關於超級好笑的英語笑話

　　笑話使人們在刻板的生活中感到一絲快意和放鬆。與此同時,笑話也是人們反對極權和專制制度的有力武器。小編精心收集了，供大家欣賞學習!

　　篇1

　　FOLLOW THE INSTRUCTIONS CAREFULLY

　　Miss Bea was in her eighties, and much admired for her sweetness and kindness to all. Thepastor came to call on her one afternoon early in the spring, and she welcomed him into her Victorian parlour. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared a little tea.

　　As he sat facing her old pump organ, the young minister noticed a cut-glas bowl sitting on top of it, filled with water. In the water floated, of all things, a condom. Imagine his shock and surprise. Imagine his curiosity! Surely Miss Bea had flipped or something! But he certainly couldn't mention the strange sight in her parlour.

　　When she returned with tea and cookies, they began to chat. The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him, and he could resist no longer. "Miss Bea", he said, gesturing toward the bowl, " I wonder if you would tell me about this"

　　"Oh, yes", she replied, " Isn't it wonderful? I was walking downtown last fall and I found this little package. It said to put it on the organ and keep it wet, and it would prevent disease. And you know, I think it's working! I haven't had a cold all winter!"

　　篇2

　　SCENE OF THE ACCIDENT

　　A rabbi and a priest get into a car accident and it's a bad one. Both cars are totallydemolished, but, amazingly, neither of the clerics is hurt. After they crawl out of their cars, the rabbi sees the priest's collar and says, "So you're a priest. I'm a rabbi. Just look at our cars. There's nothing left, but we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God. God must have meant that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace the rest of our days."

　　The priest replies, "I agree with you completely. This must be a sign from God."

　　The rabbi continues, "And look at this. Here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of Morgen David wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune."

　　Then he hands the bottle to the priest. The priest agrees, takes a few big swigs, and hands the bottle back to the rabbi. The rabbi takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap on, and hands it back to the priest.

　　The priest asks, "Aren't you having any?"

　　The rabbi replies, "No...I think I'll wait for the police."

　　篇3

　　STROLLING DOWN THE STREET ONE DAY

　　Two old Jewish men are strolling down the street one day when they happen to walk by a Catholic church. They see a big sign posted that says, "Covert to Catholicism and get $10."

　　One of the Jewish men stops walking and stares at the sign. His friend turns to him and says, "Murray, what's going on?"

　　"Abe," replies Murray, "I'm thinking of doing it."

　　Abe says, "What are you, crazy?"

　　Murray thinks for a minute and says, "Abe, I'm going to do it."

　　With that, Murray strides purposefully into the church and comes out twenty minutes later with his head bowed. "So," asks Abe, "did you get your ten dollars?"

　　Murray looks up at him and says, "Is that all you people think of?"

　　篇4

　　A PARTICULARLY HARD QUESTION

　　A nun dies and goes to heaven. St. Peter says to her, "I'm sure you've lead a virtuous life, Sister, but before I can let you into heaven, you must answer one question. What," asks St. Peter,"were Eve's first words when she saw Adam?"

　　"Boy," says the nun, "that's a hard one."

　　"That's right!" says St. Peter, and the pearly gates open wide