled a piece of chalk from his pocket. He drew a circle on the side of the road and gruffly commanded to the blonde, "Stand in that circle and DON'T MOVE!"

　　He then went to her car and cut up her leather seats. When he turned around she had a slight grin on her face, so he said, "Oh you think that's funny? Watch this!" He gets a baseball bat out of his truck and breaks every window in her car. When he turns and looks at her she has a smile on her face. He is getting really mad. He gets his knife back out and slices all her tires.

　　Now she's laughing. The truck driver is really starting to lose it. He goes back to his truck and gets a can of gas, pours it on her car and sets it on fire. He turns around and she is laughing so hard she is about to fall down. "What's so funny?" the truck driver asked the blonde. She replied, "Every time you weren't looking, I stepped outside the circle."

　　關於最搞笑的英語笑話：Car Crash

　　A cop was driving down a country road when he saw a car in the ditch. He got out of his car to see if anyone was in the car. A blonde popped her head out the window and said "Thank god officer! I got in an accident!" The officer replied with "Well I can see that! Are you okay?" The blonde looked forward and said "Well yeah... I think so." Then the officer looked around and said "Miss.... your car looks like an elephant stepped on it. How did you crash?" The blonde looked at him and said "It was so strange. I was driving down the road and out of nowhere a tree jumped infront of me, so I swerved to the other side and another tree was in the way, so I swerved again, but another one was there again, so one last time I swerved to the other side, but the damn tree got me, and caused me to go in this ditch!" The officer started to laugh hard. "Whats so funny?" The blonde asked. The officer took a second to catch his breath then said "Miss, theres no trees on this road for miles ahead. That was your car air freshner swinging back and forth!"

　　關於最搞笑的英語笑話：The 100$ Dollar Bill

　　Santa Vlause, the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny, a smart blonde and a dumb blonde were all walking down the street when they all spotted a 100$ dollar bill.

　　Who do you think got it?

　　No one because the first four dont exist and the dumb blonde thought it was a gum wrapper.

　　關於最搞笑的英語笑話：Safety First

　　Q:What is a blondes idea of safe sex?? A:Lock the car doors