簡短爆笑的英語笑話大全

　　笑話是民族文化不可或缺的一部分。透過笑話我們可以看到一個民族的生存環境、生活方式、社會關係和心理特徵等等。小編分享簡短爆笑的英語笑話，希望可以幫助大家!

　　簡短爆笑的英語笑話：Keys to Success 成功的關鍵

　　One day a father was teaching his son and said, "The keys to your success are keeping your word and cleverness. Once you give somebody a promise, you must carry it out on matter what will happen. This is called 'keeping one's words.'

　　"What is cleverness? asked his son.

　　"Cleverness is that you'll never make such a promise, " the father answered.

　　一天，父親教育兒子說：“一個人成功的關鍵就是嚴守諾言和足夠聰明。一旦你給了別人承諾，無論發生什麼事，你都得實現它，這個就叫‘守諾言’。”

　　兒子問：“那麼什麼是聰明呢?”

　　父親回答：“聰明就是任何時候都別做這樣的承諾。”

　　簡短爆笑的英語笑話：你是怎麼引起洪水的?

　　How did you start the flood? 你是怎麼引起洪水的?

　　A doctor vacationing on the Riviera met a lawyer friend and asked him what he was doing there. The lawyer replied, " I'm here because my house burned down, and the insurance company paid for everything. What are you doing here?" "That's quite a coincidence," said the doctor "I'm here because my house were destroyed by a flood, and my insurance company also paid for everything." The lawyer looked puzzled. "Gee," he asked, "how did you start the flood?"

　　醫生在裡維埃拉度假時遇到他的一位律師朋友，醫生問他怎麼會到這裡來。律師回答：“我到這裡是因為我的房子被火燒了，保險公司賠償了我所有的損失。” “真巧，”醫生說，“我是因為房子被洪水沖垮了，保險公司也賠償了我所有的損失。”律師看起來有些困惑，他問“哎呀!你是怎麼引起洪水的?”

　　簡短爆笑的英語笑話：The Mean Man's Party 吝嗇鬼餐會

　　The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to the fifth floor and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."

　　"Why use my elbow and foot?"

　　"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-handed, are you?"

　　一個聲名狼藉的小氣鬼終於決定要請一次客了。他在向一個朋友解釋怎麼找到他家時說：“你上到五樓，用你的胳膊肘按門鈴。門開了後，再用你的腳把門推開。”

　　“為什麼我要用我的肘和腳呢?”

　　“天哪!” 吝嗇鬼回答，“你總不會空著手來吧?”

　　簡短爆笑的英語笑話：Who is that woman? 那女人是誰?

　　The newlyweds entered the elevator of their Miami Beach hotel. The operator, a magnificent blonde, looked at them in surprise and said, "Why, hello, Teddy, how are you?" When the couple reached their room, the piqued bride demanded: "Who was that woman?!" "Take it easy, honey," said the groom, "I'm going to have trouble enough explaining you to her."

　　一對新婚夫婦走進位於邁阿密海灘旅館的電梯。電梯操作員是一個漂亮的金髮碧眼的美女，看到他們十分驚奇，她說：“嗨，Teddy,你好嗎?”夫婦倆到了他們自己的房間，憤怒的新娘要求丈夫做出解釋：“那女人是誰?!”“冷靜點，寶貝，”新郎說： “我得對她解釋你是誰，這已經足夠煩死我了。”

　　簡短爆笑的英語笑話：Headstone "Strange"的墓石

　　A lawyer named Strange was shopping for a tombstone. After he had made his selection, the stonecutter asked him what inscription he would like on it. "Here lies an honest man and a lawyer," responded the lawyer. "Sorry, but I can't do that," replied the stonecutter. "In this state, it's against the law to bury two people in the same grave. However, I could put ``here lies an honest lawyer" "But that won't let people know who it is" protested the lawyer. "Certainly will," retorted the stonecutter. "people will read it and exclaim, "That's Strange!"

　　一個姓Strange的律師去買墓碑。他選好了以後，石匠問他，要在墓碑上刻什麼碑銘。律師回答：“這裡長眠著一個誠實的人，一個律師。”“對不起，我辦不到，”石匠說，“要是這樣的話，違反了一個墳墓只能埋葬一個人的法律。不過，我會刻上：‘這裡長眠著一位誠實的律師’。” 律師抗議：“但是那樣人們就不知道這裡埋葬的是誰啊!”“當然知道啦，”石匠反駁道，“人們看到會驚呼‘太奇怪了!’”