英語經典幽默笑話帶翻譯笑死人

　　從古到今，笑話是人們生活中不可缺少的“調劑品”。笑話使人們在刻板的生活中感到一絲快意和放鬆。與此同時，笑話也是人們反對極權和專制制度的有力武器。下面小編整理了五個經典搞笑的英語笑話及其翻譯，希望可以給你的生活帶來歡樂!

　　英語經典幽默笑話一：The blonde and the farmer

　　There was a blonde that was so sick of blonde jokes she died her hair red. The jokes stopped and she felt so good, she took a ride in the country one Saturday afternoon. While on this ride, she noticed a flock of sheep and stopped the car to take&n......。

　　一個金髮女郎，是那麼噁心的黃色笑話她把頭髮染成紅色。笑話停了下來，她覺得很好，她在農村的一個搭車的星期六下午。而在這旅程，她注意到一群羊，停下車來把......。

　　英語經典幽默笑話二：太晚了 It's Too Late

　　A medical student was called on to state how much of a certain drug he would give to a patient. He promptly replied: "Five grains."

　　A minute later the student asked the professor, "May I correct my answer?" The professor looked at his watch and said: "It's too late. Your patient died thirty seconds ago."

　　一個醫科學生被要求說明他給病人服的那種藥的用量。他立即回答道：“五粒。”

　　一分鐘後，這個學生問教授：“我可以改正我的回答嗎?”教授看看手錶，說：“太晚啦，你的病人已在30秒鐘以前死了。”

　　英語經典幽默笑話三：因禍得福 To Profit from a Misfortune

　　A man was a butterfingers. He had been suffering from unemployment for months.

　　At last he found a job in a chinaware house. He had worked only a few days when he dropped a large vase.

　　The manager summoned him to the office and told him that money would be deducted from his wages every week until the vase was paid for. He asked: "How much did it cost?" "Five hundred dollars." said the manager. "Oh, that's wonderful," he said happily, "I'm so happy that I have got a steady job at last."

　　有一個人很粗心，老是打爛東西。他已失業好幾個月了。

　　最後他在一個瓷器店找到了一個工作。可是才幹了幾天，他就打爛了一個很大的花瓶。

　　經理把他到辦公室去，告訴他每個星期都要扣他的工錢，直到賠償夠了為止。他就問：“那個花瓶值多少錢?”經理說：“值500美元。”他很高興地說：“啊!太妙了，我非常高興，終於有個穩定的工作啦。”

　　英語經典幽默笑話四：I Don't Need to Steal Any More

　　The owner of a large department store went over hisbooks and discovered that his most trusted employee had stolenover a million dollars from the firm.“I want no scandal，” saidthe owner.“I'll just fire you.” The employee replied，“True，I robbed your firm of quitea tidy sum. I now have yachts， a country mansion， jewelry，and every luxury you can think of. I don't need a thing， sowhy hire somebody else and have him start from scratch?”

　　一家大百貨店的老闆在查帳中發現，他最信任的僱員從公司偷走了一百多萬美元。“我不要醜聞。”老闆說。“我只要開除你。”那個僱員回答說：“不錯，我是偷了你公司相當一大筆錢。現在我有遊艇、一座鄉村別墅、珠寶，以及你能想到的一切 奢侈品。我什麼都不需要了，你為什麼要再僱個人來，讓他從頭做起呢?”

　　英語經典幽默笑話五：合理的憂傷

　　On his deathbed poor Lubin lies; His spouse is in despair; With frequent sobs and mutual cries; They both express their care. “A different cause，”says Parson Sly， “The same effect may give： Poor Lubin fears that he may die ; His wife，that he may live”.

　　馬修·普賴厄 可憐的魯賓躺在他的病床裡; 他的妻子陷入絕望; 頻頻啜泣，相對哭啼， 他們都表達著憂傷。 “不同原因，”滑頭牧師說， “可產生同樣結果： 可憐的魯賓怕他會死; 他老婆，怕他會活。”

　　英語經典幽默笑話六：Compare other things?比一下其他?

　　Son: Mom, John has a pair of shoes with Gordon’s name signed.

　　Mom: You just care about this? Haven’t you compared other things?

　　Son: Yes, his mother is prettier than you.

　　兒子：媽媽，John有雙喬丹簽名的球鞋。

　　媽媽：你只關心這個嗎?不會比一下其它東西?

　　兒子：有啊，他媽媽比你漂亮。