經典爆笑英文小笑話大全

　　網際網路不僅是我們生活中不可缺少的，而且也是我們工作學習之餘緩解壓力、舒緩情緒的重要渠道。正是由於我們有這樣的需要，網路笑話得以繁榮興盛。小編整理了經典爆笑英文小笑話，歡迎閱讀!

　　經典爆笑英文小笑話：I'm a chicken 我是一隻雞

　　Psychiatrist: What's your problem?

　　Patient: I think I'm a chicken.

　　Psychiatrist: How long has this been going on?

　　Patient: Ever since I was an egg!

　　精神病醫師：你哪裡不舒服?

　　病人：我認為我是一隻雞。

　　精神病醫師：這種情況從什麼時候開始的?

　　病人：從我還是一隻蛋的時候開始。

　　經典爆笑英文小笑話：Monkey and Policeman 猴子與警察

　　A policeman took a monkey to his boss. The boss asked, "What kind of monkey business are you getting up to?" He said, "This monkey was wandering on the streets, not following any of the rules. I'm turning him in". The boss said, "Oh, my God! You're so dumb! If you catch a monkey, you have to take it to the zoo. Why bring it to me. Take it to the zoo!" So the policeman took the monkey out.

　　Three or four days later, he was seen again, holding the monkey's hand. He took the monkey to the police car, opened the door,put it in, and was about to drive away. The boss saw this, ran out, and asked, "Oh, my God! How come the monkey is still here? I told you to take it to the zoo". The policeman replied, "Yes, sir. I've already taken him to the zoo. Today, I'm taking him to see a movie".

　　有一位警察大哥帶了只猴子給他上司看，他上司就說他：“你搞什麼猴子把戲?”警察大哥說：“這猴子在大街上到處亂跑，什麼法律都不懂，我把它捉了回來，治它的罪。”上司說：“天啊天，你怎麼那麼笨?捉到猴子就把它帶到動物園去嘛，帶給我幹嘛?帶它到動物園去。”後來那警察大哥就帶了猴子出去了。

　　三、四天後還看見他跟猴子手拉手開啟警車門讓猴子坐進去，正準備開車，他上司跑了出來說他：“天啊，為什麼到現在還把猴子留在這兒，我不是叫你把它帶到動物園去的嗎?為什麼還在這兒?”警察大哥：“我有呀!我已經帶它去了動物園，今天帶它去看電影!”

　　經典爆笑英文小笑話：Tie and water

　　A man was crawling across the desert dying of thirst, when a camel raced up and stopped. An Arab jumped down, opened a suitcase and said, "Would you like to buy a tie?" "No,"said the man, 'I need water, do you have water?' 'No,' said the Arab,' but I do have a wonderful selection of ties.' He rode off, and the unfortunate man continued crawling across the hot sand until he came to a beautiful Hotel. He crawled up the step, crying: 'Water! Water!' The manager approached him and said, 'I'm sorry Sir, you can't come in here without a Tie!'

　　經典爆笑英文小笑話：Logic 哪一門邏輯

　　Two people were going fishing. They went a long way to buy the equipment, bait and a video camera. Then they drove to the seaside. The roads were bad, and their car was badly damaged, with dents here and there. Most of their equipment was damaged, too.

　　After they reached the seaside, they caught only one fish. One of them said, "Business was really bad today. Do you know how much we spent on this one fish alone?"

　　The other answered, "Of course, I do. We spent two thousand dollars on just this one. It is a little too much!"

　　The first person then said, "Good thing we didn't catch more, or the costs would have been even higher. Two thousand dollars for one fish!"

　　有兩個人去捕魚，他們走了很長的路，買了很多工具、 食物和錄影器材等，然後開車去海邊。由於路不好走， 因此車子撞得亂七八糟，破這邊、破那邊，工具也損壞很多。

　　到海邊後，他們只捕到一條魚，其中一個人講：“今天虧本了，你知道我們花了多少錢才捕到這條魚嗎?”

　　另一個人說：“當然知道，我們花了兩千塊美金才捕到， 太過分了一點!”

　　第一個人說：“還好沒有捕更多，不然就更虧本了，每一條魚要兩千塊美金啊!”

　　經典爆笑英文小笑話：A piece of yellow paper

　　I had been doing Tech Support for Hewlett-Packard's DeskJet division for about a month when I had a customer call with a problem I just couldn't solve. She could not print yellow. All the other colors would print fine, which truly baffled***迷惑*** me because the only true colors are cyan***藍綠色***, magenta***洋紅***, and yellow.

　　I had the customer change ink cartridges, delete and reinstall the drivers. Nothing worked. I asked my coworkers for help; they offered no new ideas.

　　After over two hours of troubleshooting, I was about to tell the customer to send the printer in to us for repair when she asked quietly, "Should I try printing on a piece of white paper instead of yellow paper?"