關於新年的英語笑話

　　下面是小編整理的，歡迎大家閱讀！

　　：Hospitality

　　The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy.

　　好客

　　由於客人在吃蘋果餡餅時，家裡沒有乳酪了，於是女主人向大家表示歉意。這家的小男孩悄悄地離開了屋子。過了一會兒，他拿著一片乳酪回到房間，把乳酪放在客人的盤子裡。 客人微笑著把乳酪放進嘴裡說：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你媽媽的好。你在哪裡找到的乳酪?” “在捕鼠夾上，先生。”那小男孩說。

　　：A Good Boy

　　Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"

　　"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.

　　"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"

　　"She is the one who sells the candy."

　　好孩子

　　小羅伯特向媽媽要兩分錢。

　　“昨天給你的錢幹什麼了?”

　　“我給了一個可憐的老太婆，”他回答說。 “你真是個好孩子，”媽媽驕傲地說。“再給你兩分錢。可你為什麼對那位老太太那麼感興趣呢?”

　　“她是個賣糖果的。”

　　：The Things Kids Say

　　One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her small boy into bed.She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice，“Mommy，will you sleep with me tonight ?”　　The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. “I can' t，dear.” She said.“I have to sleep in Daddy's room.”

　　Along silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice：“The big sissy.”

　　童言無忌

　　一個夏季的晚上，雷雨大作，母親讓小男孩上床鑽進被窩。她正準備熄燈，孩子聲音顫抖地問：“媽咪，你今晚可以陪我睡嗎?”母親笑著，擁抱一下小孩安慰說，“親愛的，不可以。我得睡在爸爸的房間。”一陣長長的沉默之後，男孩小聲地用顫音說：“重色輕友。”

　　：

　　this year in the company for the new year together, eating regiment nian fan, the manager drunk, going to the toilet and vomiting, to coincide with a male staff member is urinate, the manager angrily, saying: that of how a good drink still pouring? male wensheng emergency stop, but he unexpectedly biechu ass, the manager was furious: damn! who opened the bottle?

　　翻譯：

　　在公司吃團年飯

　　今年在公司裡過春節,在一起吃團年飯時，經理酒醉，入廁嘔吐，恰逢一男職員正小解，經理怒曰：說好不喝了怎麼還倒酒?男聞聲急停，不料憋出個屁來，經理大怒：媽的!誰又開了一瓶?

　　：

　　New Year Resolution Hoping to excite student interest in our reading center, I asked each teacher to write a New Year's resolution on a special form and send it to me. After I posted the resolutions on the bulletin board in the reading center, one young teacher stopped by, looked at them for a few minutes, then left abruptly. Passing two teachers on their way in, she stormed, "My resolution isn't posted - and mine was one of the first ones in!" I couldn't help but overhear, and the tone of her voice sent me flying to my desk in rearch of a misplaced resolution. Looking rapidly through stacks of papers, I uncovered hers. It read, "I resolve not to let little things upset me. "

　　新年決心書為了激勵同學們對我們閱覽中心的興趣，我請每位老師在一張特製的表格上寫一篇新年決心書交給我。我將決心書張貼在閱覽中心的布告牌上之後，一位年輕老師停下來幾分鐘，便抽身走開了。她越過兩位老師闖了進來，大發雷霆道：“我的決心書竟然沒有貼出來-而我的是第一批交上來的。”我在旁邊聽到了，看她氣勢洶洶的樣子，我嚇得趕緊跑回辦公室去找那份放錯了地方的決心書，飛快瀏覽了幾疊紙之後，我打開了她的那一份，上面寫著：我決心不再為一些小事而煩惱。

　　：

　　A lady opened her refrigerator and saw a rabbit sitting on one of the shelves,"What are you doing in there?" she asked.

　　一位女士開啟冰箱門,發現一隻兔子坐在其中的一層隔板上,就問它：“你在那裡做什麼?”

　　The rabbit replied,"This is a Westinghouse,isn't it?"

　　兔子回答：“這是Westinghouse對不對?”***Westinghouse,西屋電氣公司***

　　The lady confirmed,"Yes."

　　女士確認道：“沒錯.”

　　"Well," the rabbit said,"I'm westing."

　　兔子說：“那就對了,我就是要往西邊去.”