短篇爆笑英文小笑話大全超搞笑

　　冷笑話是近幾年才出現的新興語言現象，它以網路為主要的傳播方式。它是幽默的一種特殊的表現形式，主要流傳於網頁，微博，貼吧等。小編精心收集了短篇爆笑英文小笑話，供大家欣賞學習!

　　短篇爆笑英文小笑話：Lion Tamer

　　wo unemployed guys are talking. One says, "I'm going to become a lion tamer."

　　The other replies, "That's crazy, you don't know nothing about no lion taming."

　　"Yes I do!"

　　"Well, OK, answer me this. When one of those lions comes at you all roaring and biting, what you gonna do?"

　　"Well, then I take that big chair they all carry, and I stick it in his face until he backs down."

　　"Well, what if the lion takes that big paw, and hooks the chair with them big claws, and throws that chair out of the cage? What do you do then?"

　　"Well, then I takes that whip they all carry, and I whip him and whip him until he backs down."

　　"Well, what if that lion bites that whip with his big teeth, and bites it in two? What you gonna do then?"

　　"Well, then I take that gun they all carry, and I shoot him."

　　"Well, what if that gun doesn't work? What will you do then?"

　　"Well, then I pick up some of the shit that's on the bottom of the cage, and I throw it in his eyes, and I run out of

　　the cage."

　　"Well, what if there ain't no shit in the bottom of the cage? What you gonna do then?"

　　"Well, that's dumb. Cause if that lion comes at me, and he throws the chair out of the cage, and he bites the whip in two, and my gun don't work, there's going to be some shit on the bottom of that cage, you can bet on that."

　　短篇爆笑英文小笑話：Monkey Organization

　　An organization is like a tree full of monkeys, all on different limbs at different levels.

　　Some monkeys are climbing up, some down.

　　The monkeys on top look down and see a tree full of smiling faces.

　　The monkeys on the bottom look up and see nothing but assholes.

　　短篇爆笑英文小笑話：Wittle Wabbit

　　A little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp: "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep wittle wabbits?"

　　And the shopkeeper gets down on his knees, so that he's on her level, and asks: "Do you want a wittle white wabby or a soft and fuwwy bwack wabby or maybe one like that cute wittle bwown wabby over there?"

　　The little girl puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says in a quiet voice: "I don't fink my pyfon really giveths a thit."

　　短篇爆笑英文小笑話：The Other Side

　　Once upon a time, there was a river. The Nile River, to be exact. On one side of the river lived the rabbit, and on the other side lived the bear.

　　One fine day, the bear was sitting on a stump, enjoying his breakfest of berries. Then he heard someone yelling at him. It was the rabbit.

　　"Hey! Hey, Teddy, get your butt over here. I've got something to show you!"

　　"Not now! I'm eating."

　　"Oh come on!" said the rabbit. "It's really important."

　　"No way."

　　"Please. It's urgent."

　　So the bear decided to go all the way over the wide river. It took him all day and all night to get over to the other side. He nearly drowned. And when he finally got there he was groaningand panting, and wheezing for air.

　　"Well, rabbit," he panted. "What did you want to tell me?"

　　"Hey, Teddy," the rabbit began, "look how many berries are on the other side of the river."

　　短篇爆笑英文小笑話：Living with the Wolf Man

　　The Wolf Man comes home one day from a long day at the office. "How was work, dear?" his wife asks.

　　"Listen! I don't want to talk about work!" he shouts.

　　"Okay. Would you like to sit down and eat a nice home cooked meal?" she asks nicely.

　　"Listen!" he shouts again. "I'm not hungry! I don't wanna eat! All right! Is that all right with you? Can I come home from work and just do my own thing without you forcing food down mythroat? Huh?"

　　At this moment, the wolf man started growling, and throwing things around the apartment in a mad rage.

　　Looking out the window, his wife sees a full moon and says to herself, "Well, I guess it's that time of the month."