短一點的簡單英語笑話帶翻譯

　　網際網路不僅是我們生活中不可缺少的，而且也是我們工作學習之餘緩解壓力、舒緩情緒的重要渠道。正是由於我們有這樣的需要，網路笑話得以繁榮興盛。小編精心收集了，供大家欣賞學習!

　　：To Drum Up Business 招攬生意

　　A man accidentally slipped on a banana peel***香蕉皮*** and performed a very funny fall. He was not hurt, but had his dignity somewhat ruffled.

　　When he got better a moment later, he found a number of people standing round in a circle. He said angrily, "What are these idlers doing here.?"

　　"They are not idlers," explained his friend. "This man is a doctor. He wants to look you over." That man is a lawyer. He is ready to file suit for you. And a producer of comic films is waiting for you to sign a contract agreeing to work for him."

　　有個人不小心踩到一塊香蕉皮上，滑到的樣子非常滑稽，引人發笑。他沒有受傷，只是有點難情。

　　過了一會兒他感覺好些了的時候，發覺有好幾個人圍著他站成一圈。他很不高興地說：“這些閒人在這裡幹什麼呢?”

　　他的朋友解釋說：“他們不是閒人。這個人是醫生，他想給你檢查一下。那個人是律師，他準備為你起訴。另一個人是喜劇電影的製片人，他在等你和他訂一個同意去給他拍片的合約。”

　　：Lecture on Giving up Drinking 戒酒演講

　　A competition which subject is on giving up drinking is proceeding. One of lecturers says excitedly, " Alcohol can break down conjugal***婚姻的*** relation, even cause your wife to leave you… "

　　A man shouts out at the news, "Give me another bottle of Brandy."

　　以戒酒為主題的演講比賽正在進行，一個演講者動情地說：“酒精可以破壞夫妻關係，甚至導致妻子離開自己的丈夫……”

　　這時一個男人大聲喊：“再來一瓶白蘭地!”

　　：The Bus is too crowded 車太擠

　　"Hey, let me get on." a man shouted at the passengers on the bus.

　　"It's too crowded. You had better wait for the next bus." a passenger said to him.

　　"But you can't go without me. I'm the driver." the man said.

　　“喂，讓我上車!”那位男士向公交車上的乘客喊道。

　　“車太擠了，你最好等下一輛。”一位乘客對他說。

　　“但是沒有我你們走不了，我是司機!”那位男士說道。

　　：Imitate Birds 模仿鳥兒

　　A man tried to get a job in a stage show. "What can you do?" asked the producer.

　　"Imitate birds," the man said.

　　"Are you kidding?" answered the producer, "People like that are a dime a dozen."

　　"Well, I guess that's that." said the actor, as he spread his arms and flew out the window.

　　一個人想在一個舞臺劇中找份工作。“你能幹什麼呢?”負責人問。

　　“模仿小鳥，”那人說。

　　“你在開玩笑吧?”負責人答道，“那樣的人一毛錢可以找一打。”

　　“噢，那就算了。”那名演員說著，展開翅膀，飛出了視窗。

　　：Elephant Sandwich 大象三明治

　　he customs official blocks a traveller, and ask him whether take should pay customs duties a product.

　　"Have no." The traveller answers a way.

　　"Are you affirmative to have no?"

　　"Certainly."

　　"So what's the matter with the elephant with bread slices clipping on its ears?"

　　"Sir, it's completely my own business to clip things in my sandwich!"

　　海關官員攔住一位旅客，並問他是否帶有應報關物品。

　　“沒有。”旅客答道。

　　“您肯定沒有麼?”

　　“當然。”

　　“那麼你身後的這頭耳朵上夾著麵包片的大象是怎麼回事?”

　　“先生，我的三明治裡夾什麼東西完全是我自己的事!”