笑到爆炸的英語笑話大全

　　幽默與笑話是人們生活中的精神樂趣 ,是人們智慧與文化的結晶。下面是小編帶來的笑到爆炸的英語笑話，歡迎閱讀!

　　笑到爆炸的英語笑話篇一

　　A Proud Father 驕傲的老爸

　　The concerned father was puzzled because his son’s grades had been dropping steadily while he was at college, so he called the dean to find out what was wrong.

　　一位關心兒子的老爸對於念大學的兒子成績每況愈下一直想不懂，因此他拜訪了學院的院長，想了解究竟問題在哪裡。

　　“Well, sir,” relied the dean, who always tried to be diplomatic, “I’ve got some good news and some bad news. The bad news is that your son’s become the most flagrant homosexual on campus, and spends all his time chasing after the lads on the football and basketball teams.”

　　說話總是講求圓滑的院長回答說：“先生，我有好訊息和壞訊息要告訴你。壞訊息是令郎乃是聞名校內的同性戀者，他成天只知道追求足球隊和籃球隊的男孩子。”

　　“My God, that’s horrible!”

　　“我的老天爺，太可怕了!”

　　“But the good news is he’s just been elected Queen of the Homecoming Parade!”

　　“但好訊息是他剛被選為歡迎球隊返校遊行的皇后!”

　　笑到爆炸的英語笑話篇二

　　And Where Did You Meet Your Wife? 你在哪裡遇到你太太呢?

　　Two acquaintances were in the barber shop getting shaves at the same time. After the barbers had finished, each man was asked if he would like some after-shave applied to his skin.

　　兩個熟識的朋友剛好同時在理髮店內刮鬍子。理髮師刮完他們的鬍子後，兩人都被問到要不要在臉上抹上一些刮鬍子後所使用的香水。

　　“No, no,” answered the first man. “My wife will think I’ve been in a whorehouse.”

　　“不，不，”第一個先生說。“我太太會以為我去過妓院。”

　　“Go ahead,” said the other. “My wife has never been in a whorehouse!”

　　“我沒關係，”另一個先生說道“。我太太從沒在妓院待過!”

　　笑到爆炸的英語笑話篇三

　　Thirstin’ for Love 渴望愛情

　　Thurston was in the habit of visiting his girl-friend’s apartment from time to time, but always managed to get home at a decent hour with a plausible excuse.

　　沙斯敦經常去他女友的公寓住處，但他總是設法找個理由以免太晚回家。

　　But this time, both he and his girlfriend had fallen asleep, and it was 2:00 a.m. before Thurston came to. Thinking fast, he immediately called home, and when his wife answered, panted, “Don’t pay the ransom! I’ve escaped!”

　　但這一次，他和女朋友都睡著了，當他醒來時都已經凌晨兩點了，沙斯敦腦筋一轉，立刻打電話回家，當他太太接電話時，他故意喘著氣說“：千萬不要付贖金!我已經安全逃出來了!”

　　笑到爆炸的英語笑話篇四

　　A Touching Farewell 一個感人的告別

　　Two old friends were out golfing. As they were preparing to tee off near a road, a funeral cortege drove by and one of the two friends took off his hat and held it over his heart until the line of cars had passed.

　　兩個老朋友出外打高爾夫球，當他們在一處路旁準備開球時，一列出殯送葬車隊恰巧經過那裡，其中一位朋友脫去帽子放在胸前，直到車隊通過後才戴上帽子。

　　“Well, that was good manners on your part,” said his partner.

　　“你這樣做實在很有禮貌，”他的同伴說道。

　　“Oh, it was the least I could do. After all, we would have been married thirty years next Tuesday.”

　　“喔，那隻不過是我最起碼所能做的事了。畢竟，到下星期二我們結婚就滿三十年了。”

　　笑到爆炸的英語笑話篇五

　　As the years turn

　　生日來臨之際

　　For her 82nd birthday，I surprised my grandmother with a birthday greeting signed by the President. ***Upon request，this service is available to seniors over 80.***When I asked grandma how she felt receiving a card from the White House，she had a ready answer. "There's no privacy in this country any more,"she said. "They even keep track of your birthday. "

　　我奶奶過82歲的生日時，我送給她一份驚奇的禮物—一張由總統簽名的生日賀卡。***根據規定，80歲以上的老年人可得到此項服務。***當我問奶奶收到來自白宮的賀卡有何感想時，她毫不猶豫地回答說:“在這個國家，再也沒有隱私了，他們就連你的生日都追蹤著。”