關於大學英語笑話閱讀

　　英語笑話是現代社會發展最快的一種口頭文學體裁,它體現了某一民族行為中最深刻的和潛意識中的觀點。小編精心收集了關於大學英語笑話，供大家欣賞學習!

　　關於大學英語笑話：I can not see it at all

　　我根本就看不見

　　After supper, the parents were busy playing mah-jong with the guests. At this point the mother thought of something and said to her son who was watching TV, "Honey, go see if the kitchen light is on or not?" After a while, her son returned and said, "Ma, the kitchen is so dark that I cannot see it at all."

　　晚飯後，父親和母親都忙著和客人玩麻將，這時母親忽然想起點兒事來，便對正在看電視的兒子說道：“寶貝，去看看廚房裡的燈是不是還開著呢?” 過了一會兒，兒子回來說：“媽，廚房裡太黑了，我根本就看不見。”

　　關於大學英語笑話：Johnny is busy now

　　It was half-past eight in the morning. The telephone rang and Mary went to answer it.

　　'Hello, who's that?' she asked.

　　'It's me--Peter.'

　　Peter was a friend of Mary's eight-year-old brother, Johnny.

　　'Oh, hello, Peter. What do you want?' said Mary.

　　'Can I speak to Johnny?'

　　'No,' said Mary, 'you can't speak to him now. He is busy. He is getting ready for school. He is eating his breakfast. Grandmother is combing his hair. Sister is under the table, putting his shoes on. Mother is getting his books and putting them in his school bag. Goodbye, I've got to go now. I have to hold the door open. The school bus is coming.'

　　關於大學英語笑話：Brave Cursing

　　A 6-year-old and a 4-year-old are upstairs in their bedroom. "You know what?" says the 6-year-old. "I think it's about time we start cursing." The 4-year-old nods his head in approval. The 6-year-old continues. "When we go downstairs for breakfast I'm going to say hell and you say ass."

　　"OK!" The 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm.

　　Their mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 6-year-old what he wants for breakfast. "Aw hell, Mom, I guess I'll have some Cheerios."

　　WHACK! He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the kitchen floor, gets up, and runs upstairs crying his eyes out, with his mother in hot pursuit, slapping his rear every step. The mom locks him in his room and shouts "You can just stay there till I let you out!"

　　She then comes back downstairs, looks at the 4-year-old, and asks with a stern voice, "And what do YOU want for breakfast young man?

　　"I don't know," he blubbers, "But you can bet your ass it won't be Cheerios!"

　　關於大學英語笑話：Bad Books

　　Kid's Books That Should Never Be Written:

　　'You Were an Accident'

　　'Strangers Have the Best Candy'

　　'The Little Sissy Who Snitched'

　　'Some Kittens Can Fly!'

　　'The Protocols of the Grandpas of Zion'

　　'How to Dress Sexy for Grownups'

　　'Getting More Chocolate on Your Face'

　　'Where Would You Like to Be Buried?'

　　'Katy Was So Bad Her Mom Stopped Loving Her'

　　'The Attention Deficit Disorder Association's Book of Wild Animals of North

　　Amer Hey! Let's Go Ride Our Bikes!'

　　'All Dogs Go to Hell'

　　'The Kids' Guide to Hitchhiking'

　　'When Mommy and Daddy Don't Know the Answer They Say God Did It'

　　'Garfield Gets Feline Leukemia'

　　'What Is That Dog Doing to That Other Dog?'

　　'Why Can't Mr. Fork and Ms. Electrical Outlet Be Friends?'

　　'Bi-Curious George'

　　'Daddy Drinks Because You Cry'

　　'Mister Policeman Eats His Service Revolver'

　　'You Are Different and That's Bad'

　　'Why God Burned Down Disney Land'

　　關於大學英語笑話：Fly jokes

　　How do fireflies start a race?

　　Ready steady glow!

　　If there are 5 flies in the kitchen how do you know which one is the American Football player?

　　The one in the sugar bowl!

　　How do you keep flies out of the kitchen?

　　Put a pile of manure in the living room!

　　What did one firefly say to the other?

　　Got to glow now!

　　What goes "snap, crackle and pop"?

　　A firefly with a short circuit!

　　Which fly makes films?

　　Stephen Speilbug!

　　Why did the firefly keep stealing things?

　　He was light fingered!

　　Why were the flies playing football in saucer?

　　They where playing for the cup!

　　What is the difference between a fly and a bird?

　　A bird can fly but a fly can't bird!

　　Why did the fly fly?

　　Because the spider spied 'er!