有關初中英語笑話帶翻譯

　　民間笑話故事像神話小說等民間文學一樣，是廣大勞動人民在長期的生產勞動和與自然界作鬥爭的過程中，以口頭形式創作和傳承的文學體裁。本文是，希望對大家有幫助!

　　：精明的家庭主婦

　　A smart housewife was told that there was a kind of stove which would only consume half of the coal she was burning. She was very excited, and said: "That'll be terrific! Since one stove can save half of the coal, if I buy two, no coal will be needed!"

　　一位精明的家庭主婦聽人說有一種爐子用起來可以比她現在用的爐子省一半的煤。她聽了大為興奮，說：“那太好了!一個爐子可以省一半的煤，那麼如果我買兩個爐子的話，不就可以把煤全都省下來了嗎?”

　　：Where is the father?

　　Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.

　　"Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!"

　　"Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?"

　　The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously hewas painting the pictures."

　　父親在哪兒?

　　兄弟倆在看一些漂亮的油畫。

　　“看，”哥哥說，“這些畫多漂亮呀!”

　　“是啊，”弟弟說道，“可是在所有這些畫中，只有媽媽和孩子。那爸爸去哪兒了呢?”

　　哥哥想了會兒，然後解釋道：“很明顯，他當時正在畫這些畫唄。”

　　：MODERN LIFE

　　Two old friends got together after many years and soon fell to discussing their husbands' faults.

　　"We've been married fifteen years," one woman said, "and every night after dinner my husband always complains about the food."

　　"How terrible!" exclaimed the other. "Does it bother you?"

　　"Why should it bother me?" her friend replied. "if he can't only stand his own cooking?"

　　現代生活

　　兩個老朋友分別多年之後又見面了，很快就開始談起各自丈夫的缺點。

　　“我們結婚十五年了，”一個婦女說道，“每天晚飯後，我丈夫總要抱怨飯菜。”

　　“真可惡!”另一個驚呼道。“難道你不煩嗎?”

　　“我煩什麼?”她的朋友答道。“他不過是忍受不了自己的烹調技術。”

　　：I Wasn't Asleep

　　When a group of women got on the car, every seat was already occupied. Theconductor noticed a man who seemed to be asleep, and fearing he might miss his stop, he nudged him and said: "Wake up, sir!"

　　"I wasn't asleep," the man answered.

　　"Not asleep? But you had your eyes closed."

　　"I know. I just hate to look at ladies standing up beside me in a crowded car."

　　我沒有睡著

　　當一群婦女上車之後，車上的座位全都被佔滿了。售票員注意到一名男子好象是睡著了，他擔心這個人會坐過站，就用肘輕輕地碰了碰他，說：“先生，醒醒!”

　　“我沒有睡著。”那個男人回答。

　　“沒睡著?可是你眼睛都閉上了呀?”

　　“我知道，我只是不願意看到在擁擠的車上有女士站在我身邊而已。”

　　：Bat Problem

　　Three pastors in the south were having lunch in a diner. One said, "You know, since summer started I've been having trouble with bats in my loft and attic at church. I've tried everything----noise, spray, cats----nothing seems to scare them away."

　　Another said, "Yes, me too. I've got hundreds living in my belfry and in the attic. I've been had the place fumigated, and they still won't go away."

　　The third said, "I baptized all mine, and made them members of the church...haven't seen one back since!"

　　蝙蝠的問題

　　三個南部的牧師在一家小餐館裡吃午飯。其中的一個說道：“你們知道嗎，自從夏天來臨，我的教堂的閣樓和頂樓就被蝙蝠騷擾，我用盡了一切辦法----噪音、噴霧、貓----似乎什麼都不能把它們趕走。”

　　另外一位說：“是啊，我也是。在我的鐘樓和閣樓也有好幾百只。我曾經請人把整個地方用煙燻消毒一遍，它們還是趕不走。”

　　第三個牧師說：“我為我那裡的所有蝙蝠洗禮，讓它們成為教會的一員......從此一隻也沒有再回來過。”