英文幽默故事帶翻譯

　　“哪裡有人,哪裡就有笑聲。”從古到今,笑話是人們生活中不可缺少的“調劑品”。笑話使人們在刻板的生活中感到一絲快意和放鬆，在人們的日常生活中起著重要調劑作用。下面小編為大家帶來，歡迎大家閱讀!

　　1：

　　George comes from school on the first of September.

　　"George, how did you like your new teacher?" asked his mother.

　　"I didn't like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too....."

　　9月1日， 喬治放學回到家裡。

　　"喬治，你喜歡你們的新老師嗎?" 媽媽問。

　　"媽媽，我不喜歡，因為她說3加3得6, 可後來又說2加4也得6。"

　　2：

　　Once in a physics examination, Nick finished the first question very soon, while his classmates were thinking it hard.

　　The question was: When it thunders why do we see the lighting first, then hear the thunderrolls?

　　Nick's answer: Because our eyes are before ears.

　　在一次物理考試時，當同學們都還在苦思冥想時，尼克很快就答好了第一個問題。

　　這個問題是：為什麼在打雷時，我們總是先看到閃電後聽到雷聲?

　　尼克的回答是：因為眼睛在前，耳朵在後。

　　3：

　　A man was driving at 130 miles an hour when a policeman overtook him.

　　"Was I driving too fast,officer?"the man asked.

　　"NO,"the policeman answered,"You were flying too slow."

　　一個男人正在以130英里每小時的速度行駛，當一個警察看見他時，

　　他問：“我開的太快了嗎?警官。”

　　“不”，警察說，“你飛的太慢了。”

　　4：

　　"Daddy, can I learn to play the violin?" young Sarah asked her father. She was always asking for things and her father was not very pleased.

　　"You cost me a lot of money, Sarah," he said. "First you wanted to learn horse riding, then dancing, then swimming. Now it's the violin.

　　"I'll play every day, Daddy." Sarah said. "I'll try very hard.

　　"All right," her father said. "This is what I'll do. I'll pay for you to have lessons for six weeks. At the end of six weeks you must play something for me. If you play well, you can have more lessons. If you play badly, I will stop the lessons."

　　"0. K. Daddy," Sarah said. "That is fair.

　　He soon found a good violin teacher and Sarah began her lessons. The teacher was very expensive, but her father kept his promise.

　　The six weeks passed quickly. The time came for Sarah to play for her father.

　　She went to the living room and said, "I'm ready to play for you, Daddy.

　　"Fine, Sarah," her father said. "Begin.

　　She began to play. She played very badly. She made a terrible noise.

　　Her father had one of his friends with him, and the friend put his hands over his ears.

　　When Sarah finished, her father said, "Well done, Sarah. You can have more lessons."

　　Sarah ran happily out of the room. Her father's friend turned to him. "You've spent a lot of money, but she still plays very badly. he said.

　　"Well, that's true," her father said. "But since she started learning the violin I've been able to buy five apartments in this build very cheaply. In another six weeks I'll own the whole building!"

　　“爸爸,我能學拉小提琴嗎?”小莎拉問她的父親.她總是要東西,因此她爸爸很不高興.

　　“你花了我很多錢,莎拉,”他說,“開始你想學騎馬,然後想學跳舞,然後是游泳.現在又想學拉小提琴.”

　　“我會每天都拉的,爸爸,”莎拉說,“我會認真練的.”

　　“好吧,”她爸爸說.“下面是我要做的：我會為你付六個星期的小提琴課的錢,六個星期後你必須拉首曲子給我聽.如果你拉得很好,你可以繼續上小提琴課,要是你拉得很差,你就不要再學了.”

　　“行.爸爸,”莎拉說,“這很公平.”

　　他很快就找到了一個好的小提琴老師,莎拉就開始學拉提琴了.儘管學費很高,但她爸爸遵守了諾言.

　　六個星期很快就過去了.該莎拉拉提琴給爸爸聽了.

　　她走進起居室說：“我準備好拉提琴給你聽了.”

　　“好哇,莎拉,”她爸爸說.“開始吧.”

　　她開始拉了.她拉得很差,發出了可怕的嗓音.她爸爸身旁有位朋友,朋友用手捂著耳朵.

　　莎拉拉完一曲,她父親說：“拉得好,莎拉.你可以繼續學琴了.”

　　莎拉高興地跑出門去.她父親的朋友對他說：“你已經花了不少錢了,但她還是拉得很差.”

　　“噢,的確如此,”她爸爸說,“但自從她開始學小提琴,我就可以很便宜地買下這幢樓的五個公寓.再過六週,我就可以擁有整幢樓啦!”