最新外國幽默故事三則

　　笑話是一種增強快樂的文化，常常以篇幅短小，故事情節簡單，文筆巧妙的形式出現，給人以出乎意料，並且取得笑意的藝術效果的文化。在忙碌的生活，我們也需要偶爾的放鬆一下自己。下面小編為大家帶來外國最新幽默故事三則，希望大家喜歡!

　　外國最新幽默故事：彆著急

　　A fellow with a bad cough comes in to the pharmacy，walks up to the counter and asks for the pharmacist. A young clerk tells him that the pharmacist is not available. The man asks the young clerk if he can recommend anything for his cough. The clerk gives him a bottle of some medicine for his cough. The customer takes a big swig, then after a few minutes，with no apparent relief, he takes another, and another.

　　一個人咳嗽得非常厲害，他到藥房去抓藥。當他走近櫃檯找藥劑師的時候，一個年輕的店員告訴他藥劑師這會兒很忙。那個人就問這個年輕的店員能不能給他點藥來止咳。那個店員就給他一瓶藥水止咳，那個人就喝下一大口。過了幾分鐘，症狀沒有明顯的好轉，他就又喝了一大口，接著又一大口。

　　In a short while, the pharmacist returns，and sees his old friend，the customer with the cough, sitting quietly in a booth near the soda fountain. He says to his clerk that the fellow has never before stopped at the soda fountain.

　　過了不久，藥劑師回來看到他，那咳嗽的老朋友，安靜地坐在冰櫃旁。他對他的店員說，那個人從來沒有在冰櫃旁逗留過，現在是怎麼回事?

　　The clerk proudly tells the pharmacist the story of his transaction. The pharmacist looks at the recommended medication and angrily reprimands the clerk for recommending a laxative，instead of cough syrup. The clerk reminds the pharmacist whatever the mode, the medication was effective. The pharmacist replies,"Now, he’s afraid to cough!”

　　那個年輕的店員把自己處理的辦法自豪地告訴藥劑師。藥劑師看著他給的藥，嚴厲地責備店員怎麼能用瀉藥而不是止咳糖漿來止咳。店員提醒藥劑師，不管什麼方法，藥開始起作用了。藥劑師反駁說:“現在他是不敢咳嗽了!”

　　外國最新幽默故事：春季種植

　　The general was confined to the military hospital for treatment of a minor malady. For almost a week he made a complete nuisance of himself, irritating both staff and the other patients，demanding attention and expecting his every order to be followed immediate1y. He was in a six-man ward rather than a private room, his meals were too cold or not served to suit his taste, the light needed to be adjusted to his demands, the nighttime activities interfered with his rest… and on，and on.

　　一位將軍因為一點小病在一所軍隊醫院裡接受治療。整整一週他都在挑刺找麻煩，這使醫院的工作人員和病友們對他很反感。他苛刻的要求他的每個命令都要得到執行。他住在一個六人病房裡，他的飯不能是涼的，也不能不合他的口味，就連燈光也要調到他需要的亮度，夜裡有什麼動靜也不能影響他的休息，等等。

　　One afternoon an orderly entered the room. "Time to take your temperature, General.”

　　一天下午一個勤務兵走進病房。“該測體溫了，將軍。”

　　After growling at the orderly，the general opened his mouth to accept the thermometer.

　　在和這個勤務兵咆哮了一通之後，將軍張開了他的嘴同意測量體溫。

　　"Sorry, General，but for this test we need your temperature from the other end.”

　　“對不起，將軍，但是這回要測的是您直腸溫度。”

　　A whole new barrage of verbal abuse followed, but the orderly was insistent that a rectal temperature was what the test called for. The general at last rolled over, bared his rear, and allowed the orderly to proceed. The orderly then told the general, "Stay exactly like that and don' t move. I’11 be back in five minutes to check up on you and withdraw.”

　　又一陣瘋狂的言語辱罵之後，那個勤務兵執意堅持要測的是直腸體溫。最後，將軍翻了過去，脫下了褲子，接著衛兵開始了測量。那個勤務兵對將軍說:“就這樣不要動，我五分鐘後回來檢查後再拿出來。”

　　An hour later, the head nurse entered the room. saw the general with his bare rear in the air and gasped，" W hat’s going on here?”

　　一個小時之後，護十長走進病房，看見將軍露著他的屁股就問:“這是怎麼回事?”

　　"Haven’t you ever seen someone having their temperature taken?" the general barked.

　　“你沒看見有人正在接受體溫測量嗎?”那個將軍大聲嚷道。

　　"Yes I have，General，but with a daffodil?"

　　“是的，我看見了。將軍，但是那不是溫度計而是一棵水仙呀。”

　　外國最新幽默故事：真正的勇氣

　　An American General，a Russian General and a British General are standing on the deck of a ship watching war exercises. The topic of discussion turns to human courage, and the Russian General boasts，"Russians are the most courageous people on Earth!"

　　一位美國將軍、一位俄羅斯將軍和一位英國將軍站在一艘船的甲板上看著軍事演習他們談論著人的勇氣，這時俄羅斯將軍吹噓道:“俄羅斯的士兵是世界上最勇敢的人!”

　　Upon which the American challenges him: "Oh YEAH?"

　　對此，美國將軍反問道:“哦?真的嗎?”

　　The Russian says, "Sure! Here, Yuri! Jump off the deck *** into the freezing Atlantic*** and swim around the ship!"Yuri marches off without a word, and does as he is told. The Russian turns around and says: "See，there' s an example of courage!"

　　俄羅斯將軍說:“當然，不信看著。尤芮，從甲板上跳下去繞著船遊一圈。”***下面就是冰冷的大西洋***尤芮二話沒說就按命令跳了下去。俄羅斯將軍轉過頭說:“看見了嗎?這就是勇氣的例子。”

　　The American has to top this，so he calls up one of his underlings and gives him the order: "Jack, Jump off the main mast into the ocean，and swim around the ship seventimes!"

　　Poor Jack goes off without a murmur, and he too does as he is told. The American General says: "Now top that for courage!"

　　美國將軍不服氣，所以就叫來他的一個部下命令道:“傑克，從桅杆上跳下去，然後繞著船遊七圈。”可憐的傑克沒吭一聲地服從了命令。然後，美國將軍說:“這才叫做勇氣。”

　　So they both turn around to the British General who has been standing around watching these antics silently. They ask him:“What about your people?"

　　接著他們都轉向了一直站在旁邊靜靜觀看的英國將軍，然後他們問他:“你們的人怎麼樣?”

　　So the British guy***alls up one of his people and says: "Trevor, jump off the mast and swim under the keel of the ship, will you , old chap?"

　　英國將軍叫來了一個人說:“特雷弗，從桅杆上跳下去，然後從船底下游過去，聽見了嗎，老傢伙?”

　　Trevor stares at his general.

　　特雷弗瞪著他的將軍。

　　"Let me get this right. You want me to jump off the mast."

　　“你的意思是說讓我從桅杆上跳下去。”

　　"Yes."

　　“對。”

　　"And swim under the keel."

　　“然後從船底下游過去。”

　　"Yes."

　　“對。”

　　"You must be daft!"

　　“你一定是發瘋了!”

　　And so saying, Trevor turns around and saunters off. Whereupon the British General turns to the other two and says，"Now there’s an example of TRUE courage!"

　　說著，特雷弗轉過身去，閒庭漫步般走去。於是英國將軍轉過來對那兩個人說:“現在這才叫真正的勇氣呢!”