幽默英文小笑話

　　笑話作為一種城市化的民間口頭創作體裁,是一種重要的交際手段。在俄羅斯文化中,笑話一直都具有無法替代的特殊意義。下面是小編帶來的，歡迎閱讀!

　　篇一

　　Problem with Gas放屁的問題

　　A little old lady goes to the doctor ... and says, "Doctor, I have this problem with gas, but it doesn't really bother me too much. They never smell and are always silent.

　　有位小老太太去看醫生：“醫生，我有愛放屁的毛病。其實也不是大問題，只是我放屁不臭而且沒聲音。

　　As a matter of fact, I've farted at least 20 times since I've been here in your office. You didn't know I was farting because they don't smell and are silent."

　　事實上，我在這裡已經放了20多個屁，但是你並不知道對吧，因為我的屁不臭，而且還沒聲音。”

　　The doctor says, "I see. Here's a prescription. Take these pills 3 times a day for seven days and come back to see me next week."

　　醫生說：“好的，我明白了。吃這個藥片，一天三次連續吃七天，下星期你再來。”

　　The next week the lady goes back. "Doctor," she says, "I don't know what the hell you gave me, but now my farts ... although still silent... stink terribly."

　　一星期後老太太來了，“醫生，你到底給的我什麼藥，現在我放屁還是沒聲音，但是怎麼這麼臭!”

　　The doctor says, "Good! Now that we've cleared up your sinuses, let's start working on your hearing."

　　醫生說：“太好了!你的嗅覺正常了，現在開始治聽覺。”

　　篇二

　　Psychiatrist 精神病醫生

　　Jerry went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I've got trouble.

　　傑瑞去看精神病醫生。“醫生，我有些不對勁。

　　Every time I get into bed, I think there's somebody under it. I'm going crazy!" Just put yourself in my hands for one year," said the shrink. "Come to me three times a week, and I'll cure your fears." How much do you charge?" A hundred dollars per visit." I'll sleep on it," said Jerry.

　　每次睡覺的時候，我都感覺有人在床下。我要瘋了!”“給我一年時間，”醫生說，“每週來三次，我會治好你。”“費用是多少呢?”“每次一百美元。”“我會認真考慮的。”傑瑞答道。

　　Six months later the doctor met Jerry on the street. "Why didn't you ever come to see me again?" asked the psychiatrist.

　　六個月後醫生和傑瑞在街上相遇了，“為什麼你再也沒來呢?”醫生問。

　　For a hundred bucks a visit? The bartender cured me for $10." "Is that so! How?" He told me to cut the legs off the bed!" Ain't nobody under there now!!!

　　“一次一百塊錢嗎?有個酒吧服務生收了十塊錢就把我治好了。”“真的?他怎麼做到的?”“他讓我把床腿鋸掉。現在那沒人了!”

　　篇三

　　Space mountain太空山

　　Our seven - year - old daughter was thrilled when we took her to disney world for the first time and headed straight for space mountain

　　我們第一次帶我們七歲的女兒去迪斯尼樂園並直接去太空山時，她十分激動。

　　I worried that the roller coaster would be too scary for her , but she insisted

　　我擔心過山車對她來說太刺激，她卻堅持要玩。

　　To her delight, we rode it twice.

　　使她高興的是，我們玩了兩次。

　　The next year we returned to the Magic Kingdom and my daughter, now eight, again dragged me to Space Mountain.

　　第二年我們帶著八歲的她重返神奇王國時，她又拉我們去太空山。

　　然而這次，當我們站線上外時，我看到她很冷靜認真地看完關於過山車速度的遊客警告標誌牌，說：“爸爸，我不想玩這個了”。我問她為什麼去年敢玩，今年反而害怕了，她說：“今年，我識字了。”