經典英語笑話大全

　　下面是小編整理的一些關於經典英語笑話7篇，歡迎大家閱讀!

　　經典英語笑話一：咒語

　　An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years.

　　一個男人找到一個巫婆，要求她解開一條困擾了自己40年的咒語。

　　The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you."

　　巫婆說："或許我可以做的到，但你必須一字不落地告訴我下咒的時候說的那句咒語。"

　　The old man says without hesitation - "I now pronounce you man and wife."

　　男人毫不猶豫的答道：“‘我現在宣佈你們成為夫婦。’”

　　經典英語笑話二：世界各地的蹩腳英語

　　①If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself。

　　日本旅館：如果您想調節您房間的溫度，請控制您自己。

　　②Please don't feed the animals. If you have any food, please give it to the guard on duty。

　　匈牙利動物園：請不要給動物餵食。如果您有食品，請餵給值班警衛。

　　③Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar。

　　挪威酒吧：女士們不要在酒吧裡生孩子。

　　④Fur coats made for ladies from their skins。

　　瑞典皮貨商店：為女士們製作的皮大衣，是用她們的皮製成的。

　　⑤Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists 。

　　香港牙科診所：由最新的衛理公會教徒給您拔牙。

　　⑥Drop your trousers here for best results。

　　泰國的乾洗店：在這裡脫掉您的褲子，等待最好的結果。

　　⑦Specialist in women and other diseases。

　　義大利婦科診所：我們是women和其他疾病的專家。

　　⑧Welcome to the cemetery where famous Russian artists are buried daily except Thursday。

　　俄國公墓：歡迎訪問這個公墓，許多著名的俄國藝術家每天埋在這裡，但星期四不埋。

　　⑨We take your bags and send them in all directions。

　　丹麥機場：我們將拿走您的行李，送往四面八方。

　　⑩The manager has personally passed all water served here。

　　墨西哥旅館：旅館經理將親自為您撒尿。

　　經典英語笑話三：送出去還有的東西

　　What can Santa give away and still keep?

　　Answer: a cold.

　　什麼東西聖誕老人可以分送出去，自己卻也還留著?

　　答案：感冒。

　　經典英語笑話四：聖誕老人的愛好

　　What does Santa Claus like to do in his garden?

　　Answer: he likes to hoe, hoe, hoe.

　　聖誕老人喜歡在花園裡做什麼?

　　答案：鋤地。***英文裡Hoe 和ho同音。hoe是鋤草之意，ho則是聖誕老人的笑聲。***

　　鉛筆

　　What do you do if one of Santa’s reindeer swallows your pencil?

　　Answer: use a pen.

　　若聖誕老人的馴鹿吃掉你的鉛筆該怎麼辦?

　　答案：用原子筆

　　經典英語笑話五：1000元的腦筋急轉彎

　　On Christmas Eve Santa Claus met an honest politician and a kind lawyer while riding up in an elevator of a very exclusive hotel.

　　Just before the doors opened the three of them noticed a 1000NT bill lying on the floor. Which one of them do you think picked it up?

　　聖誕節前夕，聖誕老人和一清廉的政治人物，以及一心地善良的律師在一家高階飯店一同等電梯，門還未開前，三人同時看到地上有一張新臺幣1000元的鈔票，猜猜誰會將它撿起?

　　Answer: Santa of course! Why? Because everybody knows that the other two don’t exist!

　　答案：當然是聖誕老人啦!為什麼?因為大家都知道另外兩者並不存在。

　　經典英語笑話六：Cry

　　"Tom, what's the matter with your brother?" asked the mother in the kitchen. "He's crying."

　　"Oh, nothing, Mum," replied Tom. "I'm eating my cake. He is crying because I won't give him any."

　　"But has he finished his own cake?"

　　"Yes." said Tom. "And he also cried when I was helping him finish that."

　　“湯姆，你弟弟怎麼了?” 媽媽在廚房裡問。“他在哭。”

　　“沒事兒，媽媽，”湯姆答道。“我在吃我的蛋糕。他哭是因為我不給他吃。”

　　“他已經吃完自己的了麼?”

　　“是的。”“我幫他吃完時，他也哭了。”

　　經典英語笑話七：可憐的男人

　　A man sat at a bar, had the saddest hangdog expression.

　　Bartender: "What's the matter? Are you having troubles with your wife?"

　　The man: "We had a fight, and she told me that she wasn't going to speak to me for a month."

　　Bartender: "That should make you happy."

　　The man: "No, the month is up today!"

　　一個男人坐在酒吧裡，傷心至極。

　　酒吧招待：“你怎麼了?跟老婆鬧矛盾了?”

　　男人：“我們吵了一架，她說一個月都不跟我說話。”

　　酒吧招待：“那你應該高興才是啊!”

　　男人：“不，今天是這個月的最後一天。”