英語精選幽默小故事

　　“哪裡有人,哪裡就有笑聲。”從古到今,笑話是人們生活中不可缺少的“調劑品”。笑話使人們在刻板的生活中感到一絲快意和放鬆，在人們的日常生活中起著重要調劑作用。下面小編為大家帶來，歡迎大家閱讀!

　　：優缺點

　　"This house," said the real-estate salesman, "has both its good points and bad points. To show you I'm honest, I'm goint to tell you about the disadvantage - there is a chemical plant one block south and a slaughterhouse one block north."

　　"What are the advantages?" inquired the prospective buyer.

　　"The good thing about it," said the agent, "is that you can always tell which way the wind is blowing."

　　“這幢房子，”房地產推銷商說，“既有優點也有缺點。為了說明我是誠實的，我將告訴你們它的缺點：往南面一個街區是一家化工廠，往北面一個街區是一家屠宰場。”

　　“那麼它的長處呢?”預備購買房子的人問道。

　　“它的好處，”代理商說道，“就是，你總能分清風是從哪邊吹過來的。”

　　：偉大的獵手

　　A small village was troubled by a man-eating lion. So its leaders sent a message to the great hunter, Jonesie, to come and kill the beast.

　　For several nights the hunter lay in wait for the lion, but it never appeared. Finally, he told the village chief to kill a cow and give him its hide. Draping***披蓋*** the skin over his shoulders, he went to the pasture to wait for the lion.

　　In the middle of the night, the villagers woke to the sound of blood-curdling***凝結***shrieks***尖叫*** coming from the pasture. As they carefully approached, they saw the hunter on the ground, groaning in pain. There was no sign of the lion.

　　What happened, Jonesie? Where is the lion? asked the chief.

　　Forget the damn lion! he howled. Which one of you idiots let the bull loose?

　　有個小村莊正為一隻吃人的獅子而煩惱。於是，村長派人去請偉大的獵手Jonesie來殺死這隻野獸。

　　獵手躺著等了幾個晚上，但獅子一直沒有出現。最後，他要求村長殺只牛然後把頭皮給他。把牛皮披在身上後，獵人到草原上去等獅子。

　　半夜，村民被從草原傳來的聲嘶力竭的尖叫聲驚醒。他們小心地靠近後，看到獵手正躺在草地上痛苦地呻吟。沒有獅子出沒的蛛絲馬跡。

　　Jonesie，怎麼了?獅子在哪?村長問。

　　哪有獅子!獵人怒吼道，哪個傻瓜把公牛放出來了?

　　：讓你兒子靜下來

　　In the supermarket was a man pushing a cart which contained a screaming, bellowing***吼叫*** baby. The gentleman kept repeating softly, "Don't get excited, Albert; don't scream, Albert; don't yell, Albert; keep calm, Albert."

　　A woman standing next to him said, "You certainly are to be commended***稱讚，表揚*** for trying to soothe***安慰*** your son, Albert."

　　The man looked at her and said, "Lady, I'm Albert."

　　一個人在超市裡推著購物車，一個小孩子在車裡不停的大吵大叫。推車的男人一直溫柔地念叨著：”別激動，阿爾伯特，別嚷出來，阿爾伯特，別叫，阿爾伯特，冷靜，阿爾伯特。"

　　站在他旁邊的一位女士對他說道：“您能這樣安慰您的兒子阿爾伯特真的讓我們感到很不容易。”

　　男人看著那位女士說：“太太，我是阿爾伯特。