有關爆笑英語笑話閱讀

　　笑話是民族文化及社會生活中不可缺少的一環,從古至今都擁有廣大的受眾,深受人們喜愛。小編整理了有關爆笑英語笑話，歡迎閱讀!

　　有關爆笑英語笑話：Final Exams

　　One night Jack Evans, along with his 3 university friends went out drinkinig till late night, as many college students are prone to do, and didn't study for their test, which, of course, was scheduled for the next day.

　　In the morning they thought of a plan. They made themselves look as dirty and weird as they could with grease and dirt.

　　They went up to the dean and explained that they had gone out to a wedding last night and on their return the tire of their car burst. They continued to explain how they had to push the car all the way back and that they were in no condition to appear for the test.

　　The dean, being a compassionate human being said that they could take the test after 3 days. The students graciously replied that they'd be ready by that time.

　　On the third day, they appeared before the dean. The dean explained that since this was a special test all four were required to sit in separate classrooms for the duration of the exam.

　　They all agreed as they had prepared well in the last three days. The test consisted of 5 questions with total of 100 points:

　　MID SEMESTER COURSEWORK EXAMINATION

　　INSTRUCTIONS :

　　All questions are required. Any inconsistencies on any of the questions among the four students will result in all the candidates getting a zero mark.

　　Q.1. Write down your name. ----- ***2 POINTS***

　　Q.2. Write the name of the bride and bridegroom at the wedding you attended. ----- ***30 POINTS***

　　Q.3. What type of a car were you driving? ------***20 POINTS***

　　Q.4. Which tire burst? ------- ***28 POINTS***

　　Q.5. Who was driving? ------ ***20 POINTS***

　　有關爆笑英語笑話：A Real Fortune-teller 真正的算命先生

　　While Milgrom waited at the airport to board his plane, he noticed a computer scale that would give your weight and a fortune.

　　He dropped a quarter in the slot, and the computer screen displayed: "You weigh 195 pounds, you"re married and you're on your way to San Diego." Milgrom stood there dumbfounded.

　　Another man put in a quarter and the computer read："You weigh 184 pounds, you're divorced and you're on your way to Chicago."

　　Milgrom was amazed. Then he rushed to the men's room, changed his clothes and put on dark glasses. He went to the machine again. The computer read: "You still weigh 195 pounds, you're still married, and you just missed your plane to San Diego!"

　　米爾格魯姆在機場等待登機的時候，注意到了一個電腦秤，它既能稱體重又能算命。

　　他把一個兩毛五的硬幣丟進電腦秤的一個小孔裡，電腦螢幕上顯示出這樣一行字：“你的體重是195磅，你已經結婚，你將要去往聖迭戈。”米爾格魯姆頓時站在那裡發起了愣。

　　又有一個人過來了， 他也把硬幣丟進電腦秤裡，螢幕上顯示：“你的體重是184磅，你已經離婚了，你將要去往芝加哥。”

　　米爾格魯姆很是驚訝。於是，他衝進洗手間，換了一套衣服，戴上了墨鏡，又一次走到電腦稱前。這次螢幕上顯示：“你的體重依然是195磅，你依然是個結了婚的人。只是你剛剛錯過飛往聖迭戈的飛機。”

　　有關爆笑英語笑話：Mr. Ferdinand's Lunch 費迪南德先生的午餐

　　One morning Mrs. Ferdinand said to her husband: "Roger, there's a meeting at Mrs. Young's house at lunch time today, and I want to go to it. I'll leave you some food for your lunch. Is that all right?" "Oh, yes." Her husband answered, "That's quite all right. What are you going to leave for my lunch?"

　　"This tin of fish," Mrs. Ferdinand said, "and there are some cold, boiled potatoes and somebeans here, too."

　　"That's good." Mr. Ferdinand said. "I'll have a good lunch." So Mrs. Ferdinand went to her meeting. All the ladies lunched at Mrs. Young's house, and at three o'clock Mrs. Ferdinand came home.

　　"Was your fish nice, Roger?" She asked.

　　"Yes, but my feet are hurting." He answered.

　　"Why are they hurting?" Mrs. Ferdinand asked.

　　"Well, the words on the tin are 'open tin and stand in hot water for five minutes!'"

　　一天早晨，費迪南德太太對丈夫說：“羅傑，今天楊太太要在午餐的時候在家裡舉辦一個聚會，我打算去參加，我給你準備了些食品當午餐，行嗎?”她的丈夫回答說：“行啊，很好。那你準備了些什麼?”

　　費迪南德太太說：“一罐魚，還有一些冷凍的炸土豆和青豆。”

　　費迪南德先生說：“真是棒極了，我可以享用一頓美味的午餐了。”說完，費迪南德太太去出席聚會了。周圍所有的太太也都參加了楊太太家的聚會。直到下午三點的時候，費迪南德太太才回到家。

　　“羅傑，魚好吃嗎?”她問丈夫。

　　丈夫回答：“好吃，可是我的腳卻弄傷了。”

　　費迪南德太太問：“怎麼弄傷的?”

　　“你看，罐頭的說明書上寫著：’開啟罐頭，在燙水中站立5分鐘’。”