幽默英文笑話精選

　　“哪裡有人,哪裡就有笑聲。”從古到今,笑話是人們生活中不可缺少的“調劑品”。笑話使人們在刻板的生活中感到一絲快意和放鬆，在人們的日常生活中起著重要調劑作用。下面小編為大家帶來，歡迎大家閱讀!

　　1：

　　A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital. His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill." "I am afraid that he is dead."said the doctor,

　　Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I'm not dead. I'm still alive." "Be quiet, "said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you!"

　　一個男人在街上被計程車撞倒送進了醫院.他的妻子站在他的床前對醫生說:"我想他傷得很厲害."醫生說:"我怕他已經死了."聽到醫生的話,這個男人轉動著頭說:"我沒死,我還活著."妻子說:"安靜,醫生比你懂得多."

　　2：

　　The bus is very crowded.Aman tries to get on,but no one gives way to him.

　　"Hey,let me get on the bus."the man shouts.

　　"It's too crowded.You'd better take the next bus."a passenger says to him.

　　"But you can't go withou me.I'm the driver."the man says.

　　公共汽車上很擁擠.一位男士想上車,但是沒有人給他讓路.

　　"喂,讓我上車!"那位男士喊道.

　　"車太擠了,你最好坐下一輛"車上的一位乘客對他說.

　　"但是沒有我你們走不了.我是司機!"那位男士說道.

　　3：

　　The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate.

　　The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?"

　　"In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy.

　　由於客人在吃蘋果餡餅時，家裡沒有乳酪了，於是女主人向大家表示歉意。這家的小男孩悄悄地離開了屋子。過了一會兒，他拿著一片乳酪回到房間，把乳酪放在客人的盤子裡。

　　客人微笑著把乳酪放進嘴裡說：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你媽媽的好。你在哪裡找到的乳酪?”

　　“在捕鼠夾上，先生。”那小男孩說。

　　4：

　　Teacher: Now, Jonathan, if I gave you three rabbits and then the next day I gave you five rabbits, how many rabbits would you have?

　　Jonathan: Nine, sir.

　　Teacher: Nine?

　　Jonathan: I've got one already, sir.

　　老師：好，喬納森，假如我給你三隻兔子，第二天我又給你五隻，你一共有多少隻兔子?

　　喬納森：一共有九隻，先生。

　　老師：九隻?

　　喬納森：先生，我本來就有一隻。