經典的英文笑話帶翻譯

　　愛情就像笑話，笑死了別人，笑疼了自己。小編整理了，歡迎閱讀!

　　：Losing One Pound

　　減了一磅 

　　I complimented one of my co-workers on having lost ten pounds. However, I couldn't resistbragging that when I was 17, 1 weighed 225 pounds and today I tip the scales at 224. 1 added, "That's not bad for a man of my age."

　　Overhearing this, a woman remarked, "You mean to say it took you all this time to lose onepound?"

　　我稱讚我的一個同事減肥10磅。可是，我禁不住誇耀說我17歲時，體重225磅，而目前體重是224磅。我還說：“這對我這樣年齡的男子來說，是不錯的。”

　　一個女子聽到了這些話，她說道：“你是說你花了這麼長時間才減了1磅?”

　　：我要讓她發瘋

　　Mrs. Flinders decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, "Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets and a ruby pendant."

　　"But you're not wearing any of those things."

　　"I know," said Mrs. Flinders." It's in case I should die before my husband. I'm sure he'd remarry right away, and I want her to go nuts looking for the jewelry."

　　福林德斯夫人決定讓人給她畫肖像。她告訴那位肖像畫家說：“畫我帶著鑽石耳環、鑽石項鍊、祖母綠手鐲，還有紅寶石垂飾。”

　　“但你現在沒帶這其中的任何一樣飾品。”

　　“我知道。”福林德斯夫人說，“萬一我先我丈夫死去，我肯定他會立刻再婚。我要讓那個女人為尋找這些珠寶而發瘋。”

　　：母性的本能

　　As a new father, I quickly learned the true meaning of maternal instinct. Late one night, Iwas summoned to the hospital to attend to one of my patients. I quietly got up in the dark buttripped over a toy and crashed to the floor. As I lay there rubbing my sore leg, my wife slepton.

　　Then there was a faint cough from the nursery. Debra leaped out of bed, running past medown the hall to our baby's room. When she returned, she looked at me and said, "What onearth are you doing on the floor?"

　　剛剛作了父親，我就很快體會到母性本能的涵義了。一個深夜，醫院召我去照應一位病人。我悄悄地在黑暗中起了床，但一隻腳絆在一個玩具上，撲通一聲摔在地板上。我倒在那裡，揉著疼痛的腿，妻子毫無反應地繼續睡著。

　　突然，嬰兒房傳來輕微的咳嗽聲。戴博拉躍下床來，從我身邊跑過，下了客廳到我們嬰兒的房間。她返回來時，看了看我說：“你究竟在地板上幹什麼?”