英語趣味爆笑小故事

　　“哪裡有人,哪裡就有笑聲。”從古到今,笑話是人們生活中不可缺少的“調劑品”。笑話使人們在刻板的生活中感到一絲快意和放鬆，在人們的日常生活中起著重要調劑作用。下面小編為大家帶來，歡迎大家閱讀!

　　1：

　　Walking up to a department store's fabric counter, the pretty girl said, "I would like to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?"

　　"Only one kiss per yard," replied the male clerk with a smirk. "That's fine," said the girl. "I'll take ten yards."

　　With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, the clerk quickly measured out the cloth, wrapped it up, then teasingly held it out.

　　The girl snapped up the package, pointed to the old geezer standing beside her, and smiled, "Grandpa will pay the bill."

　　一個漂亮的女孩走到百貨公司的布料櫃檯，說：“我想要買這種料子來做一條新裙子，多少錢?”

　　“每碼只需要一個吻。”男售貨員說著，帶著奸笑的表情“很好，”女孩說，“我要十碼。”

　　帶著期待的表情，售貨員很快地量好了布料，包裹好，一臉奸笑地送了過來。

　　女孩很快收起了包裹，微笑著指向了一個站在她身邊的老頭：“爺爺給我付賬。

　　2：

　　Three men were sitting on a park bench. The one in the middle was reading a newspaper; the others were pretending to fish. They baited imaginary hooks, cast lines and reeled in their catch.

　　A passing policeman stopped to watch the spectacle and asked the man in the middle if he knew the other two.

　　"Oh yes, " he said. "They are my friends.

　　"In that case, " warned the officer, "you'd better get them out of here!"

　　"Yes, sir, " the man replied, and he began rowing furiously.

　　三位男子在公園的長椅上坐著。中間的一個在讀報紙，另外兩個在假裝釣魚。他們給想象的魚鉤上魚餌，放線，並卷線把魚抓上來。

　　一位過路警察駐足觀察了這個景象，他問中間的那個男子是否認識其他兩位。

　　“喔，認識，”他說，“他們是我的朋友。”

　　“那樣的話，”警察告誡說，“你最好把他們從這裡弄走。”

　　“好的，警官。”那男子回答說，接著就開始瘋狂般地做起划槳的動作來。

　　3：

　　Bring me the winner

　　-- Waiter, this lobster has only one claw.

　　-- I'm sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight.

　　-- Well, bring me the winner then.

　　給我那個打贏的吧

　　-- 服務員，

　　這個龍蝦只有一隻爪。

　　-- 對不起，先生，這隻肯定打過架了。

　　-- 哦， 那給我那個打贏的吧。

　　4：

　　"Doctor," she said loudly, bouncing into the room, "I want you to say frankly what's wrong with me."

　　He surveyed her from head to foot. "Madam," he said at length, "I've just three things to tell you. First, your weight wants reducing by nearly fifty pounds. Second, your beauty could be improved if you used about one tenth as much rouge and lipstick. And third, I'm an artist---the doctor lives downstairs."

　　“醫生”她衝進屋後大聲說道。

　　我想讓你坦率地說我到底得了什麼病。”

　　他從頭到腳打量打量她，然後大聲說：“太太，我有三件事要對你說。第一，您的體重需要減少大約50磅;第二，如果您要用上十分之一的胭脂和口紅，您的美貌將會改變。第三，我是一位畫家——醫生住在樓下。”