英語爆笑短笑話帶翻譯

　　大腦就像宇宙一樣深奧，而大腦對笑話最敏感。不管聽哪種笑話,大腦中央前額皮層名為額葉的區域都很活躍,額葉與獲得獎賞的愉快感有關。下面是小編帶來的，歡迎閱讀!

　　篇一

　　如何不被查酒駕 How was found drunk driving

　　Dear miss know-it-all, how can it go out for an evening of drinking and not tick getting a DUI?

　　親愛的百事通，你知道怎麼在晚上喝酒還不屬於酒後駕車嗎?

　　Go to a ballpark.

　　去棒球場。

　　篇二

　　A Materialistic Lawyer 唯物主義的律師

　　A lawyer opened the door of his BMW,

　　有一位律師開啟他的 BMW 座車車門，

　　when suddenly a car came along and hit the door,ripping it off completely.

　　當時剛好有一輛車子突然駛來撞上車門，而且把它完全給扯了下來。

　　When the police arrived at the scene,the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage tohis precious BMW.

　　當警察到達現場的時候，這名律師正在對他的昂貴BMW座車所受到的損害，痛苦地抱怨不已。他滿腹牢騷的向警察嘀咕說：

　　"Officer,look what they've done to my BMW",he whined.

　　“警官，你瞧瞧他們對我的 BMW所幹的好事啦!”

　　"You lawyers are so materialistic,you make me sick!!!"retorted the officer,

　　這名警官卻回嘴說，“ 你們這些律師實在太唯物主義了，你真讓我覺得噁心!”

　　"You're so worried about your stuid BMW that you didn't even notice that your left arm wasripped off!!!"

　　“你竟然這麼擔心你一的笨BMW車子，卻沒注意到你的左手臂被扯斷了”

　　"Oh my God!" replied the lawyer,finally noticing the bloody left shoulder where his arm oncewas,"Where's my Rolex?!"

　　這名律師最後注意到流著血的左肩膀，也就是他的手臂原先所在之處，他回答說：“哦，我的天哪!我的勞動士手錶在哪裡呀?”

　　篇三

　　Beef Sandwich 牛肉三明治

　　A man went into a deli shop and took a seat at the lunch counter.

　　有一名男子走近一家熟食店，在吃午餐的櫃檯旁選了一個位置。

　　"Give me corned beef sandwich,"he ordered.

　　他點餐時說：“給我來個醃牛肉三明治。”

　　"Corned beef sandwich is not on the menu,but I can give you a sandwich with corned beef in it,like our midnight Special."

　　"選單上沒有醃牛肉三 明治，但是我可以給你一個裡面有醃牛肉的三明治，像是我們的午夜特餐。”

　　"What's a Midnight Special?"

　　“午夜特餐是什麼?”

　　"A triple decker with corned beef,tongue,bologna,tomato,lettuce,onion,pockle andmayonnaise,on toasted raisin bread."

　　“有三層，裡面是醃牛肉、牛舌、薰香腸、蕃茄、萵苣、 洋蔥、醃泡菜，還有美乃滋的三層烤葡萄乾麵包。…

　　"Could you just place a piece of corned beef between two slices of white bread and serve it tome on a plate?"

　　"你可不可以在兩片白麵包中間只放一片醃牛肉，裝在一個盤子上端給我吃?”

　　"Why,sure!"Then,turning to the sandwich man ,

　　“哦，當然可以。啦!”接著他就轉向製作三明治的人，

　　he sang out:"One Midnighet Special.Make it one deck,hold thetongue,bolgna,tomato,lettuce,onion,pickle and mayonnaise,and make the raisin breadwhite,untoasted!"

　　大聲喊出：“一個午夜特餐。把它做一層就好，裡面不要加牛著、薰香腸、蕃茄、萵苣、洋蔥、醃泡菜和美乃滋，把葡萄乾麵包做成白麵包，不要烤!”

　　篇四

　　接聽熨斗 Answer the Iron

　　A guy walks into his office ,and both of his ears are all bandaged up.

　　有一個人走進他的辦公室，他的兩個耳朵都包紮了繃帶。

　　The boss says,"What happened to your ears?"

　　老闆說：“你的耳朵怎麼啦?”

　　He says,"Yesterday I was ironing a shirt when the phone rang!I accidentally answered the iron.

　　他說：“昨天電話響的時候，我正在用熨斗燙襯衫。我竟然無意閭就把熨斗拿來接聽。

　　The boss says,"Well,that expains one ear,but what happened to your other ear?"

　　老闆說：“ 嗯，好吧，那解釋了一個耳朵，可是你的另一個耳朵又是怎麼一回事呀?”

　　He says,"Well,jeez,I had to call the doctor!"

　　他說：“嗯，哎呀!我得打電給醫生嘛!”

　　篇五

　　一場特殊的足球比賽

　　Mike was late for school. He said to his teacher, Mr. Black, "Excuse me for my coming late, sir. I watched a football match in my dream.""Why did it make you late?" inquired the teacher."Because neither team could win the game, so it lasted a long time." replied Mike.

　　麥克上學遲到了。他對布萊克老師說：“對不起，老師，今天早上我遲到了。因為我在夢裡觀看了一場球賽。”“為什麼它會讓你遲到呢?”老師問道。“因為這兩個隊都沒有能力獲勝，所以就持續的時間長了。”麥克回答說。