英語笑話大全爆笑

　　笑話一般比較短小,喜劇性很強,普遍存在於人們的日常生活中。笑話的娛樂作用可以減輕人的心理壓力,促進身體健康。小編精心收集了爆笑英語笑話，供大家欣賞學習!

　　爆笑英語笑話篇1

　　輕而易舉

　　Stepping from my kitchen into the garage, I accidentally locked myself out of the house. When I tried to persuade my 18-month-old son，Taylor, to open the door, none of my tactics worked. Finally，I walked around the house to check for an open window. To my amazement，I found the front door open and Taylor standing there with a salesman.

　　出了廚房我便走進了車庫，不留神把門鎖給撞上了，把我自己鎖在了門外。我那18個月的兒子泰勒在屋裡。於走，我在外邊千方百計地想讓他幫我開門，結果均告失敗。最後，我圍著房子想找個開著的窗子。令我吃驚的是，前門開著，我的兒子站在門口正與一個推銷員在談話。

　　"I've been locked out for 20 minutes,"I said. "How did you get him to open the door?"

　　我對那推銷員說:“我被鎖在了外邊20多分鐘，你是怎樣讓他給你開門的”。

　　Looking puzzled，the man replied，“I rang the doorbell."

　　面帶驚奇的推銷員答說:“我只按了一下門鈴。”

　　爆笑英語笑話篇2

　　訓獸童

　　A boy of about ten was sitting on a city bus with a briefcase on his lap. Periodically the youngster would whisper into his coat. A woman passenger caught his eye with a quizzical look and，in response，the boy produced a small white mouse from his shirt pocket.”He's just a baby."explained the youngster. "His parents are in here. "Opening his briefcase，he brought forth a pair of slightly Larger. white mice from among a dozen or so that scurried around inside. By this time several other passengers had formed an audience, and the boy patiently explained his interest in mice，how to take care of them, their eating habits, their different personalities and so on.

　　一位十歲的男孩腿上放著會文箱，正坐在一輛城市公共汽車上。這個孩子不斷地對著他衣服小聲嘟嚷。一位女乘客從這個男孩的眼神裡看到一種疑感。緊接著這個小男孩從他的襯衣兜裡拿出一隻小白鼠，並解繹說:“這是個鼠息子。他的父母也在這裡。”開啟他的手提箱，他從大約有十幾個的白鼠中挑出一對稍大的。這時其他的乘客也圍了過來。小男孩耐心地講著他對白鼠的興趣，怎樣照顧它們，它們的飲食習慣及不同的特性。

　　As the bus pulled up to his stop，the boy slipped the mice back into his briefcase and rose to leave his rapt audience. Starting down the steps，he turned back for a moment.

　　待車在汽車站停下時，小男孩把小白鼠放回到手提箱，站起來，離開了這些著了迷的觀眾。他下車時轉過身對大家說:“這些是用來餵我助蛇的。”說著，他就消失了。

　　"They are for my snake. "he said and disappeared out of the door.

　　爆笑英語笑話篇3

　　漫無邊際的選單

　　A man dirning with a friend explained the peculiarities of the restaurant they were in:"The waiters never admit they don't have something. They'll take your order. for a slice of sun and too away as if they mean to get it...then they'll come back and say they just ran out.”

　　一位和朋友吃飯的男士解釋他們在飯館裡吃飯的怪現象時說:“服務員從未承認過他們沒有什麼萊。假如你想要一份太陽，他們也會拿著選單離去，好像真能給你弄來似的。然後，他們回來說這道菜剛賣完。”為了證明這一點，我說:“請來一份恐龍。”

　　To prove his point，he said to the waiter,“The dinosaur，please.”

　　“好的，先生，”服務員回答說:“您要的恐龍是做得嫩點還是老點兒的?”

　　“Yes，sir，“answered the waiter.”And how would you like it cooked?"

　　“老點兒的。”

　　"Well done!"

　　服務員離開了，又很快回來了。“對不起，先生，我們的恐龍菜剛賣完。”

　　The waiter left and returned quickly.“I'm sorry, sir，but we've just run out of a dinosaur.”

　　“什麼?”顧客氣憤地說:“沒有恐龍?”

　　" What?" said the diner with feigned disappointment."No dinosaur?"

　　那服務員低聲地說:“我們的確還剩一些。”他顯得作常自信的樣子。“但恐龍肉有點兒不太鮮了，所以我們還是不給您上這道菜的好。”

　　The waiter lowered his voice. "Well，we do have some left，“he whispered confidentially,"...but it's not very fresh and I won't serve it!”