關於爆笑的英文笑話精選

　　笑話一般指短小、滑稽的故事,是一種民間口頭創作形式,在民間文化中以口口相傳的形式傳播。小編整理了關於爆笑的英文笑話，歡迎閱讀!

　　關於爆笑的英文笑話：Ze French Art Thief

　　A thief in Paris planned to steal some paintings from the Louvre Museum.

　　After careful planning, he got past security, stole the paintings, and made it safely to his van. However, he was captured only two blocks away when his van ran out of gas.

　　When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then make such an obvious error, he replied, "Monsieur, zat is ze reason I stole ze paintings. I had no Monet to buy Degas to make ze Van Gogh."

　　* See if you have De Gaulle to send zis on to someone else. We sent it to you because we figured, we had nothing Toulouse.

　　關於爆笑的英文笑話：A drunk decides to go ice fishing 酒鬼釣魚

　　A drunk decides to go ice fishing, so he gathers his gear and goes walking around until he finds a big patch of ice. He heads into the center of the ice and begins to saw a hole.

　　All of a sudden, a loud booming voice comes out of the sky. "You will find no fish under that ice."

　　The drunk looks around, but sees no one. He starts sawing again. Once more, the voice speaks, "as I said before, there are no fish under the ice."

　　The drunk looks all around, high and low, but can't see a single soul. He picks up the saw and tries one more time to finish.

　　Before he can even start cutting, the huge voice interrupts. "I have warned you three times now. There are no fish!"

　　The drunk is now flustered and somewhat scared, so he asks the voice, "how do you know there are no fish? Are you God trying to warn me?"

　　"No," the voice replied. "I am the manager of this hockey rink."

　　一個酒鬼想在冰上垂釣，因此，他整理好釣魚用具後，便四處去尋找釣魚場所。最終，他發現了一大塊冰，就跑到冰的中心開始鋸洞。

　　這時，突然從天空中傳來一個急速擴大的聲音。“你是不會在冰的下面找到魚的。”

　　這個酒鬼朝周圍看，可是沒有一個人影。他又繼續鋸了起來。那個說話人的聲音再次響了起來：“我已經說過了，冰的下面沒有魚。”

　　那個酒鬼又向四周從高處到低處半天，可還是什麼也沒有看見。他又拿起鋸繼續往下鋸。

　　他剛要鋸冰面的時候，那個巨大的聲音喝止他說：“現在，我第三次警告你，這下面沒有魚!”

　　酒鬼頓時有些驚慌失措，甚至恐懼起來，於是他問那個聲音：“你是如何知道這下面沒有魚的?上帝呀，難道是你在警告我嗎?”

　　“不是，”那個聲音回答他，“我是冰球場的經理。”

　　關於爆笑的英文笑話：Return to Sender

　　There was a man who worked for the Post Office whose job it was to process all the mail that hadillegible addresses. One day, a letter came addressed in a shaky handwriting to God. He thought he should open it to see what it was about. The letter read:

　　Dear God,

　　I am an 83 year old widow, living on a very small pension. Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had $100 in it, which was all the money I had until my next pension check. Next Sunday is Christmas, and I had invited two of my friends over for dinner. Without that money, I have nothing to buy food with. I have no family to turn to, and you are my only hope. Can you please help me?

　　Sincerely,

　　Edna

　　The postal worker was touched. He showed the letter to all the other workers. Each one dug into his or her wallet and came up with a few dollars. By the time he made the rounds, he had collected $96, which they put into an envelope and sent to the woman. The rest of the day, all the workers felt a warm glow thinking of Edna and the dinner she would be able to share with her friends.

　　Christmas came and went. A few days later, another letter came from the old lady to God. All the workers gathered around while the letter was opened. It read:

　　Dear God,

　　How can I ever thank you enough for what you did for me? Because of your gift of love, I was able to fix a glorious dinner for my friends. We had a very nice day and I told my friends of your wonderful gift. By the way, there was $4 missing. I think it must have been those thievingbastards at the Post Office.