適合學習英語口語的笑話

　　笑話作為廣大人民群眾喜聞樂見的文學樣式,自誕生之日起就憑藉其辛辣獨到的諷刺手法,誇張變形的藝術構思以及背反邏輯的情節設想等語體特點而得到作家青睞。下面是小編帶來的適合學習英語口語的笑話，歡迎閱讀!

　　篇一

　　New business was opening 開業大吉

　　A new business was opening ... and one of the owner's friends wanted to send him flowers for the occasion.

　　新公司開業了，開業典禮上，經理的一個朋友送他一個花籃。

　　They arrived at the new business site and the owner read the card,.... "Rest in Peace."

　　經理高聲朗讀著花籃上的賀卡：“安息吧。”

　　The owner was angry and called the florist to complain.

　　經理生氣極了，打電話找來賣花的人要質問他是怎麼回事。

　　After he had told the florist of the obvious mistake and how angry he was, the florist replied, "Sir, I'm really sorry for the mistake, but rather than getting angry, you should imagine this: somewhere, there is a funeral taking place today, and they have flowers with a note saying, ..

　　花店老闆來了，看到這個明顯的錯誤和經理氣急敗壞的樣子，他說：“我真得很抱歉。但是與其這麼生氣，你倒不如這樣想：有另外一個地方，今天要舉辦一個葬禮，他們將會收到一個花籃，

　　'Congratulations on your new location!'"

　　留言條上寫著‘恭喜你有了新的歸屬!’”

　　篇二

　　Nobody available 誰都沒空

　　I was going to bed the other night when my wife told me that I had left the light on in the shed. She could see from the bedroom window.

　　那天晚上，我剛要上床睡覺，妻子告訴我說我沒有關儲藏室的燈，她從臥室的窗戶看見那還亮著。

　　As I looked for myself, I saw that there were people in the shed taking things. I phoned the police, but they told me that no one was in this area to help at this time, but they would send someone over as soon as they were available.

　　我也透過窗戶朝那邊看，發現有幾個人正在偷東西。我趕忙報警，但是警察局說現在沒有警察在我家的這片位置，他們一有了人手就馬上派過來。

　　I said OK, hung up, and waited one minute, then phoned the police back. "Hello. I just called you a minute ago because there were people in my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now cause I've shot them all."

　　我說沒問題，然後掛了電話，等了一分鐘，又給他們打過去：“警察局嗎，一分鐘以前我打過電話來，我告訴你說有人正在我家的儲藏室偷東西。但是現在沒事了，因為我剛剛開槍把他們都打死了。”

　　Within five minutes there were half a dozen police cars in the area, an Armed Response unit, the works. Of course, they caught the burglars red-handed. One of the officers said: "I thought you said that you'd shot them!" I replied with "I thought you said there was nobody available!"

　　隨後，五分鐘之內有六輛警車來到了我家，警報也響了。當然，他們當場抓住了竊賊。有個警察對我說：“我記得你說你把他們都打死了。”我回答道：“我記得你說現在誰都沒空。”

　　篇三

　　No Problem 沒問題

　　A bald man took a seat in a beauty shop.

　　一個禿頭的男人坐在理髮店裡。

　　"How can I help you?" asked the stylist. "I went for a hair transplant," the guy explained, "but I couldn't stand the pain.

　　髮型師問：“有什麼可以幫你嗎?”那個人解釋說：“我本來要去做頭髮移植，但實在太疼了。

　　If you can make my hair look like yours without causing me any discomfort, I'll pay you $5,000."

　　如果你能夠讓我的頭髮看起來像你的一樣，而且沒有任何痛苦，我將付給你5000美元。”

　　"No problem," said the stylist, and he quickly shaved his head.

　　“沒問題，”髮型師說，然後他很快幫自己剃了個光頭。

　　篇四

　　Obituary 死亡訃告

　　The phone rang in the obituary department of the local newspaper. "How much does it cost to have an obituaryprinted"? asked the woman.

　　地方報社負責刊登死亡訃告的部門電話響了。“登一篇訃告多少錢?”一位女士問。

　　"It's five dollars a word, ma'am," the clerk replied politely. "Fine," said the woman after a moment."Got a pencil?" "Yes ma'am." "Got some paper?""Yes ma'am."

　　“五美元一個字，太太。”書記員禮貌地回答。“好的，”女士沉默了一小會兒，“拿著筆呢嗎?”“是的，夫人。”“紙呢?”“是的，夫人。”

　　"Okay, write this down: 'Cohen dead'." "That's all?" asked the clerk disbelievingly. "That's it." "I'm sorry ma'am, I should have told you - there's a five word minimum."

　　“好的，這樣寫：‘科恩去世了’”“就這些了?”書記員疑惑地問道。“對，就這些。”“很抱歉，夫人，我剛才沒有告訴您，在我們這登訃告最少也得五個字。”

　　"Yes, you should've," snapped the woman. Now let me think a minute... okay, got a pencil?" "Yes ma'am.""Got some paper?" "Yes, ma'am." "Okay, here goes: 'Cohen dead. Cadillac for Sale.'"

　　“沒錯，你就應該告訴我，”女士有點生氣了，“現在我得考慮一下，嗯…拿著筆呢嗎?”“是的，夫人。”“紙呢?”“是的，夫人。”“好的，這樣寫：‘科恩去世了，出售一輛卡迪拉克轎車。’”