適合英語演講的小笑話

　　笑話,不同文化背景的人的反應有時是不同的,甚至會截然相反。究其原因,是說話雙方沒有真正理解對方的文化。下面是小編帶來的，歡迎閱讀!

　　篇一

　　孩子的模仿

　　The kindergarten class I teach was excited about the February assembly,where they would participate by reciting a portion of Lincoln's Gettysburg Address.One morning a student rushed into class shouting,"Mrs.michaels,Mrs.Michaels!I told my mommy and daddy the spaghettisburg address."

　　幼兒園大班的每個孩子都特別喜歡“二月聚會”，會上他們可以參加背誦一段林肯在哥德斯堅的講演。有天早晨，一個孩子衝進班裡大聲喊到:“米切爾太太，未切爾太太!我給我媽媽爸爸做了次斯拜戈蒂講演.”

　　篇二

　　賣馬還是賣房子?

　　My friend Janet，a real-estate agent，was driving around with a new trainee when she spotted a charming little farm house with a hand-lettered"For Sale"sign out frout.

　　我朋友珍妮足房地產商人。一次約她的新僱員開車兜風時看到一個非常精美別緻的小農場.農場的告示牌上寫著幾個手寫字型:“拍賣!"

　　After introducing herself and her associate to the startled occupant, Janet cruised from room to room，opening closets and cupboards，testing faucets and pointing out where a "new light fixture here and a little paint there"would help. Pleased with her assertiveness，Janet was hopeful that he would offer her the listing.

　　珍妮簡單地向吃驚的農場主做了自我介紹後，隨即開始在各個房問“鑑定”。開啟廚櫃和衣廚，試試水龍頭，而且還比劃著:“這兒應安個燈，那兒應上點漆就更好了.”她對自己的“鑑定”感到十分滿意.珍妮想房主該給房子出價了。

　　" Ma'am，" the man said，”I appreciate the home-improvement tips and all，but I think you read my sign wrong.It says，"Horse For Sale."

　　“太太，”房主說:“我很感激您對我家佈置裝璜方面的指點。但我想您一定是搞錯了，我的告示牌上寫的走“拍賣馬”。

　　篇三

　　國際手勢

　　After driving up and down several lanes，I finally found a parking spot at the shopping mall. I noticed another man driving very slowly in the same direction, and, since he was closer，I gave him the "Are you going to park there?" look.His responding gestures were very complicated. First he shook his head. Next he pointed at me，then at the parking space and then at himself , his watch and the mall. Finishing off, he frowned，raised his palms upward and shrugged.

　　為了找個停車位，我在好幾條街上開來開去，最後終於在一大商場旁發現一個。可是我卻看到另一輛車慢慢地也在朝這個車位靠近。當我看到那位司機，他也看到我時，我用眼神問他:“要停在那兒嗎?”他用手勢回答得很複雜。開始他搖了搖頭，然後他指指我，又指指那車位，又指指他自己，指指他的表和商店。最後他衝我皺了皺眉，兩手向上，聳了聳肩.

　　Once I parked，I walked over to the driver to make sure he didn't want the space. "You must be single，"he replied."If you were rnarried,you would have known that was the universal sign for 'Go ahead and take the spot. I'm waiting for my wife.''

　　我還是停了車，並走到那個司機前想弄清他到底需要不需要停在那兒。“喂，你一定還是個光棍兒吧.”他說:“要是你結了婚，你就會明白我那國際通用的手勢是“去吧，佔那個車位，我在等我老婆。”

　　篇四

　　弄巧成拙

　　One evening my husband's golfing buddy drove his secretary home after she had imbibed a little too much at an office reception. Although this was an innocent gesture，he decided not to mention it to his wife,who tended to get jealous easily.

　　一天晚上，我丈夫一位打高爾夫球的朋友開車送他的祕書回家。那個祕書是因為在公司的招待會上喝多了點兒，不能自己駕車回家。這事雖然無可厚非，但是他還是決定不把

　　這事告訴他那愛吃蠟的妻子。

　　Later that night my husband's friend and his wife were driving to a restaurant. Suddenly he looked down and spotted a high-heel shoe half hidden under the passenger seat.Not wanting to be conspicuous， he waited until his wife was looking out of her window before he ,scooped up the shoe and tossed it out of the car. With a sigh of relief , he pulled into the restaurant parking lot. That's when he noticed his wife squirming around in her .seat.” Honey,"she asked，“

　　have you seen my other shoe?"

　　也就在同天晚上，這位朋友送走祕書後，又帶著妻子驅車去飯店吃晚飯。無意中他看見一隻高跟鞋半掩在後座椅子下。他不想引起懷疑，趁妾子扭頭看窗外的時侯，掏出了那

　　只鞋，把它扔出了車外。他大大地鬆了一口氣，把汽車停在了飯店外的停車場。這時，他發現他妻子正低頭找著什麼東西。妻子問:“親愛的，你看見我的那隻鞋了嗎?"

　　篇五

　　沒有魚可釣

　　Two Texans went up to Minnesota to go ice fishing.After setting up their tent，they started to cut a hole in the ice. As they pulled the cord on their chain saw，they heard a voice from above:"There are no fish under the ice.”

　　兩位德克薩斯人一起北上到明尼蘇達進行冰上釣魚。支起帳篷後，他們便在冰上鑿了個窟窿。正當他們拉鍊鋸上的魚線時，從他們的頭頂上傳來了一個聲音:“冰下無魚。”

　　When they pulled the cord again，the same voice intoned:"There are no fish under the ice. "

　　他們又去拉魚線，這時又傳來了同樣的聲音:“冰下無魚。”

　　"Is that you，God?"they asked in awe.

　　這次可把這兩人嚇壞了，他們問:“是你嗎，上帝?”

　　"No,"came the reply. "I own this ice rink-and I can tell you that there are no fish under the ice.”

　　“不，”那個聲音說，“我是這冰湖的主人，我可以告訴你們冰下無魚。”