簡單的英語短笑話

　　從古到今,笑話是人們生活中不可缺少的“調劑品”。那麼你想讀一些短的簡單英語笑話嗎?下面小編為大家帶來，希望大家喜歡!

　　1：

　　My husband，Michael，a bus driver，was passing a deserted bus stop when one of his passengers called out that a woman wanted to get on. He pulled up to the curb and opened the doors.

　　我丈夫，麥克是個開大巴士的。一次當他剛要開過一個無人上下車的車站時，一位乘客喊過有位老婦人要上車。麥克把車停靠在馬路邊，打開了車門。

　　After a minute，Michael saw an elderly woman with a cane crossing the street slowly. He waited patiently as she made her way to the bus and climbed the steps.While she was looking in her purse for her bus pass，he began to close the doors.”Wait a minute!”she snapped."My mother's coming.”

　　過了足有一分鐘，麥克才見到一位老太太拄著柺杖，慢騰騰地過著馬路朝車子走來。麥克襯心地等她來到汽車旁上著臺階。趁老太太開啟錢包找月票的工夫，麥克欲關門，老婦人阻止道:“別真，我媽媽還在後面呢!”

　　2：

　　During the Gulf War，my sister，Jane，bought a flag and asked her apartment's maintenance man, a Vietnam vet，to install a pole for him. When she offered to pay him,he told her there was no way he could take money for putting up the American flag.

　　海灣戰爭期間，我妹妹珍妮買了一面美國國旗，她請房子的維修工—一位越戰的老兵給她豎一根旗杆。當我妹妹為此什給他錢時，他說，他幫助掛美國國旗，無論如何都不該收錢。

　　Jane contacted her local newspaper，and they published an article about the incident. The next time she encountered the maintenance man, he told her that everyone he knew had read her story and that she had made him a celebrity.Jane jokingly asked for his autograph.

　　珍妮來到當地報杜，就此事在報上發表了一篇文章。當珍妮第二次碰到那位維修工時，他對珍妮說他所認識的人都看了她寫的報章，是她使他成為了名人。珍妮開玩笑地說讓他給籤個名。

　　"I don't have time,"the man replied. "I'm too busy setting up American flags.”

　　他回答說:“那我可沒時間，掛美國國旗的事忙得我不可開交。”

　　3：

　　My wife will go to any extreme to keep people from,knowing she is home alone. One evening when I was working late，my wife heard a knock on the door. She ignosed it,but the knocing continued. Frantic，sloe began to bark,softly at first，then louder and louder. Much to her relief,the knocking soon stopped.

　　我妻子獨自在家時，總是不想讓別人知道家裡沒有其他的人。一天晚上，我工作到很晚。我妻子聽到有人敲門，她就沒理，但敲門的聲音總是不停，慌亂之中，她開始學狗叫。一開始她低聲地叫，隨後她的叫聲越來越大。敲門聲很快地停了，她這才鬆了口氣。

　　The next day the paper boy came to the door to collect."I came by last night,"he told me,"but I left when your wife barked at me!"

　　第二天，送報的小孩來我家收錢，那小孩告訴我:“我昨晚上就來了，你老婆老衝我學狗叫，我就走了。”

　　4：

　　One semester when my brother, Peter，attended the University of Minnesota in Minneapolis，an art-student friend of his asked if he could paint Peter's portait for a class.assignment. Peter agreed，and the art student painted and submitted the portrait, only to receive a C minus.

　　我兄弟彼得在明尼阿波利斯的明尼索達大學上學時，有一個學期，他的一位學藝術的朋友問他是否可以用他做素描的模特作為課堂作業。彼得同意了。那位藝術生畫完了，就把肖像交給了老師。他只得了一個C-.

　　The art student approached the professor to ask why the grade was so poor. The teacher told him that the proportions in the painting were incorrect.”The head is too big，”the professor explained.”The shoulders are too wide， and the feet are enormous."

　　那位藝術生找到教授問為什麼他的分數這麼低。教授告訴他肖像中的比例失調，教授說:“腦袋太大，肩太寬，腳也過於大了。”

　　The next day,the art student brought Peter to see the professor. He took one Look at my brother."Okay, A minus. "he said.

　　第二天，那位藝術生帶彼得見教授，教授看了我兄弟一眼，並說:“好，可以得A-。”