關於簡短的英語笑話大全

　　笑話作為民間俗文學的一種重要體裁,具有深厚的民族文化內涵。小編精心收集了關於簡短的英語笑話，供大家欣賞學習!

　　關於簡短的英語笑話篇1

　　Where Am I?

　　An Englishman lost his way while he was driving in the countryside. He saw a farmer working in the field nearby, so he went nearer in his car and asked the farmer, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"

　　"Yes, " the farmer looked at him strangely and said, "you are in your car, sir."

　　一個英國人在鄉下開車時迷了路，他看見一個農民正在附近的地裡幹活。於是他就把車開過去問那位農民：“勞駕，您能告訴我我現在這是在哪兒嗎?”

　　“可以。”農夫奇怪地看了看他，然後說道：“你現在在你的車子裡，先生。”

　　關於簡短的英語笑話篇2

　　Alligator

　　A guy walks into a bar with a pet alligator by his side. He puts the alligator up on the bar. He turns to the astonished patrons.

　　"I'll make you a deal. I will open this alligator's mouth and place my genitals inside. Then the gator will close his mouth for one minute. He will then open his mouth and I willremove my unit unscathed. In return for witnessing this spectacle, each of you will buy me a drink."

　　The crowd murmured their approval. The man stood up on the bar, dropped his trousers, and placed his privates in the alligator's open mouth. The gator closed his mouth as the crowd gasped. After a minute, the man grabbed a beer bottle and rapped the alligator hard on the top of its head. The gator opened his mouth and the man removed his genitals unscathed as promised. The crowd cheered and the first of his free drinks was delivered. The man stood up again and made another offer.

　　"I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try".

　　A hush fell over the crowd. After a while, a hand went up in the back of the bar. A woman timidly spoke up. "I'll try, but you have to promise not to hit me on the head with the beer bottle".

　　關於簡短的英語笑話篇3

　　Oatmeal

　　A couple had been married for 50 years. They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the old gentleman said to his wife, "Just think, honey, we've been married for 50 years."

　　"Yeah," she replied, "Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together."

　　"I know," the old man said, "We were probably sitting here naked as jaybirds fifty years ago."

　　"Well," Granny snickered, "What do you say...should we get naked?" Where upon the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table.

　　"You know, honey," the little old lady breathlessly replied, "My nipples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago."

　　"I wouldn't be surprised," replied Gramps. "One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal."

　　關於簡短的英語笑話篇4

　　The Shredder

　　A young executive was leaving the office at 6 p.m. when he found the CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand.

　　"Listen," said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important document and my secretary has left. Can you make this thing work?"

　　"Certainly," said the young executive. He turned the machine on, inserted the paper and pressed the start button.

　　"Excellent, excellent," said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the machine. "I just need one copy."

　　關於簡短的英語笑話篇5

　　Airhead

　　An airhead goes for a job interview in an office. The interviewer starts with the basics. "So, Miss, can you tell us your age, please?"

　　The airhead counts carefully on her fingers for half a minute before replying "Ehhhh... 22!"

　　The interviewer tries another straightforward one to break the ice. "And can you tell us your height, please?"

　　The young lady stands up and produces a measuring tape from her handbag. She then traps one end under her foot and extends the tape to the top of her head. She checks the measurement and announces "Five foot two!"

　　This isn't looking good so the interviewer goes for the real basics; something the interviewee won't have to count, measure, or lookup. "Just to confirm for our records, your name please?" The airhead bobs her head from side to side for about ten seconds, mouthing something silently to herself, before replying "Mandy!"

　　The interviewer is completely baffled at this stage, so he asks "What were you doing when I asked you your name?"

　　"Ohhhh, that!" replies the airhead," I was just running through that song, 'Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you....' ".