關於經典英語笑話段子

　　冷笑話不同於一般的笑話，以其獨特的制笑機制，能瞬間製造出一種特殊氛圍。小編精心收集了，供大家欣賞學習!

　　：Which Would You Do?

　　You are driving along in your car on a wild, stormy night, when you pass by a bus stop, and you see three people waiting for the bus:

　　1. An old lady who looks as if she is about to die.

　　2. An old friend who once saved your life.

　　3. The perfect partner you have been dreaming about.

　　Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing that there could only be one passenger in your car?

　　Think before you continue reading...

　　This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once actually used as part of a job application.

　　You could pick up the old lady, because she is going to die, and thus you should save her first; Or you could take the old friend because he once saved your life, and this would be the perfect chance to pay him back. However, you may never be able to find your perfect mate again.

　　The candidate who was hired ***out of 200 applicants*** had no trouble coming up with his answer. He simply answered: "I would give the car keys to my old friend and let him take the lady to the hospital. I would stay behind and wait for the bus with the partner of my dreams."

　　Sometimes, we gain more if we are able to give up our stubborn thought limitations. Never forget to "Think Outside of the Box."

　　However, The correct answer is to run the old lady over and put her out of her misery, have sex with the perfect partner against the bus stop sign, then drive off with the old friend for some beers.

　　：Bubba's Assholes

　　Bubba died in a fire and his body was burned pretty badly. The morgue needed someone toidentify the body, so they sent for his two best friends, Daryl and Gomer. The three men had always done everything together.

　　Daryl arrived first, and when the mortician pulled back the sheet, Daryl said, "Yup, his face is burnt up pretty bad. You better roll him over."

　　The mortician rolled him over, and Daryl said, "Nope, ain't Bubba."

　　The mortician thought that was rather strange. Then he brought Gomer in to identify the body. Gomer took a look at the body and said, "Yup, he's pretty well burnt up. Roll him over."

　　The mortician rolled him over and Gomer said, "No, it ain't Bubba."

　　The mortician asked, "How can you tell?"

　　Gomer said, "Well, Bubba had two assholes."

　　"What? He had two assholes?!" said the mortician.

　　"Yup, everyone knew he had two assholes. Every time we went to town, folks would say, 'Here comes Bubba with them two assholes.'"

　　：A Night in Mexico

　　Three women go down to Mexico one night, get drunk, and wake up in jail, only to find that they are to be executed in the morning, though none of them can remember what they did the night before.

　　The first one, a redhead, is strapped in the electric chair, and is asked if she has any last words. She says, "I am from Grace University, and believe in the almighty power of God to intervene on the behalf of the innocent," They throw the switch and nothing happens.

　　They all immediately prostrate themselves; beg for her forgiveness, and release her.

　　The second one, a brunette, is strapped in and gives her last words, "I am from the Creighton School of Law and I believe in the power of justice to intervene on the part of the innocent." They throw the switch and again, nothing happens.

　　Again, they all immediately prostrate themselves; beg for her forgiveness, and release her.

　　The last one, a blonde, is strapped in and says, "Well, I'm from the University of Alabama, Huntsville and just graduated with a degree in Electrical Engineering, and I'll tell you right now, you ain't gonna electrocute nobody if you don't plug this thing in."

　　：Blondes, Bananas And Trains

　　Two blondes were riding a train for the first time. They had brought along a bag of bananas for lunch. Just as one bit into her banana, the train entered a tunnel under a mountain.

　　In the darkness was overheard, "Did you take a bite of your banana?"

　　"No."

　　"Well, don't. I did and I just went blind."

　　：Eating A Deer?

　　Once there was a family who was given some venison by a friend. The wife cooked up the deer steaks, and served it to the husband and children.

　　The husband thought it would be fun to have the children guess what it was that they were eating.

　　"Is is beef?" The daughter Katie asked.

　　"Nope."

　　"Is it pork?" the son Willie asked.

　　"Nope."

　　"Heck, we don't know, Dad!" Willie exclaimed.

　　"I'll give you a clue," the Dad said, "It's what your mom sometimes calls me."

　　"Spit it out, Willie!" cried Katie, "We're eating Asshole!!"