超級爆笑英語笑話閱讀

　　笑話是民族文化不可或缺的一部分。透過笑話我們可以看到一個民族的生存環境、生活方式、社會關係和心理特徵等等。小編分享超級爆笑英語笑話，希望可以幫助大家!

　　超級爆笑英語笑話：Free Drinks For Everybody

　　One night, a drunk comes stumbling into a bar and says to the bartender: "Drinks for all on me including you, bartender." So the bartender follows the mans orders and says: "That will be $36.50 please." The drunk says he has no money so the bartender slaps him around and throws him out.

　　The next night the same drunk comes in again, goes up to the bartender and orders a drink for everyone in the bar including the bartender. Again the bartender follows instructions and again the drunk says he has no money. So the bartender slaps him around and throws him out.

　　On the third night he comes in, the drunk comes in a says, "Drinks all around, except for you bartender!"

　　"What, no drink for me?" asks the bartender.

　　"No way...you get violent when you drink."

　　超級爆笑英語笑話：To The Nines

　　One day, on 9/9/99, a man woke up at 9:09 a.m. in the morning, jumped on Bus #99 and went to his favorite restaurant on 9th Street. When the cashier rang up his order, it totaled $9.99.

　　"Oh, wow, this is an omen!" the man said, so he bought a pair of cheap binoculars at the 99¢ store, pulled out 99 cents in fares and took Bus #99 to the Race Track. As he approached Gate No. 9, he said to the ticket agent: "I would like to bet $999.99 on Horse No. 9 in the 9th race."

　　"Why those particular numbers?" the ticket agent asked.

　　"Nine seems to be my lucky number today," the man said excitedly. "I'm really on a roll!"

　　Feeling confident, he sat through the first eight races until Race No. 9 came up. Sure enough, he was on a roll.

　　The horse came in ninth.

　　超級爆笑英語笑話：Peeing-Eye Dog

　　A blind man is standing at the corner with his seeing eye dog waiting to cross the street, when his pooch lifts his leg and pisses down the side of his nice, herringbone tweed trousers. The guy immediately pulls a doggie biscuit out of his pocket and offers it to the dog.

　　A businessman watches this from across the street. "Excuse me, sir," he calls to the blind man, "are you aware that your dog has just pissed all down the leg of your pants?"

　　"Yes," replies the blind man. "A dreadful habit, which I'm trying to break him of."

　　"Well, it's none of my business," says the onlooker, "but you're not going to teach him much by rewarding him with a biscuit!"

　　The blind fellow chuckles, and says, "I'm not rewarding him. I'm just trying to find his head so I can kick his butt!"

　　超級爆笑英語笑話：The purpose of the propeller 飛機螺旋槳的用處

　　A: "What's the purpose of the propeller?"

　　B: "To keep the pilot cool. If you don't think so, just stop it and watch him sweat!"

　　A：飛機的螺旋槳有什麼用?

　　B：為了保持飛行員涼爽。不信的話，只要停止螺旋槳轉動看看飛行員會不會滿頭大汗。

　　超級爆笑英語笑話：To prove it 驗證

　　Someone asked a little boy: "Is a pound of lead heavier than a pound of feathers?" The boy quickly replied: "Of course it is."

　　When he was told "You are wrong. They both weigh the same," he insisted that a pound of lead is the heavier. He said: "To prove it, I would go up on the balcony and drop a pound of feathers on your head and then drop a pound of lead to let you say which is the heavier."

　　有人問一個小男孩：“一磅鉛比一磅羽毛重些嗎?”男孩馬上回答說：“當然是。”

　　這人對他說：“你錯了，兩樣東西重量是相同的。”但是男孩還是堅持認為一磅鉛重一些。他說：“為了證明這一點，我會到陽臺上去把一磅羽毛扔到你頭上，然後扔下一磅鉛，再讓你說那樣重謝吧!”