關於初一英語笑話故事

　　笑話是現代社會發展最快的一種口頭文學體裁,它體現了某一民族行為中最深刻的和潛意識中的觀點。本文是，希望對大家有幫助!

　　：A poor poet 一名可憐的詩人

　　Poet: I hope you've received the little volume of poems I sent you. Woman: Oh, yes. It's very nice. I wonder where I've put it? Her son: It's under the leg of the table, Mom, to make it steady.

　　詩人：我希望你已經收到我寄給你的那些詩了 女人：哦，收到了，收到了，很不錯。哎，我把它放哪兒去了呢? 女人的兒子：媽媽，你為了讓桌子立的更穩，把那些詩稿墊在桌子腿下面了。

　　：Pain Transference 疼痛轉移

　　A married couple went to the hospital together to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would transfer a portion of the mother's labor pain to the father. He asked if they were willing to try it out. They were both very much in favor of it.

　　The doctor set the knob to 10 percent for starters, explaining that even 10 percent was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before.

　　But as the labor progressed, the husband felt fine, so he asked the doctor to go ahead and bump it up a notch. The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20 percent pain transfer.

　　The husband was still feeling fine. The doctor checked the husband's blood pressure and pulse and was amazed at how well he was doing. At this, they decided to try for 50 percent.

　　The husband continued to feel quite well. Since it was obviously helping out his wife considerably, he encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him. The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain. She

　　and her husband were ecstatic.

　　When they got home, the mailman was dead on their porch.

　　：你停止打你老婆了嗎?

　　This story is told of a browbeating counsel，who habitually endeavored to terrorize his opponent's witnesses.

　　One witness rather tended to preface his replies with lengthy explanations.

　　“I want‘yes’or‘no，’”thundered counsel.

　　“There is no need for you to argue the point!”

　　“But there are some questions which cannot be answered by‘yes’or‘no，’”mildly responded the witness.

　　“There are not!” snapped the lawyer.

　　“Oh，” said the witness，“answer this then：Have you ceased beating your wife?”

　　這個故事講的是一個咄咄逼人的辯護律師，他慣於儘量去恐嚇對方的證人。

　　有一個證人有點傾向於在回答問題之前做冗長的解釋。

　　“我要你回答‘是’或者‘不是’，”辯護律師怒喝道： “你沒有必要就這個問題進行爭論。”

　　“可是有些問題無法用‘是’或者‘不是’來回答。”這位證人溫和地回敬他。

　　“不存在這樣的問題!”律師厲聲打斷他。

　　“噢，”證人說：“那麼請你回答這個問題：你停止打你老婆了嗎?”

　　：A Man of Actions 言出必行

　　A crowd of student was gathered on the campus of Oxford University.“You can have no doubt,”shouted a young man excitedly,“that if the Dean does not take back what he said to me this morning, I'll leave Oxford this very evening!”

　　A buzzing noise followed.“What a man of actions!”one said in admiration.“How should we support him and learn from him!”said another.

　　Suddenly, a girl asked,“What did the Dean say to you, Hob?”

　　He bent and whispered to her,“Well,er???er???Miss Rose, er???he told me to get clean away from Oxford this very evening!”

　　一個言出必行的人

　　一群學生聚在牛津的校園裡，一個年輕人情緒激動地叫道：“毋庸置疑，如果系主任不收回他今早對我說的話，我今晚就離開牛津。”

　　下面一片喧譁。“真是個言出必行的人。”一個人豔羨地說。另一個說：“我們要支援他、學習他。”

　　突然，一個女孩問道：“系主任對你說什麼了，霍波?”

　　他彎下腰小聲說：“哦，呃…呃…，羅斯小姐，呃…他說要我今晚從牛津滾出去。”

　　：邏輯推理

　　A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson on logic.

　　"Here is the situation," she said. "a man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yellin

　　g for help. His wife hears the commotion, knows that he can't swim, and runs down to the bank. Why do you think she ran to the bank?"

　　A girl raised her hand and asked, "to draw out all of his savings?"

　　小學四年級的教師正在給學生們上一堂邏輯課。她舉了這麼一個例子：“有這樣一種情況，一個男人在河中心的船上釣魚，突然失去重心掉進了水裡。於是他開始掙扎並喊救命。他的妻子聽到了他的喊聲，知道他並不會游泳，所以她就急忙跑向河岸。誰能告訴我這是為什麼?” 一個女生舉手答道，“是不是去取他的存款?”