大學英語笑話短文帶翻譯

　　笑話使人們在刻板的生活中感到一絲快意和放鬆。與此同時,笑話也是人們反對極權和專制制度的有力武器。小編整理了，歡迎閱讀!

　　：《律師、寶馬和胳膊》

　　一個律師開啟他的寶馬車門，突然一輛汽車駛過來把門撞飛了，警察趕到現場，律師正痛苦地抱怨毀壞了他心愛的寶馬。

　　“警察同志，看看他們把我的車弄的!!!”律師哀怨地說。

　　“你們律師真是物質至上，我很不舒服!”警察反駁說，“你這麼關心你可惡的寶馬，你可能沒有注意到你的左胳膊也沒了。”

　　律師終於注意到了血淋淋的左肩膀，“天哪，我的勞力士手錶在哪兒?”

　　A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW.

　　"Officer, look what they've done to my Beeeemer!!!", he whined.

　　"You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick!!!" retorted the officer, "You're so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off!!!"

　　：《狗住旅店》

　　一個人給一家他計劃在假期裡停留的小旅館寫了封信，“我非常希望帶著我的狗，它很乾淨很有教養，你能允許它和我睡一間屋子嗎?”

　　旅館主人立即回了封信，“我經營旅館很多年了，狗從沒偷過毛巾，床單， 餐具，或者牆上的畫。我也從沒有在半夜因為狗喝醉胡鬧而趕走它，狗也從不不付帳就跑掉。實際上我們非常歡迎您的狗來我們旅館，如果它為您擔保，也歡迎您來。

　　A man wrote a letter to a small hotel he planned to visit on his vacation: "I would very much like to bring my dog with me. He is well-groomed and very well behaved. Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in my room with me at night?"

　　An immediate reply came from the hotel owner, who said, "I've been operating this hotel for many years. In all that time, I've never had a dog steal towels, bedclothes, silverware or pictures off the walls. I've never had to evict a dog in the middle of the night for being drunk and disorderly. And I've never had a dog run out on a hotel bill. Yes, indeed, your dog is welcome at my hotel. And, if your dog will vouch for you, you're welcome to stay here, too."

　　：一個盲人

　　A blind man was waiting to cross the road when his guide dog cocked its leg, then urinated on its owner.

　　Calmly, the blind man reached into his pocket and took out a biscuit for the dog. A passerby who'd seen everything xiaogushi8 remarked：“That's extremely tolerant of you, especially after what he just did.”

　　“Not really,” came the reply. “I'm just finding out where his mouth is, so I can kick him in the nuts.”

　　一個盲人領著一隻導盲犬站在十字路口處等著過馬路。就在這個時候，導盲犬把腿一抬，開始往主人身上撒尿。

　　這個盲人十分平靜地從口袋裡拿出了一塊餅乾給狗吃。一個過路人剛好看到了這一切，很不解地說：“你的脾氣真好，尤其是那隻狗都做了這樣的事情，你還給它餅乾吃。”

　　“事實並非如此。”盲人回答說，“我只是想弄清楚它的嘴在哪裡，這樣一來，我就可以踢它的屁股了。”